Rejection

<p>So, lately my worry hasn't been waiting for the decision anymore. It's been the fact that I'm almost certain I won't get in. If I just had to deal with it myself, I think I could get over it. But the problem is all of these people who have been saying "I'm sure you'll get in," "There's no doubt you'll be accepted," all along. If I don't get in, I can't even imagine what they'll say. Nobody goes from "I'm sure you'll get in" to "Oh well, I'm sorry," so quickly. </p>

<p>Deferral is even worse. If I get deferred, then it's pretty much a rejection. And I know I'll be pretty sad but the same people will just say "well you've got a chance next time, you'll definitely get in then" and then I'll be stuck with the scenario I had above for three more months. </p>

<p>Can anybody who has been rejected, or who is facing this kind of situation now and knows how to deal with it, tell me how those confident people reacted when you didn't get in?</p>

<p>Achievers carry the invisible burden of always having to maintain perfection. When you succeed,regardless of how difficult a task or how much effort you had to put in, no one is surprised because it's "expected" of you. People take it for granted that you would and should succeed anyway. What is "newsworthy" to others is when you don't succeed. You need to know that you are the SAME person whether you get accepted or rejected. After all, your GPA, SAT scores, EC accomplishments,...etc. all remain the same, don't they? Do not let the outcome of the college application process determine your self-worth. After all, many things are totally out of your control when it comes to applying to a top Ivy like Yale. You've done your best and let the chips fall where they may. You will end up at a school that's meant for you. Who knows? It just might be Yale after all !!</p>

<p>Beautiful, beautiful post RODS1990. I just witnessed a fellow parent telling a wonderful kid "oh, you'll get in" when the girl expressed the same doubts anyone would have. Your response sums up the situation and is very hopeful.</p>

<p>What I hate is that there are 8 people applying early to Yale from my school of 200. The counselor said I was the most qualified out of all of them, but imagine if I got rejected and one of the others got in? That would be humiliating.</p>

<p>dont be humiliated.. you are not applying to Yale for anyone but yourself, and it not your fault that the people you talk to are rather unaware of the incredible long shot you are taking when you put yourself out there in such a big applicant pool with such a small admit rate...sometimes the really qualified just dont get in...
i totally get what you are going through and its the same for me ..</p>

<p>There are 25 kids from my son's school applying early to Yale. Obviously, they all can't get in and it doesn't mean that they won't get into some other great school or that they weren't qualified -- it's just the numbers. Just make sure the people who know you're applying to Yale realize that it's not like years ago when anyone with your stats would have been admitted. With a less than 10% acceptance rate it's not about your qualifications alone, it's about building a freshman class. That should help keep expectations low (and reasonable) -- most kids who are technically qualified will not get in. Something I did to try and calm myself about this process (and keep in mind, I'm a parent -- when I applied to college the only thing I had to worry about was correct postage on the envelope) is to look at the SCEA '10 discussion, then look at those who were rejected or deferred and see where they ended up. They all ended up going to terrific schools, so it really will be all right in the end.</p>

<p>Life is short. There are ups and downs, and there are no constants. Life is dynanmic and changes. Last year at this time my son was on top of the world--football state champion--great two sport athlete--high honor student-in the top 2% of his class-things were going well. Then he was diagnosed with cancer. Lost his physical strength, lost all the things that were near and dear to him. However, he never lost hope. Instead he took the few things he had left in his life and reinvented himself. He has fought through the intense chemotherapy, found a way to maintain his grades while being out of school for six months and still achieve high honors. Re-invented himself as an athlete and continued to participate, returned to school in the fall for his last year while still taking chemotherapy and continued to achieve high honors. As he said, "If the worst thing that happens is being rejected from Yale this year, then I'm goning to have a great life." Keep everything in perspective-don't despair-move on and accept change--and enjoy every day that you have. You have accomplished so much already.</p>

<p>God it's going to be so weird when 30 days are past...it'll be weird to see Username Accepted, Deferred, or Rejected...eek. Good luck to everyone! I've learned some of your stats over the years and I'll be really surprised if some of you don't get in. I'm watching you! Just kidding of course :D</p>

<p>aberdeen, I completely agree. The fact that I'm even in a position to apply to Yale (meaning I've had a lot of opportunity and education) is pretty astounding in and of itself. </p>

<p>Your son sounds like an amazing person. Best of luck to him:)</p>

<p>Abderdeen, thank you for that inspiring email. Hopefully your son is well now. Where did he wind up going to school?</p>

<p>Sorry, I mean post</p>

<p>Wow, aberdeen, thanks for that! Applying to Yale is the biggest anxiety in my little life</p>

<p>A lot of people have it dead on. I am a senior this year, and I did not even consider applying to Yale because I knew I did not have the grades to be considered, and I consider myself a very smart individual. You guys should feel honored that people think you are deserving of a spot at a top tier school like Yale, and know that it is not the end of the world if you don't get in. There are plenty of colleges that will want you.</p>

<p>True story: The "valedictorian" (we don't call it that, but it is the equivalent) at my school (a top prep school in the nation) applied to Harvard, Princeton, Stanford and Yale as his top 4 schools. Harvard- Accepted, Princeton- Accepted and attending, Stanford- Accepted, Yale-Rejected. Our saludatorian (the equivalent, again) Applied to Stanford and Yale as her top schools. Stanford- Accepted and attending, Yale-Rejected. It is very very hard to get into these schools. Be proud of the fact that you have done so well in your lives already and are destined for great things.</p>

<p>Ok a deferral is NOT a rejection!!! I know about 20 students at Yale, pretty much randomly, and at least 5 or 6 of them were deferred and then accepted! The overall acceptance rate in the regular pool is 8% or something, while the acceptance rate for deferred applicants is something like 15%. So even if you do get deferred, there's still a greater shot that you'll get in RD than you would if you hadn't applied early!!!</p>

<p>All that happened to him happened during the second half of his junior year last year. He is a senior this year and a one of a kind individual. He will continue chemo for another year and a half. I am proud of his will to be well and live.</p>

<p>Thank you for sharing that story Aberdeen. He sounds like a very extraordinary person.</p>