I feel bad for you @CathJR . I’m a parent and I have read several posts on CC in the last few weeks about roommate problems. It makes me upset that people can be so rude and hateful to each other. I really don’t get it. I may be an old fogey, but I think social media has a lot to do with this kind of poor social behavior. It has become normalized in the past decade to the point where people think it’s acceptable. I also think that a lot of students aren’t used to sharing rooms or spaces and are clueless about group living etiquette.
I don’t think ignoring them is the best option. You shouldn’t have to be subjected to that kind of rude and hurtful behavior in your own “home” especially for a whole semester or year. For Pete’s sake, you have the right to your privacy and you don’t need to tell people what you receive in the mail. Much less getting harassed and laughed at over something that you bought that was helpful for them.
I would suggest to find at time (perhaps right after they make a rude remark) to just address them calmly and say something like “I’m sorry if I offended you all or did something that made you decide to treat me the way you do, but I want you to know that the way you treat me is hurtful. We don’t have to be friends, but we do have to live together, so can we please just act like adults and be polite with each other?” If you do it in a non-confrontational manner, hopefully they’ll realize that they are behaving like middle school mean girls. I can see them denying that they have treated you badly, and then your could say “Well, maybe I’m being too sensitive, but that’s the way I feel so I thought I’d talk to you about it. I just want us to be able to live together and be comfortable with each other.” With this approach, you’re letting them know that you are not just going to let them continue to treat you badly. Sometimes in life you have to speak your mind and let people know that they can’t treat you like a doormat. I’m generally a shy person, and I’ve found that throughout my life, people have taken advantage of my quiet nature. Yet a few times in difficult situations, I’ve spoken up for myself and gotten good results.
I’m sorry - that’s all I’ve got. I wish you luck and agree with the others - this isn’t a you problem, it’s a them problem, so try not to take it personally.