<p>Hey yall, here is the deal. I am a sophomore in college, and I am no stranger to socializing. I really dont have any problems talking to girls, in fact I am in a fraternity, Im fairly good looking, and I actually have a ton of friends that are girls. My problem is that I cant find a way to get close with any of them. I always seem to get stuck with small talk - Hey, how have you been? Thats cool. What did you do last weekend? Oh really? so on and so forth. </p>
<p>I guess my question is how can I close the gap? What kinds of things to girls like to hear that will let them know that i am interested without me seeming desperate or creepy?</p>
<p>I want to be someone that a girl would want to get to know better. Its not that im itching for a relationship, but I do want to date around a little bit.</p>
<p>then ask them out. You won’t know a girl much if you’re just saying hi in passing, take a minute to talk to them. Invite them to something that’s going on (e.g.: “hey! my friends are coming over for drinks, you wanna come?”, “I’m going to lunch with blahblah you wanna come?”) … maybe the first time you guys won’t be alone but you’ll get to know her a lot better than if you were just standing and having small talk. Then you can get her number… add her on FB… and maybe ask her for lunch or coffee (just the two of you) see how it goes and then ask her to go on a date if all went well!
I think it’s much better to go to lunch casually with someone before you wanna ask them out, because it allows you to test the waters and see if she likes you strictly as a friend, or she seems interested, or there’s a spark or whatever.</p>
<p>I agree with the above poster. You won’t ever find out if you even have any common interests if you just small talk, you have to bring it further than that. If a guy just made small talk with me but never made any effort to learn more about me, or never was giving enough of himself to let me get to know things about him, I’d just assume he wasn’t interested.</p>
<p>I have a friends just like you…has all the girl friends in the world and they all love the guy…problem is they all like him like he’s their brother.</p>
<p>What you have to do is, when you come up and are making small talk, get more into depth about the things you’re talking about. Ask the girl’s opinion. For example, you’re like, “how’s school?” and she’s like, “okay but my my chem class sucks,” and you’re like, “oh, so are you not really a science person?” and from there you can get into her interests and plans and stuff and get talking about yourself more. That’s just a dumb example but it’s the type of thing you have to do if you want to break out of the small talk.</p>
<p>grow some balls and be obvious about it. The girl will let you know if she’s not interested. I’m tired of guys dodging around the issue -_- I’m like just come straight up and ask dammit</p>
Let’s grab some lunch -> Let’s get some dinner -> Would you like to go out to dinner with me</p>
<p>Seriously, I’d be so good at this if I were a guy.
[/quote]
A girl can say those things, too. I’m not gonna be a jerk and bring up your post from the “never been kissed” thread, but if it’s that easy you should try it yourself.</p>
<p>If you are talking to them, and the conversation seems to dry up, come in with a random, slightly off-topic question, for example, something about sports. If she says she is not into them, make a self-deprecating joke about how you are rubbish at them etc. If she laughs (properly, not just in a sympathetic way) You’re In! Don’t feel self conscious, you could switch topic to almost anything, and still get away with it. Just don’t talk about Masturbation of World of Warcraft, neither will do you any favours.</p>
<p>Not too sure on how you may do it there, but here in GB, [I’m sure it’s not that different lol] - You meet a girl, you talk, you ask to go to lunch/tea with you and your mates, she’s keen, you go and get into conversation, take it from there mate. :)</p>
<p>Just wondering.
got to let’s grab lunch -> let’s go watch a movie this weekend
no contact.
what the heck? then I see him again and he’s like “i was at my band practice entire weekend.”
urrr… I guess he’s just friendly. -_-</p>
<p>I do. Lunch and dinner, yes, but as a girl who has never dated before, it just doesn’t hit it to think that I would have to ask someone out instead of being asked out for the very first date.</p>
Lunch and dinner, yes, but as a girl who has never dated before, it just doesn’t hit it to think that I would have to ask someone out instead of being asked out for the very first date.</p>