<p>Seahorses, I think the issue is depression.</p>
<p>Depression from choices he made. He is unhappy as he never fit into this school, but he spent much. time focused on high school girlfriend. He choice a major he may not be suited for. </p>
<p>I am just saying if every school let kids off the hock for break up and choices made, and non serious issues</p>
<p>He is focused on his high school relationships and never moved on really.</p>
<p>If this was a girl, would we say, eh leave school because of a broken heart</p>
<p>All of that may be true. It doesn’t mean he’s not depressed, and that’s what needs to be dealt with at this point.</p>
<p>I’m not saying he should drop out; I really don’t know how the OP should proceed. But I don’t think that “Just get over it” is necessarily the best approach.</p>
<p>OP, I would send him back but have an appointment with the counseling center set up. I would drive him or get a plane ticket rather than a lonely long bus ride. If he goes back and does not pass his classes, then you are in the same position as if you withdraw him from the semester. Seahorses is right in that kids need to learn how to weather the storm of break-ups, but counseling, care, and support is often needed.</p>
<p>Being distraught at a breakup may also be a sign of underlying depression. Likely OP’s son is upset about BOTH the breakup, and a “bad fit” regarding college and major. Engineers tend to have a distinct personality, and engineering majors are among hardest majors with highest “change major” rates. Perhaps your son realizes that he’s not “engineer material” - no shame in that discovery, and prudent that it happens before he graduates and hates the profession, or drops out of college w/o “plan B”. Sounds like he needs your resound emotional support, and the advice to put all these issues on-hold until finals and semester are over, and then spend summer addressing those issues in serious discussion w/both psychological counseling (to screen for depression) as well as some career assessment/research to decide where to go from here. Let him know that all these issues are relevant and IMPORTANT, but he needs to salvage the semester as best posssible, whether with incompletes or actual completion of his classes.</p>
<p>Can a parent go back with him, and even perhaps stay with him in a motel rather than returning him full-time to dorm to provide emotional support until semester is over or he calms down? I’m assuming this is another week or so. It’s time to provide a little “helicoptering” to get him through this rough patch. I think Seahorse is being a little harsh without knowning the parties personally.</p>
<p>Crizello, about 10 years ago, my dear friend went through this with her son. Two weeks left and he wanted to quit. His dad went to the college and stayed at a hotel and basically got him through what was left of the semester since the term was salvageable. A lot of head shaking about that, but otherwise it was a $25K semester down the drain. He did transfer to a CC after a gap year, and it did take him many more years to get his degree. He had burned out academically, lost interest. But he did have those 8 courses solidly in place for freshman year, which made a huge difference in at least getting him an AA and a running start for him to limp to the finish line for a degree.</p>
<p>This son needs to talk to the Dean of Students and his advisor ASAP. They will tell him how to deal with this semester…whether incompletes are possible, or whether he will have to withdraw (you can do so at any time but this would be a withdrawal that would indicate he did not pass the courses).</p>
<p>I understand wanting to be supportive to the OP, but as of right now, the young man is not diagnosed with anything the would allow a medical leave or even an incomplete. We, as anonymous internet posters, can’t diagnose him, and may be about as accurate as county fair fortune tellers in our guesses. In all honesty, as an instructor, I would personally not give an incomplete for a bad breakup, and that’s all you’ve got to go on right now. </p>
<p>So, OP, do what needs to be done with your son in order to salvage whatever you can of the semester. If you feel you can go up there, essentially babysit him, and get him through, do it. Walk him to the counselor’s office. Walk him to class. If you can’t be there, do what you can via technology. You can talk to his school. You may or may not get anywhere without proper documentation, which you may or may not be able to get in the new couple of weeks.</p>