<p>First of all, let me say how grateful I am at the comments and insights. There were so many things posted that made me think of things in new ways. This forum is amazing, and I can’t say how much all the advice has meant to me.</p>
<p>As I mentioned, my H and I talked with our S last night. He is still convinced that he isn’t a good fit for his current school, but he agreed to do the following:
–talk to his academic advisor there about whether this is a good major for him, whether he could take a leave of absence, etc. We have encouraged our S to be brutally honest with his advisor about the challenges he is facing in his major, etc
–talk to a counselor about his feelings of loneliness and depression, especially after the breakup</p>
<p>My S continues to emphasize that he isn’t quitting school, he just needs a year to figure out exactly what he wants, and a year at the community college will really help. Like others, my concern is that the CA budget mess here is so terrible, that getting the courses he needs will be quite a challenge. I like the idea of enrolling for a summer course and getting a feel for it. Our challenge is that the UC spring Q ends just a few days after the summer session at the community college starts.</p>
<p>My S is convinced that he will be better off right now with his friends from HS that ‘know him’. He will only be convinced that one can’t go back in time with HS friendships by spending some time here this summer and seeing how even these friends have moved on some to their new lives.</p>
<p>I think there is some truth to the fact that his long-distance relationship with his GF affected his ability to make friends at school. He definitely spent lots of time skyping with her.</p>
<p>However, it is a fact that he was in the ‘engineering dorm’ (it’s structured as a learning community), and in reality, my S really is not the typical engineer. If you saw him, you would not see him as an engineer, with his long hair, piercings, etc. He likes engineering because he loves to create, and to build, and he is fascinated by how things work. But he has said he also dreams of becoming a pilot.</p>
<p>I have a business trip in that area next week, and I may try to find some time to see him. Or it may just be a good idea to wait until he comes home in a month. </p>
<p>Everyone is right that this is his decision. We may be financing his education, but it is ultimately his future. We are concentrating on just giving him the love and support he needs right now, as I know this is a big decision for him. </p>
<p>If there is more advice, I’d love to hear it!</p>