<p>how do me and my roommate set up rules for our room? im a pretty chill person bu there are some rules that just have to be enforced (for ex. no boys allowed in our room or pls ask for permission before using my stuff) ok im a "touchy feely" kind of person so i really dont like it when ppl touch my stuff.how do i tell her this without seeming rude and making a really bad first impression. thanks bumble</p>
<p>A lot of times, residence life gives you roommate surveys about a week into school where you can write down when you want quiet time, if overnight guests are allowed, what they can borrow, etc. </p>
<p>Here’s a tip on what NOT to do: one of my roommates walked in on the first day, looked at me, sneered, and said, “I know I look rich, but don’t steal my stuff.” Um, yeah. [BTW, she totally looked trashy.]</p>
<p>If there’s no roommate survey, then you can find one online and see if your roommate would be okay filling it out with you, or else just ask them, “Do you have any preference about borrowing stuff/guests/etc?” and then mention your requests. I think as long as everything is mutual, you won’t seem rude. :-)</p>
<p>This is a great question–communication is probably the most important aspect of a healthy roommate relationship. If you’re a nonconfrontational person (which I totally was when I had to have this kind of chat with my roommate) it can be a bit tougher, but it’s good practice. It’s important to lay the foundation so that when little things come up they’re not a big deal, and when big things come up you all already have the communication skills to handle them.</p>
<p>One way to do it is to just find a quiet moment in the first week of classes. Gently say, “do you mind if we just talk about some stuff for the year?” Don’t approach it as you setting rules, but instead, make it a thing where both you and your roommate are making each other’s expectations clear to the other person. I’m sure your roommate may have some “rules” too and she may be just as uncomfortable with talking to you as you are talking to her, so someone has to take the first step!</p>
<p>Whatever you do, PLEASE make sure to have this chat near the beginning of the semester. Otherwise, things can get awkward later on, and roommate tension can cause a lot of stress that you don’t need in your life.</p>
<p>I added both my roommates on facebook and sent a message out that all 3 of us could see with a survey I found online that asks some important questions, and also some questions that are just nice to know about the people you live with (like what kind of music they like). Of course, I filled it out to, and it worked pretty well.</p>
<p>no boys at all. that seems a little ridiculous. not even to hang out? you may need to compromise</p>
<p>My roommate and I agreed no boys after 11:30pm on weekdays, 2am on weekends. That worked out well for us. It had just been no male overnight guests, but then she just kept them there until 4am but didn’t go to sleep thinking it was a loophole.</p>
<p>Pick your battles, that is, address the biggies that concern you the most.
You can say" I’m very OCD about my things. Please don’t touch or borrow anything of mine and I won’t touch or borrow anything of yours."
“Hopefully this will cover having to tell you that it really bothers me when people use my things.”
That should take care of that topic.</p>