<p>Just checking in to see how the talk turned out ...</p>
<p>Sounds to me like the relationship is sick. For whatever reason, things aren't working like they used to, or like they should. </p>
<p>I was in a similar situation, though my problems weren't the same: it was a long relationship (1 year) but it wasn't right anymore. So I got out. It sucked for a while, but then I got better. The first week is the worst. In the end, it was absolutely the right thing to do. I should have done it sooner.</p>
<p>If you two can't find the time to be together, it isn't fair to either of you to continue to be in a relationship.</p>
<p>Also, considering his apparent emotional unavailability, I would suggest you try to break it off. Though there has to be SOME slack for the guy - he IS stressed, after all - that can only go so far. If he's been repetitively ignoring your clear requests for some comfort and sympathy, then he's not worth it, and it won't work in the long run.</p>
<p>My suggestion? Break it off, make it clear to him why, and try to focus on yourself for a bit. You'll feel very relieved, I can promise you (speaking from personal experience). Sometimes, it's just not the right time for these things. Senior year may be one of those times for you. =/ <em>hug</em> I hope things get better for you - keep us updated!</p>
<p>-Kam</p>
<p>So it didn't go as badly as I thought it would. Before school, we sat down in the hallway. I even dressed nicely for the occasion, just to give myself a boost of confidence. If I didn't sound good, at least I looked good! (Lol.)</p>
<p>I started off saying that I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but I thought that we should take a break. He kind of hesitated, but then nodded and said "sure". I think he was relieved that I didn't say that we should break up. I explained a little further that I felt he and I needed some space and some time to concentrate on school. I also told him that I was telling him this so he wouldn't be confused about me not calling him, seeing him after classes/school, etc.</p>
<p>He said that instead of completely ignoring each other, we should just act like friends. I agreed. I think it would make things too complicated to try and avoid each other like crazy.</p>
<p>Sooo it felt weird today. I didn't see him much. I walked by him, we smiled, and I walked to class. Usually we stop and hug and talk and blah. I felt...independent? Kind of felt good, empowering.</p>
<p>I think I might just make a list of pros and cons. Might as well, huh?</p>
<p>Sorry, friedrice! I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I have been very lucky to have had such a wonderful relationship, and at the moment I am trying to decide how to keep it in the state it was.</p>
<p>Thanks! :D</p>
<p>Well, congrats on making it through The Talk!</p>
<p>It can only get better from here! ^_^v</p>
<p>Thanks. :) Hah, he thought I was going to cry. I was merely being serious; crying would have given him the advantage. So no way!</p>
<p>So it's easy for me to give one side of an individual online, especially a boyfriend I am having trouble with. So here is a list of pros and cons.</p>
<p>Pros:
~He is confident, self assured (not afraid to put my girly stuffed animals in his car or hold my hand)
~Dances with me
~Practical, down to earth
~Loyal to friends, family, me
~Motivated (black belt in karate, IB Diploma)
~Intelligent
~Share friends
~Easy to talk to
~Has been with me for more than a year
~I get along well with his parents
~He gets along well with my parents
~Has cute asian eyes...:]
~Writes poetry for me, makes cd mixes, sends cute text messages...</p>
<p>Cons:
~Poetry/flowers/cd mixes have stopped recently
~Not good at comforting me when I'm upset
~Different political view than me (not too much of a problem yet)
~Does not want to hang out anymore
~Has not told me he has loved me in a while
~Does not take me seriously when I am upset</p>
<p>Dunno...we shall see after the semester ends. I was thinking of asking him to our Winter Tolo dance, maybe with a group of friends for fun.</p>
<p>Thanks for the update. I'm glad the talk went well.</p>
<p>The relationship doesn't have to be all or nothing. Going to the dance together sounds like a great idea. He sounds like a wonderful friend but just not able to maintain a romantic relationship right now with all that entails. All of the things in the "pro" category can still be part of a friendship, right?</p>
<p>And now, this 45yo mom leaves the high school board!!! : )</p>
<p>I concur with friedrice.</p>
<p>But I would say not. Although most would argue that the pro/con thing doesn't work, there are just too many pros. I'm a guy, so I can't elaborate on why I say this, mostly because I don't know.</p>
<p>It seems like the cons are mostly that the pros have stopped showing themselves recently.</p>
<p>I guess it really comes down to a matter of time. None of us can help now; you just need to wait and see how you both feel in a while.</p>
<p>Okay...wow. Weird.</p>
<p>I did it. I broke up with him. I told him that I thought we had a wonderful relationship, but I thought we should break up. He was blowing his nose as I was saying it (yay I have awesome timing) so then I started laughing. He didn't take it personally, though, just kind of apologized for blowing his nose while I was telling him something important.</p>
