<p>I'm going to be going to college next year (if you were curious, it is UMass). Anyhow, I was wondering if I should room with a friend. I've talked to a number of people and all but one said I should just put it at random and have it sorted out. It's really a gamble, because my friend like me is not very outgoing and a little shy. I mean I could get lucky and get a cool guy and it could be those friends for life type of deals, but I could just as easily get an annoying piece of **** homo.</p>
<p>I really have no idea, I've known my friend since 7th grade when I first moved to this country and we're pretty chill. As I see it, the benefits outweigh the cost but as people say, you want the college experience.</p>
<p>Incite me as best you can. I really have a lot of questions up there, particularly with what to study...but I suppose I could make a new thread for that.</p>
<p>Benefits
- Known the guy for a while and pretty chill together
- I know he won't be annoying in terms of time, like sleep late or wake up extremely early
- We can split stuff we would want to bring
- It could really make the college transition easier with someone you really know well</p>
<p>Negatives
- You don't quite get the college experience
- My friend is basically shyer and less outgoing than me, and I don't know how this will play out</p>
<p>Don’t room with your friend. I’ve seen it happen, and it’s rarely worked. Even if he’s chill and awesome and you’ve known each other for years, you’ve never LIVED with each other, and living with someone brings out facets of their personality/lifestyle that you would have not otherwise known about. You say you know he won’t be annoying in terms of sleeping habits, but there’s definitely no guarantee that they’ll stay the same during the school year, depending on class times/social life/habits. You can split stuff to bring with any roommate, even one you don’t know. And if he’s going to the same school as you, the transition won’t be any more difficult. Everyone moving into the dorms is going through the exact same thing, and everyone is (usually) eager to get out and meet their new roommates, hallmates, and peers.</p>
<p>Yah honestly, in all the cases I’ve seen, it’s never worked out well. Usually it just turns into a handicap, the two form a dependency on each other, and because they never go anywhere without the other, they tend to be alienated by people who like just one of them.</p>
<p>Don’t do it. You DON’T know your friend until you have lived with him for an extended period. You may think you know what he’s like but you don’t. Your best friend could easily become that “nnoying piece of **** homo,” as you put it, once you get to know him better.</p>
<p>Dont room with your chill friend. illusionsx and JackM are right on the money. You will stay buddies with your chill friend and possibly make another friend who has friends and possibly some female friends. You only do freshman year once and having to deal with a new roommate is part of the challenge. Living with someone is not the same as hanging out with them especially when you have one small room between the two of you.</p>
<p>An unknown roomie can very easily turn into a built-in best friend for the first week or so, while you’re getting to know other people. And you meet people through them. Why miss out on a chance at an easier social life?</p>
<p>Generally speaking, you’ll be hard pressed to find a terribad roomie. If you HATE your roomie, you can always send in a room change request (maybe request your friend then). Or, you can opt to never spend more time than you have to in your dorm, get out, exercise, have fun, and meet even more people. It’s win/win.</p>
<p>I’m gonna be a freshman, and I’m rooming with my friend. I’ve heard not to, and I’ve also heard it’s a good idea…but the thing is, she’s an amazing girl, I’ve had classes with her (last year we spent basically all day with each other), we’ve done theater together (and in theater, you’re with a group of 30-40 people for 10+ hours a day)…and we get along great. I can’t wait!</p>
<p>Aside from the argument that you might kill each other spending a lot of time in close proximity (and this happens with great friends a lot more often than you probably think) - I’ll reiterate what some other people have touched on.</p>
<p>If you are shy, and you are rooming with a shy friend (or even if you are both average in outgoingness), instead of taking the more difficult and timultuous road of putting yourself out there and meeting new people, you will both just hang out with each other all the time. Ipso factso, you will find that both of you will become isolated (with each other) and wondering how every else found their group to hang out with.</p>
<p>Now take living with a random (apart from your friend).</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Your roommate may turn out to be a great friend! This itself is ideal. Of course, your roomate may also be a friendly guy who you do not become close with, or a downright a-hole in the worst case.</p></li>
<li><p>You can still hang out with your friend when you want to, just like now.</p></li>
<li><p>You and you friend both develop friends on your own, you can meet each other’s friends, your social circle expands.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Rooming separately, but possibly in the same building might be a good idea. You can still hang out all the time, but it also gives you your own time.</p>
<p>It’s def a hard choice. I would say if you are both shy then rooming apart may be better. As others said if you both aren’t that outgoing you will likely hang out with each other only. If you get someone new, and hopefully more outgoing then you will feel more obligated and comfortable with branching out. If your friend lives elsewhere then you can still hang out a lot and you’ll be exposing each other to two sets of social opportunities. Say you live on one floor or dorm and your friend is on/in another then you will be able to develop friends and have things through people you meet, and your friend will be able to do the same where they are. Then if people on your floor are doing activities you can bring your friend and if things are quiet on your floor one night you can see what your friends floor is up to, etc. </p>
<p>That said there is def a big if by not knowing a random roomie. I’m a really independent person and lucikly I didn’t have a roommate my freshman year, but I didn’t like my suitemates. Had I had one of them as my roommate I would have considered switching. But the worst that can happen is you tried, it didn’t work out, it was an experience and you learnt from it. Then you try rooming with your friend. But if it works out then you have another friend or at least someone to talk to, and you won’t be risking your friendship with you friend by rooming with them and driving each other up the wall.</p>
<p>Rooming with friends probably works out more often than not. I think that tends to be more successful than the random roommate. </p>
<p>Rooming with a friend shouldn’t strand you in isolation. If you’re smart about it, two friends should be able to social wing each other in the dorms to make more friends easier.</p>
<p>From what I read, yeah, I could still be in the same building as my friend so we could meet up conveniently - and doubling the circle of friends would be neat. So thanks for all those who have expressed that side of the issue.</p>
<p>Akhman, that’s what I feel - you know what your getting by rooming with your friend and it probably would work out. Who knows, with the differences and unexpected parts of your friend - it could even bring you closer together. Of course this may eliminate the “need” to fully adjust to a person you’ve never met before, but that experience could be better avoided perhaps. But yeah, the social winging also applies - I could see us taking different courses then meeting people within and whatnot. </p>
<p>I’m still leaning toward rooming with the friend 60-40 but your inputs so far have helped shed some light and will be in my mind as I think this through. </p>
<p>I had a similar situation. Go random for your roommate. If things aren’t working out for you with that roommate, see if your friend still wants to live together. </p>
<p>I went to college with a friend and decided to go random. I’m sooooo glad I did! We were a great fit! Then my random roommate trandferred and I roomed with a different friend. Biggest mistake ever. I now am no longer friends with her. It all could have been avoided if I would have just went random again.</p>
<p>rooming with friends DOES work out (sometimes). I know some people who went to high school room together and they grew even closer and are rooming again next year. They were able to find other friends, although they shared the exact same group of friends. However, it really will depend on the individual situation.</p>