Hey all, time for another annoying question from a future college student. I’ve been struggling to find a roommate and am now caught between two. I honestly CANNOT decide (I even made a pro and con list). I’m just looking for some help from those with experience. (I will be attending the University of Wisconsin-Madison if that matters)
Roomie Option #1:
-accidentally met her on a tour of the school last year (randomly got a message asking if I wanted to get to know her and room together
-a friend I go to HS with and will be attending UW with is good friends with her as well
-wants to live in the same dorm as me (Chadbourne)
-academic oriented - doesn’t plan on partying as far as I know (I’M NOT AT ALL A PARTIER)
-wants to do similar activities -etc.
Roomie Option #2:
-A LOT in common (feel like I’m talking to a long lost sister)
-doesn’t have a big preference on dorms (she mentioned party dorms as a ‘possibility’ - I really want to avoid those if the dorm gods are in my favor)
-plans on going out and partying sometimes (drinking, etc. - which is not really my scene but she says she respects the decision to not drink or smoke)
-plans on joining similar clubs and intramurals (going to sporting events as well)
-etc.
The only thing that troubles me is the drinking just because I wouldn’t want problems to arise from it. I’m so lost and all of my friends I’ve presented this to haven’t really helped. Thanks in advance.
If I were you, I’d go with the roommate who’s not a partier. I’m not at all a partier either, and I avoided having roommates like that, because, IMO, there are still many potential problems that come with having a partying roommate:
Waking you up by coming home long after you're asleep
Stashing alcohol / drugs in the room
Not coming back all night, with you having no idea where she is / if she's okay
If she gets too drunk, you may have to end up taking care of her (This is my biggest thing. If someone left a drunk person in a room with me, I would not know what to do, what's normal passed-out drunk and when I need to call the RA / 911, etc. I also hate vomit, so I would freak out if my roommate threw up anywhere near me, and I certainly would freak out if I had to clean it up.)
You might not get as much chill time with her on the weekends as you want
That being said, I’m sure that many college students can drink and be responsible, and I didn’t have the best relationship with my roommate freshman year (she literally did not talk to me at all), so for all I know, she could’ve been going out every night, and she was fine. But of all my friends who drink / live with someone who drinks have encountered at least one of these things.
Plus, if she decides that wants to live in a party dorm and you don’t, that’s an issue. Best case scenario: You all may end up living near enough to each other that it doesn’t really matter who’s living with whom.
Rooming with option 1 won’t stop you in any way from being close friends with option 2, so don’t look at this as though you’re tossing away one of them entirely. And keep in mind that it’s really hard to predict what it will be like living with either one on the basis of the slight contact you’ve had. It’s a risk regardless, and one you can’t eliminate, so don’t overthink it.
You can be friends with both people so I would disregard things like common interests and other such factors. Those things are nice, but don’t really matter in a roommate. What you’re really looking for is who you think would be easier to room with, and for that, I would recommend the non-partier.
I hate to say this, but this is college and on top of that UW-Madison. Beer is like water, drinking will happen. Roomate 1 sounds like a better choice.
I feel that roommate one is your best choice. I had a partier roommate last year and it was not fun. One night she can is really late like (3am) and I was asleep bc I had an 8 am in the morning. So she comes in and vomits on our floor and then started to cry loudly. Of course I wake up to the sounds. She is too drunk to do anything so I help her go to the bathroom and brush her teeth. And I cleaned up the vomit. The rest of the night I was wide awake bc I had this feeling she was going to barf again and then choke on her vomit. It was awful. The next morning she didn’t even say thank you. Some people know their limits and others don’t and go past it.
So go for number one but also make time for number two as well. You guys can grab food together and what not. You will be better off in the long run good luck!
The goal for a roommate is to have someone you can share living quarters with, not necessarily be best buds with. You want someone who doesn’t make too much noise, doesn’t stay up too late, doesn’t eat all your food/borrow your clothes, doesn’t bring too many people over.
good luck!