<p>Then we just kind of talked. He asked me why, and I said that it was because I felt it was right.</p>
<p>Break ups are so weird. It's like you have to emotionally disconnect yourself from the person, but physically you can't? I don't mean this in a sexual way--while I was talking with him, I was rubbing one of his hands because it was really cold, which I always used to do when I was his gf. It's going to be weird to have to get over the fact that you I can't run up to him in the hallway anymore and give him giant hugs...</p>
<p>I keep telling myself that it'll be good for me to be a independent for a while. I've been dating somebody for so long that I've forgotten what it's like to be single. It'll be nice to be able to focus on my friends and school.</p>
<p>I decided to break up with him because everyone is right. High school relationships aren't supposed to last forever. I'm still young and I have years ahead of me.</p>
<p>The only regret I have is that my marvelous dream of prom has been shattered. Oh well, at least I still have my pretty dress.</p>
<p>^^ Like I said, I'm going through basically the same thing. </p>
<p>He told me last night that we were breaking up, but I begged him to at least reconsider now that I'm on antidepression meds and to rethink it until my bday on Saturday. </p>
<p>Today I know he decided to break-up, so now I'm trying to make the best of it until then. </p>
<p>I really hate break-ups.</p>
<p>Amen. The next two months or so are going to be a heck of a ride. Especially Valentine's Day. Ugh. I'm sorry about your break up, too. But you'll be probably better off without him, since he doesn't seem very sympathetic of your needs.</p>
<p>I hate this doubt...now I'm wondering if I should have just sat through it all and waited for him to not be so busy with school work? Oh boy. I hope I didn't jump the gun.</p>
<p>No , you did the right thing and a lot can change between now and your prom. At the very least, go with a platonic friend and just have a good time with no expectations.
Don't let the greeting card company created Valentine Day holiday put pressure of presumed romance on you. It is just another day. Your birthday can be the milestone of the last one in high school with your family and close friends, not temporay boyfriend. Enjoy your senior year, make the most of these days without a boyfriend shaping the events for you. Next year will be a huge milestone in your lives that will make this year seem to pale in comparison when you relate it to what you are experiencing now in terms of relationship difficulties.</p>
<p>It is a big world and it is calling you to join in with all that it has to offer you.
Make the best of it !
BTW, you seem to be a very strong and self assured young lady and I have to give you a lot of credit for that.</p>
<p>Thank you for your reassuring words, lje62. It helps that I went through a major break up last year, so I have an idea of what I'm in for (what a treat!). Yes, now I can boycott Valentine's Day with all my single friends.</p>
<p>Haha the blowing his nose thing is so funny/sad... I don't know, guys can be insensitive jerks sometimes, so in the meantime, enjoy being single, and I think you did the right thing. Maybe he'll realize what he's missing now :)</p>
<p>Yeah, I just experienced a similar thing. My bf of almost 10 months and I formally broke up a couple of weeks ago, though we've been on and off since Thanksgiving. It was, however, his choice to make (said he just didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, nothing personal), and I have to deal with it.</p>
<p>The fact that he was and is my best friend just makes it really difficult to know the new unwritten limits, though. I can still hug him, sure, but how long is too long now? How close can I stay to him, physically and emotionally, after this?
But who else can I turn to if I want or need help, or just someone to talk to?</p>
<p>It's just a matter of time. I don't know, I've been having a rough time dealing with this for a few weeks so this is more a personal rant than advice, but...Time will, in this case, help to heal the wound.</p>
<p>That's tough, teenage_cliche. I know that for me it's going to feel the exact same way. After more than a year of being able to hug/kiss a specific somebody, it's going to feel mighty weird to have to remind myself of social boundaries. At the same time, though, I know it's going to be tough for him, too. He'll no longer be able to compliment me on a cute shirt without sounding like a creep xD ahaha.</p>
<p>He's a nice guy, though, so I think we'll be able to be friends. It's good that you can still be friends with your ex, too. It'll take some time, but that's what being preoccupied with other things is for, after all.</p>
<p>Most high school relationships don't last anyways. You might as well (though it may not be the best option.)</p>
<p>Edit: I guess you beat me to my suggestion. Oh well, congrats on being single? At least you'll have plenty of time for relationships in college. :)</p>