repost from 2005: Your GC may be steering you wrong!

Parents Forum
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<p>I posted this story last spring about our experinces working with our <em>challenging</em> son and our high school's guidance dept. Our son is now in his second semester at Sarah Lawrence. He is doing very well and is loving college. I thought a repost of our story may be of value to some.....</p>

<p>repost:
I know much of the attention on these boards are about straight A students getting into IVy's and other well known colleges. But we discovered succcess is obtainable for the under achievers regardless of what you may be told by your GC</p>

<p>Guidance told my kid during his Sophmore year that he would never get into a 4 year college with an 83 average and that he should plan on attending a Tech school or a Community college. My son's reaction was then why bother with high school if he can't go to college? he wanted to drop out and play bass in a metal band. My wife being the brains of the family had him meet with admissions at a local 4 year college who informed him that an 83 would indeed get him into a 4 year college. They gave him a tour and let him attend a music composition class, he was hooked!. The college also informed him of a program where a HS student can take an intro course in certain subjects and receive graduation credit for it.</p>

<p>After fighting tooth and nail with the GC who said that college programs were for the "<em>serious students</em> on a college track" . My wife harrassed the school administrators till they agreed to allow him to take a philosophy intro course as an elective during his junior year. He aced the course and got an A on both his midterm and final along with a glowing letter of recommendation from the professor. ( my wife cries every time she reads it). GC's reaction was to ignore that success and instead taunt him on his weakness in Gym ( I swear I am not making this crap up) and hand him more brochures for community colleges.</p>

<p>During spring vacation that year we made the rounds of all of the colleges
he was interested in. while at one he saw a brochure for Harvard's summer school program.
We figured no way he would get in. He wrote the required essay and then ran into a brick wall because GC refused to recommend him( HVD requires an administrative and teacher rec), we did an end run around the GC and got the assistant principle to write the required adminstrative recommendation. To our surprise he got in and got A's in both courses , best of all he came home in August as an adult. Best money we ever spent .</p>

<p>September comes and he is riding high. Teachers who were throwing him out of thier classes two years ago are now stopping him in the hallway and offering to help him with college recommendations and advice on his essays. His confidence and GPA begins to rise.
He scores a 1200 on the SAT and does well on the SATII. Perhaps not the greatest scores to work with but we were finding some darn good colleges within his reach.</p>

<p>How about the GC? he sees the list of colleges my son is applying to and tells him no way will he get into any of them, that he is setting an unobtainable goal and should only apply to Community Colleges. The GC was not totally wrong. Our kid applied to 19 colleges and our son knew as well as we that he stood almost no chance of getting into 15 of them. Fortunately by this time our son had figured out that the GC was full of it and was just avoiding meeting with the GC</p>

<p>In mid March we had been on pins and needles since Feb 1. March 15 we get an acceptance letter from UC-Boulder. A collective sigh of relief followed a week later by acceptances from U-Vermont,and Bennington College. Friday April 1 rolls in and as we expected the thin letters start showing up, he opened 6 or 7 rejection letters that day. That was a tough weekend he knew it was coming but he was still devastated. Fortunately his friends were around that weekend and kept him distracted. Monday came and 5 more rejections and one acceptance.</p>

<p>After that tough weekend he pulled himself together and contacted the 5 colleges he received offers from, He arranged visits and interviews with professors and ultimately found a college that exceeded his expectations. it even is a so-called top 50 liberal arts college.</p>

<p>I don't know if the GC is incompetent,ill-informed, playing politics or just doesn't like kids with blue hair. But the point is that this is too important of a process to rely on what one person tells you . Do your own research The Princeton Review was fairly accurate for us ( except for some of the student descriptions) .</p>

<p>While we went to some extraordinary lengths with the Harvard summer school thing and the class at the local college, he would have likely gotten into 3 of the five that he was admitted to without the extra effort.</p>

<p>Finally If your kid isn't doing well or wants to quit take him/her to a college and have them talk to admissions and do a tour.maybe sit in on a class. It might convince them that suffering through High School is worth it after all</p>

<p>Best wishes
Bill</p>

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<p>Thanks so much for reposting this. My S is currently a sophomore and his situation is similar to your story. His test scores will imply brilliance but his gpa will cause concerns. I have thought about having him try some post-secondary classes next year---and I have a feeling he would enjoy the stimulation and challenge. We'll see. Great post.</p>

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<p>Wonderful story! It's been my experience that kids will either live up to, or down to, adult expectations. While the GC sounds misguided, at least you had the sense to explore options anyway. The sad thing is that this GC is probably still discouraging kids from reaching for a higher goal. Were you able to give any feedback to the administration of this school?</p>

