<p>So I'm a male sophomore RA. One of my residents an I like each other and have talked about it in pretty great depth. However, there's rules against us dating, so we can't be "official."</p>
<p>I'm willing to risk it all for her...I really like her. But she's worried about my job and my reputation. We're going to try to secretly "date," but do you think it could work out? How long before people find out?</p>
<p>I was already very close friends with her and her roommate before this all started, so everyone on the floor already knows I spend a lot of time with her.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t do it, personally. “I’m willing to risk it all for her.” “But she’s…” <-That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.</p>
<p>Wait until the semester is over and she isn’t your resident. If she’s worth you risking your job for her, then she should be worth waiting for. It’s only a few months.</p>
<p>“Secretly” will last about one afternoon since she likely has a roommate on your hall and will be able to figure out pretty quickly where she is and what she’s doing.</p>
<p>Boy, control yourself and just wait a few months. It’s not like she’s gonna run anywhere and if she likes you as much as you like her, she’ll be able to wait too.</p>
<p>I’d say to stay friends until the end of the year and then you guys can be legit. You can go out on a couple of “dates” this coming semester to keep the spark alive…</p>
<p>Keep it discreet. No pictures of you two together on facebook, no PDAs, etc.</p>
<p>Just make sure you both deny everything if you’re ever questioned on it. There’s no way the university can “prove” that you’re in fact dating and not just hanging out, or studying together. </p>
<p>At my dorm last year, we had an RA dating a girl who lived on his floor. To fix the situation, she was moved into a neighboring dorm at winter break, but I don’t think there were any major consequences. We usually let her in if she was at the door, cause we all knew she was headed to hang out with her boyfriend. Probably depends on the rules at your school though.</p>
<p>This is a valid solution, have her request to move (if you can). Or you can follow Idra’s advice and just deny everything (in all seriousness though likely not worth risking your free room/board).</p>
<p>It’s not that big a deal. One of my friends had a one night stand with her RA and it never was an issue (aside from ensuing awkardness). Just be discreet about it, if she can switch to a neighboring dorm next semester do it, but don’t let something like your RA position stop you from having a relationship with a girl you are seriously interested in. Just make sure your door is closed when shenanigans are happening, and that no one walks in. People aren’t going to “turn you in” based off hearsay, just don’t aggravate your residents off unnecessarily/give them a reason to hate you and you’ll be fine.</p>