I’m feeling pretty bad and I cant sleep for the past few days because all my friends are getting into such great colleges. I, on the other hand, keep getting rejected. (Before any of you guys comment with negativity, I’m NOT talking about rejection from Ivies or top schools. I’m talking about being rejected from match schools and such.)
It sucks because it feels like I’m being rejected as a person since I poured my heart into my essays and application. I’m not that accomplished or interesting of a person nor do I have an interesting background. It’s also affecting my sense of self-worth since my identical twin is being accepted everywhere that I’m not getting into. In short, I feel exhausted and miserable.
How do you guys deal with rejection when everyone around you is getting into their dream schools? I guess moving on is the best answer but it’s not that easy rn
You poor kid. I’m sorry. And I’m serious, rejection stinks! maybe those colleges are just not a fit for you, and you’ve done such a great job on the essays that they see they are not your best fit. The right fit will see it too and choose you.
This is the time to build character. You will go to college. I’m betting you have an acceptance in your pocket already. So just try to be graceful, and know that this will be a distant memory in a year, while you are busy in the library of your college trying to get everything done before spring break.
Have you gotten any acceptances yet? I think the waiting is hardest before the first acceptance rolls in.
Which schools haven’t you heard from yet? You seem to have a pretty good list of schools. As long as you’re happy attending any of the schools on your list, you’ll be fine.
You really should stop comparing yourself to your friends and your twin. You just can’t know what was in their app that wasn’t in yours. Virtually all students get rejected from somewhere. You will have a college to go to, because even in the worst case scenario, there are colleges that will still accept students come May. NACAC will publish a list of colleges that have places available and some of,those colleges are great.
You aren’t the first person who has posted on CC because you don’t have any acceptances yet. Come back here in early April and there will be some sad stories about incredible students who get in nowhere, or maybe only to their safety school. Read these, it might make you feel better:
If you don’t get a single acceptance, there is no point beating yourself up, but you might want to think about what you could have done better. Is it possible you weren’t totally objective about your chances at your reach or match schools? Did anyone review your essay, did you choose the best teachers to write your recs, and so on. I don’t say that to make you feel bad, but if you understand what went wrong, it might help you avoid a similar scenario in the future, and you will probably feel better for understanding what you could have improved on.
It always helps to remind yourself that you can’t control other people’s actions. You are ultimately responsible for what happens in your life. If you end up with only one or two accpetances, or none, it’s up to you to make the most of what you have to work with, or to make other opportunities for yourself. But there WILL be a future college for you. PLEASE read this inspiring story of an amazing kid who didn’t get in anywhere, but made lemonade out of lemons: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/192395-no-acceptances-one-kids-story-a-year-later-p1.html
You will ultimately be fine, but of course it’s hard right now. Things will work out, be patient. Good luck!
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It sucks because it feels like I’m being rejected as a person since I poured my heart into my essays and application. I’m not that accomplished or interesting of a person nor do I have an interesting background. It’s also affecting my sense of self-worth since my identical twin is being accepted everywhere that I’m not getting into. In short, I feel exhausted and miserable.
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Which schools have you not yet heard from? Where have you been rejected.
Let me tell you about my cousin’s kids, which had a similar situation. One got into Stanford, one “only” got into San Diego State. At the time, it seemed like such a huge deal. Now, they’re both out of college. Stanford grad is working as a mechanical engineer. San Diego grad is a pilot for a major airline.
Right now you may feel sad, but don’t let that stop you. Your school name will not define you.
You have a great list of schools, you will be fine. Please try and enjoy your senior year - forget about where your friends are saying they are going. When the FA comes in, a lot of them will end up at different schools than they expected.
The most important thing is that you should never let some anonymous admissions officer who never met you have any say in determining your self-worth.
The second most important thing is that you should not compare yourself to others.
The third thing is that all of the schools you applied to are excellent and each of them can provide a great college experience and get you where you want to go in life. Whatever school you end up at, go there proudly, go with a great attitude, and make the most of what the school offers. To a large degree, college is what you make it.
