Returning after a failed or gap year...

<p>Mary</a> Lou Floyd: My $50,000 Learning Experience</p>

<p>Snipit:
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My daughter had been asked to "take a year off" by her college administration for the past fall and spring semesters. She actually failed only one course but her lack of attention to course requirements and response to her teachers and deans was more telling. She was drowning and didn't know how to ask for help. Was the school not right for her or did she need some maturing? Or had I gotten so caught up in the college acceptance frenzy that I had put unrealistic demands and expectations on her?

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<p>This is a great article, one that I plan to print out and save. To my mind, a lot of the fault in this story is the mom’s – since she was unable to “love the kid on the couch.” It sounds like she never really knew her daughter, but instead spent a lot of time trying to make her into something else. When the girl got to college, she finally rebelled. </p>

<p>This story sounds so familiar . . … My parents had my sister tutored from first grade (reading) through high school (Math, spanish, SAT, final exams) through college (more of the same), a college that they chose for her, along with choosing her major. When public elementary school, junior high and high school were too much, they put her in private school. When she began failing in college, they frequently flew down to her college and insisted on “meeting with her teachers” (a phrase that truly makes me cringe now that I am a professor). She, meanwhile, was drinking and partying.</p>

<p>I’m a few years older and I remember thinking how strange it was that I was studying abroad halfway across the world, finding internships and applying to grad schools and my parents didn’t know the names of any of my professors or even what courses I was taking, while they could name them all for my sister. It took my sister five and a half years to graduate and many years after that to start making good decisions about her life. She now has a job that she hates but few resources to retrain doing something else. Thanks mom and dad! </p>

<p>The girl in the article here will likely never start making good decisions on her own if her parents don’t back off. The fact that the mom is so good at blaming the school, her daughter’s “teachers”, and everyone except herself and her child is evidence that her family doesn’t seem to be very good at accepting the consequences of their actions.</p>

<p>Oy. There are many other issues here:

Then the student ran away at the age of 19, and they got police to help… I don’t even know how they did that since she was an adult.</p>

<p>It says a lot that the mother entitled the article “MY $50,000 learning experience” as opposed to “my DAUGHTER’S $50,000 learning experience”.</p>

<p>The issues in this story run much deeper than a failed year of college. The problems started well before.</p>

<p>Yowza. The author is excoriated in the comments section - and somewhat rightfully so. </p>

<p>“MY $50,000 learning experience” indeed.</p>

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<p>Haha, what do you expect? Notice WHERE that article was posted, and imagine the fabric of the audience of THAT site? It is just a step below the usual comments posted on the AOL site. </p>

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<p>Yes, indeed, **collage **must be the hardest six to eight years for the typical HuffPosters!</p>

<p>In our state, once you are 18, the cops will NOT get involved in finding you at parent’s request, even if they have concerns that you may be making VERY bad choices. A friend saw her D who was over 18 in the company of a known pimp but couldn’t get the cops to do ANYTHING, since the D was >18 and wasn’t requesting any assistance. Parents felt very helpless.</p>