reversal of roles - i am my own asian parent, i'm tired of this.

<p>most asian parents fight with their children because they want them to get good grades, play some form of an instrument, do SAT prep, play a sport, get into Harvard/Yale/Princeton/Ivy League college etc. and the child doesn’t want to do any of that.</p>

<p>i, in turn, am the one who has to fight with their parents for all that and actually want to do all that stuff and make something of myself. they always say no to summer schools, sat prep, enrichment classes, sports, piano, etc. and i always have to fight them to say yes. i'm getting tired of going through this cycle. on top of all this, they are also not the "chillax" parents either - i can't go anywhere with my friend or hang out and stuff. am i going to go nowhere in my life? is this my destiny?</p>

<p>i find this sad really of how my life has been nothing but a reversal of roles to the point where i would truthfully say that i wish i had those classic grade-obsessed, SAT-obsessed, college-obsessed asian parents. i wish my parents cared.</p>

<p>sorry, i really needed to let this out. :/ should i fight them? should i do tennis next year regardless of what they say that i wont' handle it next year? should i start on C++ programming? while being president of 3 clubs? </p>

<p>i hate being a teenager...</p>

<p>If you have a guidance counselor at school, it might be good to get him/her to talk to your parents about it or something.</p>

<p>@TRUFF:
I used to be in the same state of mind as you but right now I don’t think it’s that bad. You will be able to learn some essential skills that other people with the “classical Asian parents” can never ever be able to learn when they are still in high school.
We can’t change our parents so the only way we can be happy with our lives is to accept our parents as who they are. Think about it this way: Why don’t they care? It’s partially because they believe in you, believe that you have the potential of being independent at an early age and be self-driven.<br>
If you want to do something that is not life-threatening, then go for it. I’d avoid those high-cost activities unless you are making your own money.
PM me if you’d like more solace.</p>

<p>I can relate to you to a certain extent. My parents are those asian parents who wants their children to get into HYPMS and those top tier schools, but all they care about are my grades. They don’t even check up on my progress; they just see that last number on my transcript (my cumulative GPA). My parents are too poor and cheap to afford lessons and prep, so I just try to do everything for free, such as summer programs and do activities that would not cost too much for transportation/tuition/etc. When I asked for instrumental lessons, they said no. When I wanted to get a job, they said no. They tell that I should just focus on school/academics. My friends complain about having to take piano lessons, but they don’t realize that they’re actually really lucky. I wish my parents would allow me take piano lessons or hire a tutor for me to learn another language or something. I am actually the one who’s obsessed about everything and want to learn everything. That’s why I am one of those few asians who can’t play the piano, never had SAT prep, and probably won’t make it into one of those top top schools. All I have are the asian grades=(.
So, I can totally relate to you, Truff=)</p>

<p>Whoa. OP, you’re exactly like me! Parents never let me out of the house and yet they don’t actually give a shiz about any of my achievements (and at worst, mock and berate my dedication to school). I’m currently trying to fight my parents into letting me go to a HOBY leadership seminar which they have been refusing to let me attend ever since I won the essay contest at my school - only because it’s at Temple U (which is in a “bad” area of Philly, which they don’t want to drive me to or let me take the train by myself). I say persevere and continue to push yourself because in the end, your parents will just feel stupid that they didn’t more to motivate and help you attain that degree from HYP.</p>

<p>hahahahahahaha. I can relate to this so much. Unfortunately, I haven’t found any solution.</p>

<p>It can be rather frustrating when their limiting you in every way possible. And often times end up being hypocrites. I wish they’d take a clear stance >.></p>

<p>Right there with you. My parents didn’t really let me do any of that stuff. They thought I could do it all on my own, especially like prep classes and so on. I kind of took the situation into my own hands. I know it’s hard but I joined stuff at school that I was really into. I utilized lunches and before and after school to get help from teachers and other kids at school. I promise you, if you do it on your own, you will be better off. I mean hey, I am going to my dream school this coming fall. Do what you need to and in the end, your parents will realize how hard you have worked and they will be willing to start doing those things for you.</p>

<p>I know how you feel. I’m Asian and I failed for like all of my life until the 8th grade when I saw that other Asian kids had somebody to push them to succeed. Push yourself cause when you grow up you’ll know that you’re self made and that’s cool:) Do what you think is right for YOU. Maybe they’ll be proud of you when you do all that stuff. If they aren’t just don’t care bout it cause you’ll know they you achieved something and all of your friends we’ll envy your awesomeness. You are the only person that can make your life go somewhere:D</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Our campus is fine and you’re not going to get killed taking the train here. I’ve been taking the train to Temple for a long, long time. Your parents unfortunately have the typical suburban bubble mindset. Hopefully, after we’re down pouring over a billion dollars into our campus through 2020, that utterly absurd perception will change drastically.</p>

<p>Well, if you’re keeping up now with your parentally supported friends while your own parents inadvertently drag you down, you’ll be surpassing them in everything later on when none of you have your parents, just yourselves. :)</p>