<p>Does anyone have a child who is reluctant to board? </p>
<p>Son is excited and happy about acceptance and ok to leave / change schools. </p>
<p>However, making the leap to leave home/family is something he is not sure he wants to do.</p>
<p>I would love to hear from any parents who may have had this problem in past years and hear how their child did in the end.</p>
<p>My son was just saying that he wants to go but is very nervous about leaving home. He will be about 8 hours away so I won’t be able to visit often. </p>
<p>We were talking about using webcams to talk and let him see the dogs.</p>
<p>PA-C…almost as important to your son’s intellectual growth at Exeter will be the gradual self-confidence he will feel confronting his fear about surviving 24x7 with his peers, away from the warm embrace of home. Especially for a shy or socially awkward kid, it’s really scary. But, working through the fear is a crucial boarding school benefit.</p>
<p>Parlabane- have you known any kids who just didn’t make it? Had to come home due to not coping with being away ect…?</p>
<p>He’ll get through it if you act as a listener and a cheerleader. </p>
<p>A significant number of parents unintentionally set their children up to fail, with statements like “we’ll welcome home if you don’t like it” " or ending every conversation with “will pick you up if it is just too hard.” Instead, listen to their troubles and empathize and validate, steer the conversation to something positive and applaud their successes. Help them find the positive. </p>
<p>Far more students drop out due to poor time management and organization skills than the boarding aspect.</p>
<p>Debatemom- I feel for you - it’s so difficult encouraging them to do it without feeling like you are pushing them out the door- I want S to come to the decision on his own without my pushing him to board. I am hoping the revisit will solidify things for him. </p>
<p>If both our kids end up going maybe your son can visit our house- we live 1 hr away! :)</p>
<p>Pa-C
You will enjoy the best of both worlds with your son enrolled at Exeter as a ‘local boarder’.
We also live very close, and I can at least share with you how the first 2/3 of the year has gone.
First off, my son had no reluctance to board. But, that does not mean that once he got there he did not have second thoughts. Not enough to be a day student (we had a choice), but…just second thoughts about everything. It is all a big adjustment. He made some great friends quickly (happens easily when you live and work together 24 hours a day) and despite missing some things about home (not many, though!) he got into a decent groove. Despite some hiccups along the way, we kept a good ‘distance’ from him. Meaning, he spoke directly to his own teachers when help was needed or talked to older, more experienced students when logistical/practical issues cropped up. Only once did we intervene by having a meeting with his advisor. Ended up not being a big deal, and in the future would probably not be necessary. For example, he quickly realized we could not help him with directions to someone’s main office to turn in paperwork - but his proctor could. By solving his own problems, his sense of accomplishment and pride was
palpable. Was everyday Camp Happy? No. Were there times I wish he could come home from school and just relax with a blanket and a grilled cheese sandwich? Of course. But, now he is home for break and I see this wonderful, independent person who is profoundly grateful to have been given this opportunity to grow and mature surrounded by a challenging and supportive peer group. I don’t think (for him) the experience would have been as rich or transformative had he come home to roost every night.
He thinks that by knowing how close we are and technically he -could- come home any time, he does not need to act on it. However, we have had the pleasure of hosting his crew of friends at our house several times. They LOVE coming ‘home’ to us! Believe me, the parents of his friends that live a plane ride away are so grateful to have a local family that is able to be a safety net should the need arise. We have had the pleasure of meeting some of their parents, and I feel lucky to have these people in my life.</p>
<p>Beautiful post, Libby.</p>