(FWIW many of my D’s friends went to Ivy and equivalent schools and she went to a very nice LAC, but a school which was not quite as highly ranked – and now that they have all graduated my D probably had the happiest 4 years, would not trade the experience at her LAC for anything in the world, and she is in a fantastic grad school in her field).
Dig down deep and BELIEVE. Hang in there. It will happen. Talk to your Guidance or College Counselor asap. Let them tell you there’s a college for everyone. It’s always darkest before dawn…I know this waiting is excruciating, but you too will look back on this someday and be in a much better spot.
Are you in a competitive major? A friend of my daughter is applying under computer science and it’s seriously knocked him down two tiers on the schools he can get into. He didn’t realize it, but his safeties are actually his reach and target schools because of his major. If he’d applied under english literature of philosophy or something, he could go almost anywhere. It’s no commentary on him as a person, it’s just the state of affairs, and I’m sure that’s the case for you too.
Last year a girl at my school had applied to four excellent schools, was top of her class, and was rejected from three. She was rejected from her safety and the two Canadian schools she had wished to attend and was accepted to Columbia. The only school that accepted her was an amazing school. You have yet to hear from amazing schools as well you’re going to be fine!
I got rejected from my top choice Uchicago today as well. Oh well! This thread has made me feel a lot better and I’m going to wait for for rejections (and hopefully an acceptance) to come.
Yes, you have to wait it out. But don’t do it alone. Get your guidance counselor to sit with you. Even if you get rejected by all, there are still colleges that have open spots and your GC should be able to help put your mind at ease or you can consider a gap year which many students take.
I’m sorry @bubblepop12444. I believe everything happens for a reason so keep the faith. Your path will lead you to one of the schools on your list or it may lead you to something you haven’t even explored yet. If, by chance, you are not accepted to a school you would be happy and excited to attend, would you consider a gap year? Or maybe cast the net wider because there may be great options out there that you hadn’t considered? You are entitled to feel disappointed but don’t tear yourself down. It’s just a bump in the road. Hang in there.
I am so sorry and I feel your pain. My D17 was outright rejected from a school that everyone felt was a match and she felt would be a great fit. Her best friend with much lower scores, gpa, ECs was deferred and another friend was accepted. The rejection was a horrible feeling and she is still working through it. Additionally she was accepted to some schools but not offered the merit $ to make it work. As she read here on CC about others with lower stats receiving much much more money it become very hard and felt very personal. She concluded that she wasn’t good enough and she didn’t stand out. It was much easier to feel that your stats just didn’t measure up - very cut and dry – but when your stats are above their range and you get rejected it is hard not to take it as a reflection of who you are as a person. This whole process is so hard and it is magnified by this age of information where you can see so much data about who made it and who did not.
Hang in there. There is so much to look forward to and you will stand out and shine where you were meant to be. Try not to compare yourself and your choices to others (I know it is hard!) Stop stalking the threads of the schools that have missed the opportunity to enroll you - they are not worth your time or worry. School is a part of the journey-- it is not the destination.
Cheer up, you will be just fine. Trust me, you will be happier where you go.
No big deal about rejections. Two years ago my daughter (CA resident) was in the same boat as you and she had 50% rejections. UCs she applied to (UCLA, UCSB) rejected her - she had to go to CC. UCSB was her real backup (CSU Northride was plan D), but that rejection devastated her. She was very disappointed like you. But guess what UB (Buffalo) and Clarkson admitted her with aid (actually both came in at least the same as UC or better in costs). I told her those are excellent schools for her caliber and she should real feel good. I even took her to upstate NY just to show how good these schools were. Did not send her there (family decision, we thought too young to be 2500+ mi away)That did perk her up though and she started on plan D for fall sem but moved over to CC in spring (better class availability).
Personally though, we would stay away from UC Merced or even Riverside. But that is a personal choice.