<p>My S was admitted to 2 Ivies and waitlisted at 3 more. However, the financial aid packages were insufficient for us and we have told him it will be impossible for him to attend. We cannot take on that much debt, and the EFC is completely unrealistic. </p>
<p>He has worked very hard and we feel awful about this. Please post if you are in the same boat so he doesn't feel alone. We live in an affluent area where this would be an unthinkable decision for any of his friends.</p>
<p>Of course, we're looking into a financial aid appeal, but those are generally unsuccessful.</p>
<p>I'm turning down Stanford in favor of the University of Maryland (or hopefully Santa Clara University) because I can't afford it. My family makes 150K a year, but with my siblings to separate Catholic high schools (after four years of sending me to a different one), $40,000 a year for me to go to college in wholly unrealistic. (And I am completely opposed to taking on that much debt after college when I have the option not to.)</p>
<p>Whenever I tell my friends (who are generally affluent), they're like "You're KIDDING." </p>
<p>I've come to terms with this reality.</p>
<p>The fact that your son was admitted means he is capable of great success anywhere he goes.</p>
<p>My son has been accepted to University of Denver, DePauw, Digi Pen Institute of Technology and University of Colorado, Colorado Springs. Certainly not Ivy league schools, but they may as well be with the costs between 32 and 42 thousand dollars. Our EFC is 35, 000. That just seems so very unrealistic to me. Soooo, he will probably go to the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs..the only school that he applied to that is reasonable in cost. He was given 12 thousand a year from DePauw, 8 thousand a year from Denver, merit based..still leaving way too much money to come out of our pockets. It is not fair, but it is reality. We have three other children right behind him that wish to go to college as well, one of them with special needs. What a way to learn how life really works. I feel terrible for him as well..but on the bright side, UCCS is a pretty good school and it is close to home. He did not apply to any Ivy league schools.</p>
<p>There were a lot of threads of this last year so you might want to go to the archieves. On CC this is very common, there are lots of families that the EFC is just too much for. I know that my parents and I had long conversations before I applied, and I know that I have to make a significant contribution to afford a high priced college without stressing them too much.</p>
<p>I feel your pain, was accepted to Bowdoin, but had to pass because of lack of financial need. It really sucks, only the very poor and the rich can really afford college.</p>
<p>The middle class gets the shaft. Too poor to pay, too rich to get assistance.
The Ivies truly are for the elite in every sense. But, there are other wonderful schools who would love to have the Ivy rejects and will offer great merit aid. The amazing thing about the US, for which we should be very grateful, is that almost everyone really can go to college.</p>
<p>Good post GFG. I'm always surprised that so many people don't think of colleges as just another commodity that you can or can't afford. We debated this in a class this week. We would all love a BMW rather than a Saturn, a mansion rather than a shack and a quality college rather than one where we're just a number. But it's all a matter of what we can afford and what sacrifices we're willing to make.</p>
<p>It is not at all unusual for people to go to public universities in order to save money. Need-based finan aid is set up so that the poor pay almost nothing and the rich pay full price. The problem is how they define rich. Rich in terms of need-based aid is really just being middle class. The idea of paying $12000 or $15000 thousand per year as an EFC is ridiculous for most people. It is important to hoard some money for grad school and to get a start in life later. If you just explained it to your S that he will have $100,000 later in life that he would not otherwise have and a better shot at being able to afford grad school, that should cut down on some of the disappointment. </p>
<p>The PLUS loans are designed for people in your position. You could perhaps pursue the economics with your S so that he understands the effect of taking a large loan on himself. High school students sometimes have no more idea of what $100000 means that I do about what the National Debt means. I would not rule out the possibility of a PLUS loan. If your EFC is $20000, then it would be $80000 over four years. I don't know what kind of car you drive.</p>
<p>Dufus, the EFC isn't something colleges expect you to take out of pocket. The calculation assumes parents have saved for college over the years. What's killing my parents is that they spent most of what they saved because 2 of us really wanted to go to boarding school. To me it seems OK to take on some debt since it is one of the most important purchases I'll ever make. I'm not sure why so many people on this site deem large loans so unacceptable. I wouldn't borrow big for a mediocre school or if I knew I wanted a low paying career, but for a great school and with career expectations that are high paying, I'm willing to take the risk.</p>
<p>As suze pointed out, the EFC isn't something coming out of pocket. This can be confusing for the people who have no savings in the bank. They calculate the EFC based on income (parents & student) and savings (parents & students), but if the savings are zero, then they still set the EFC at $15,000. PLUS loans are good for these people. Otherwise, it would have to come out of home equity and the housing bubble is worrisome. </p>
<p>I am actually on both sides of the fence. I understand why it might be worth it for a student to shell out $100,000 or more for a prestigious school. I also understand how much money $100,000 is. On the other hand, parents who can't afford $15000 per year shouldn't be buying Mercedes or vacation homes in the near future.</p>
<p>This is even more of an issue for parents whose EFC is $0. In that case, it is just $180,000 for college at private schools. Based on last year, there are going to be a lot of posts shortly about high school students with parents that won't pay anything for college, or high school students with divorced parents where the extranged parent won't pay anything. For these people, the EFC is much higher than anything that can be handled. If both parents bail out, the student can't even get loans on their own.</p>
<p>My son will attend an out of state public, rather than his first choice private college. Even with a 10,000 merit scholarship this school is not affordable for our family. He did not receive another dime in grants through financial aid. He was offered a subsidized stafford and that is it. The school's price tag is 44000 now, so we cannot swing it.</p>
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The Ivies truly are for the elite in every sense.
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<p>Well, let's not get TOO ahead of ourselves. I know a number of students who went to Harvard and didn't pay a dime, because they came from poor backgrounds. And I do mean POOR - some of them grew up in a gang-infested hellhole where crime and drugs were part of the environment. Another was a refugee from war-torn Africa who arrived at Harvard with little more than the shirt on her back. I certainly wouldn't call any of these people "elite". </p>
<p>Let's face it. Middle class American kids had far far better childhoods than any of these kids did.</p>