<p>Omg that essay being like a women’s skirt is hilarious!</p>
<p>An old high school buddy of mine once said, “They say cheaters never win, but I’m doin’ okay.”</p>
<p>
Quoted for Lulz</p>
<p>We have a number of bad math jokes:</p>
<p>“Motherfunction!”</p>
<p>“Sine of a Base!”</p>
<p>“Shift!”</p>
<p>and my personal favorite</p>
<p>“Your log has no range.”</p>
<p>This took place in my friend’s class.</p>
<p>Teacher: <em>talking about profanity and derogatory terms</em>
Girl: <em>raises hand up</em> Well, you know, it depends on how you perceive it. I mean, like, some curses and words can be used as, like compliments. Like, sometimes, when my friend call me certain things, I don’t find them offensive. I think they’re nice.</p>
<ul>
<li>Whole class: awkward silence -</li>
</ul>
<p>I have a good one, but it’s pretty said that a kid does not know this.</p>
<p>Our teacher found this article that said that George Washington owes about $4,000 to a library for two books he never returned. Then this guy says “He should pay it since he’s still alive, right?” The most awkward moment ever in my history class.</p>
<p>One day, in my IB Spanish SL class, one of the boys walks in and his arm had been drawn on by his girlfriend. She rather blatantly wrote the word “pen!s” on his arm in sharpie. Some of us were commenting on it, and my young, metrosexual, Spanish teacher walks over to the gaggle of us and asks “Tienes peine? Tienes peine?” (Means Do you have pen!s? in Spanish)</p>
<p>I think I posted this before, but it’s too ridiculous not to share with more people. Someone once asked “What comes out of a fire hydrant?”</p>
<p>He was so serious about it.</p>
<p>My math teacher once said, “This is my fifth period today.” Of course, she was talking about school periods and not the other kind of periods…</p>
<p>Also, my music teacher has said some pretty weird stuff:
“It looks like you’re enjoying playing that G-string.” (Yes, she implied it in a dirty way)
“Pull it out!”
“Pull it out and put it in your mouth!”
“Stop screwing it!”
“Alright, we’re at measure 69 - your favorite number.” (She implied it in a dirty way as well)
And probably some other stuff that I can’t think of right now…</p>
<p>This isn’t high school related really, but when I told my manager at work that I got accepted to boston college, she asked me where it was.</p>
<p>Calculus teacher: so how’d you solve it?</p>
<h2>Kid: I dunno…just look at it logically</h2>
<p>(talking about how a Religious studies Harvard proffesor was fired for having porn on his computer)
AP Lang. Teacher: Well, think of it this way, it’d be weird if you found porn on my computer.</p>
<h2>Kid: Do you?</h2>
<p>(talking of passage in “higher laws” by Thoreau where he talks how savges stopped eating each other once they met civilized beings)</p>
<h2>AP Lang Teacher: That’s like “Hey <em>her name</em> coming, we better stop eating each other”</h2>
<p>(a kid texting under the desk)
Latin teacher: what do you have under there?
Kid: (holds cellphone closer to the very sensitive part down there) nothing
Latin teacher: that’s right</p>
<h2>whole class: oooooohhhhhhhhhh!</h2>
<p>AP Chem: That’s right the chemical reaction satisfy…</p>
<h2>Half of class: Satisfaction</h2>
<p>Today from this ridiculously sheltered republican kid in my Advanced English class:
“So El Dorado is in the city of Utopia right?”</p>
<p>AP Stats Teacher: You reject any P-Value under 0.05. If you can’t remember that, just remember that girls reject guys with small “P”-Values because they’re not “significant” enough for them.</p>
<p>Math teacher a few years ago: "STOP! (She was angry) and then all of a sudden she says “In the name of math!” in a singsong happy voice. Very weird…</p>
<p>My AP Lit class is frigging hilarious:
“You know what’s weird? There are, like, so many poems about life.”
“I’m burning. I feel like seafood.”
“Contractions? What? Aren’t those what you have when you’re pushing out babies?”</p>
<p>And my AP Bio class <3s our teacher:
Kid-“Hey, if we pass this class can we make you give us something?”
Teacher-“Uh, what do you guys want?”
Another Kid- “A thousand kisses.”</p>
<p>during school magazine EC:
kid1: Geez Christ, your handwriting sucks!!!
kid2: miaoowwww…
kid1: now you sound like a rabbit!</p>
<p>and at class:
kid1: I wonder where the school magazine gets those dumb comments from
kid2: duh. they just need to follow you for a day, and they’ll get 5 pages already!</p>