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<p>A wonderful, moving story. I urge you to share it with your high school principal and school board. That counselor should be removed!</p>

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<p>If every student were an A student, As would be meaningless. A "B" average is perfectly respectable (there are plenty of C and D students, and some of them are college material, too). It is totally ridiculous for a guidance counselor to tell a B student they won't get into college. Lots of very bright people get Bs or even Cs in high school because they are going through adolescence and aren't serious about their studies at this point in life.</p>

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<p>Students respond to these sorts of GCs in many different ways. In the 1970's I went to a very blue collar high school where <10% kids went on to 4 year colleges, most to local small state U's. My brother, a B student, reacted much like your son. My parents, my dad a college graduate via a ROTC scholarship and my mom a high school graduate, didn't know any better so did nothing. He flunked out of our state U while living at home in the first quarter. Thankfully, her joined the Army, got his act and the GI Bill together, and earned his Bachelor's degree at age 24 after he finished his enlistment.</p>

<p>My younger sister and I were both told that our plans to attend college were just silly. Though we were both near the top of our >300 student class, girls just didn't go to college. I was told by my guidance counselor that I would be best off enrolling in a secretarial school, but if I insisted on wasting my money on college, I should do something "sensible". Whe I told her I wanted to be a doctor, she downright laughed in my face. Frankly, this just ticked both my sister and me off and made us more determined. When I got married shortly before my Med School graduation, I sent the guidance counselor a wedding invitation to the nuptials of Dr. XXX and Dr. XXX. At least she sent a card. Oh, and my sister graduated near the top of her law school class. </p>

<p>I'm just so disheartened to hear that this kind of garbage still goes on. And SO impressed at you and your wife's tenacity in getting your son what he desperately needed, BMoyilan...challenge and good teachers! Kudos to you both!</p>

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<p>"Our son is now in his second semester at Sarah Lawrence. He is doing very well and is loving college."</p>

<p>Glad to hear it, BMoyilan!</p>

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<p>Thank you for bringing this back - my son is half way through his freshman year of HS, and, frankly I'd be happy if he had an 83 average - I'm just thrilled his teachers liked him enough to give him an 80 average.
We are beginning to see some inkling of improvement, and he is on track to be an Eagle Scout, which in the long run may be more important than any high school grades he makes, his test scores on the PLAN and the PSAT were, not super, but better tahn average for his high school - I like to read these stories of success, lets me have hope for the future.</p>

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<p>Loved your post last year and love it even more this year!!! It really serves to remind us that parents are the best advocate a child can have.</p>

<p>Thank you Bill.</p>

<p>Kat</p>

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<p>Then there are schools and their GCs who have a kid with NM, good test scores, etc. and either advise the kid that he is a shoe-in at Harvard or that State U. is the obvious choice. They could be right in a given case, but often they just have no clue.</p>

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<p>Same situation here a few years ago! Big public suburban school GC told my S and I that he’d “be lucky to get into big state U” and that he’d better “buckle down” if he didn’t want to “end up in community college”. He was crushed and wanted to just quit trying to do well. The next year when I brought her his letter of acceptance to Georgetown University she read it, scowled, and said, “Huhm?” No “Great.” No “Congratulations”. Just “huhm”. She seemed confused.</p>

<p>This year my D had a different GC at the same school who was more supportive of her goals despite identical SAT and similar GPA as her older brother. When she was accepted early to Vanderbilt, the GC paraded her around the Student Services office and made a fuss. A lot better than a scowl and a “huhm”!</p>

<p>Bottom line…don’t expect your GC to necessarily know what your child’s Reach/Match/Safety list should look like. Do your own homework. They may be way under or over shooting.</p>

<p>Good luck to all the up and coming kiddos and their parents. I’m so relieved it’s over for our family!</p>

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<p>In my child's school, there is a graduating class of over 1000. there are about 6 guidance counselors. you send in the applications, and they attach their "letters of recommendation" et all. The reality is they have no idea who they are recommending for what, or what their strengths are. It's absolutely ridiculous. Along with the other problems we have had with this community sized high school, and more being built daily, I have started a letter writing campaign to limit the amount of students allowed in one high school. my daughters school has a full time police officer, but the crime rate is high, cars vandalized, kids tormented, offered drugs daily, it's awful. at least in the small school my daughter started in,l there wasn't much to offer, no AP courses etc, but you knew every kid and you knew what was going on.</p>