<p>OK–You intend to tell your BIL about future money that your wife plans on giving the girls (even though she has been asked not give money).</p>
<p>swdad1: I read your original Post #1 as meaning that you gave one niece $1500 and even though the parents specifically asked that their daughters not be given money, you were planning on continuing with the money gifts with niece number 2 who plans on attending the same college. Perhaps I misunderstood the situation. </p>
<p>You asked us what we would do if in your situation. Many on CC have given their answer to the question.</p>
<p>You admitted:</p>
<p>“I would not be happy of a friend or relative gave our son support to do something I didn’t agree with.”</p>
<p>Perhaps you have answered your own question. On the other hand, if you and your wife are passionate about continuing to give monetary gifts, you should consider informing BOTH parents–not just the BIL. </p>
<p>Different people have different perspectives. What one person feels is right may not be the same as what someone else feels is right. Do what you feel is the right thing to do.</p>