Room With Highschool Classmate?

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - Los Angeles
1

<p>My highschool classmate who also is going to UCLA is asking if I want to room with him. I'm not sure if I want to say yes or not. He is a friend of mine and I think I can get along with him, but I've heard some advice somewhere that rooming with your old classmate is bad because you don't get to know a lot of people.</p>

<p>I wanted to hear some UCLA-specific advice so thats why I'm asking here. Anyone room with an old friend? How was it? I think at a big school at UCLA it might be good to room with an old friend so you have someone and aren't stuck being lonely. It also guarantees your aren't stuck with a weirdo/messy person (assuming you know your classmate is an upright person).</p>

<p>Do I have a preference? Not really - but he'd like to room with me and so would his parents I don't really mind - I initially think it would be fun and I'd be able to actually KNOW someone at UCLA that I would see very often (besides him there is basically no one in the UCLA Class of 2010 that I would know already).</p>

<p>So I'm asking for past experiences - is rooming with him a good idea or a bad one? Thanks.</p>

2

<p>if both of your living habits are in sync then i dont really see a problem as long as you both agree to certain ground rules and stuff. talk to eachother about your living and study habits, etc. and see if they clash.</p>

<p>you can be the best of friends right now but that doesnt mean that person will necessarily be a good roommate.</p>

3

<p>Don't do it...be open to new experiences and new people.</p>

4

<p>I'm certainly open to new experiences and new people - I don't like WANT to DEFINITELY room with my old classmate. Though I did have the problem in high school of only making friends with my old classmates and I always felt bad about that so I can see your advice here...</p>

<p>I guess it really isnt a problem if our living is in sync, but I after I check out the housing and maybe ask some students in person I'll know...its a tough choice...I want to meet new people yet have the comfort of having friends I belong to.</p>

5

<p>well look at it this way, you dont have to live with him to hang out/talk to the guy...</p>

6

<p>Rooming with a friend from HS is tough sometimes especially if personal habits are different. If your friend does something annoying, will you be able to confront him to tell him it bug you? Most bad experiences btwn HS friends rooming together happen because they are unable to express concerns and feelings about the little things that are annoying because they don't want to hurt the other's feelings. And when that happens - there's usually an unhappy roommate.</p>

7

<p>Well, go for it if you think it will work out. Just do keep in mind of the risk of not being friends after moving in together. There just might be things that are so aggitating about the other person that you didn't know about. If it's just a random person, you can just avoid them as much as possible and look forward until the year is over. Or do the paperwork to switch roommates. But that wouldn't work very well with friends though...</p>

<p>Perhaps, go separate ways the first year to get in the traditional college experience. Visit often and get to know his dorm lifestyle. Then consider being roommates the 2nd year.</p>

8

<p>I guess your right. The hard part would be telling him I wouldn't want to room with him if I decide to go that route. I think I can make it work but I guess the common consensus is to NOT to do it - thanks for the advice I'll consider it. The thing is we are good enough friends that if he ****es me off I can tell him - maybe I said high school classmate to vaguely, I'd be rooming with a friend AND classmate.</p>

9

<p>Don't do it... Rooming together with high school friends brings out the subtle annoyances of both people, which sometimes can't be revealed despite the friendship. Chances are that you won't be friends with him by the end of the freshman year. :rolleyes:</p>

10

<p>put my vote in the "bad idea" group.</p>

<p>HS students aren't used to sharing a room so if they do it with a stranger they are usually respectful of each other which makes it work out ok. You don't need to be friends at all with your roomate, its just a shared living situation. Of course many roomates do become good friends.</p>

<p>The problem with HS friends is three-fold. First since they already know you its easy to assume you'd be ok with stuff they would pause before doing with a stranger -- borrowing things, having people over at all hours, etc. This causes friction. </p>

<p>Second, when things bug you it turns out you're in a funny limbo; it can be easier to discuss things with a relative stranger since it can be neutral; you do A, I'd prefer you did B or C, can we work this out? It can be harder to raise issues with a HS friend since you already have ties, mutual friends, etc. And to be honest, how well do you REALLY know your friends? You might hang out daily, but at the end they go to their place and you go to yours. In the dorms, you're both going the same place. </p>

<p>Third, college is a time many people reinvent themselves. Most HS's are insular and you see the same people who you've known forever. In college you can break out of the mold everyone saw you in back in HS, but having a friend in your room who knew you one way and wants you to stay that way can cause trouble.</p>

<p>And to address 2 things you raised, most people are going into ucla not knowing many if any people; the first few weeks all the frosh are looking to meet people, and not having a HS roomate to fall back on is going to help you be motivated get out there and meet people.

[quote]
The hard part would be telling him I wouldn't want to room with him if I decide to go that route.

[/quote]
As for telling your friend, it doesn't have to be "I don't like you, I'm rooming with someone else". It can simply be you saying you want to experience a fresh start at ucla and you'll be of course seeing him around on the hill. And this actually should be a red flag for you; if its difficult to discuss where you want to live (and with whom), what about dicier conversations? If you think his girlfriend is spending too many nights? That you don't like his new drinking or drug habit in your room? While I'm not saying this will happen, it does often enough that you need to be able to know you'll bring it up instead of suffering in silence.</p>

11

<p>Eh, I agree. I wouldn't risk it. I'll share an experience I had:</p>

<p>I may not be a college student yet (class of 2010), but I did spend my summer at a college camp with a best friend of mine in high school. We lived in dorm-style rooms with one roommate, and naturally had intended on rooming together. Instead, the program already assigned different roommates, which ****ed us off.</p>

<p>But, to our surprise, it was actually better. I think that, even though it wasn't an insanely long amount of time, we would've started to annoy each other. And that would've put rifts in our friendship. I know it sounds stupid, but everyone needs time away from people, even the best of friends. Especially in those stressful times where we get snappy and unleash the claws.</p>

<p>I found that it was better to have a good friend somewhere nearby that I could hang out with, like escaping the dorm room. Sort of like, when you need to get away, you'll have somewhere and someone to get away to. And it's not like I never saw her. She was right down the hall and everyone had their doors open anyway.</p>

<p>In addition, you'll meet new people.</p>

<p>But enough of my ranting. I hope I helped.</p>