Revised for the 29th time,now I need some critique

College Essays
1

<p>Need some critique on.my.UC prompt 2 personal statement..
It Is not very" flowery", but I think it is o.k..... but not great
Harsh critique wanted!
Ill pm you</p>

2

<p>Sounds like fun. I’m in.</p>

3

<p>Ill read yours if you’ll read mine?</p>

4

<p>^I’ll read yours.</p>