Revise my Essay please? Supposedly, it sucks

<p>Can someone help me with my essay? If so, I'll PM you.</p>

<p>I need to know how to make it more concise becasue there is a word limit, and I need to know how to just make it a btter essay overall</p>

<p>thankss</p>

<p>I can read it for u if u PM to me.</p>

<p>anyone???</p>

<p>K–will review</p>

<p>who says? I’ll read.</p>