<p>Well even though my freshman year of college doesn't start for a couple of months, I'm already having a little dilemma. A few months ago, I started talking to this kid on facebook. It seemed like we both got a long really great (similar interests, major, study habits, cleanliness, etc). After meeting up a couple of times, we decided to put eachother down as roommates. (this was back in March), ever since then we made sure to keep talking (texting, facebook, etc). A few weeks ago, I had my orientation for school (which was two days). My roommate was going to be there as well, but during the two days, I didn't really hang out with him a lot, because our schedules were kinda different. I also figured, "Why spend my time hanging out with him, when I'm gonna be with him every single day come August?" So I spent my time with other people. When I got back to New Jersey, he texted me saying that he'd talked to another kid who wants to be roommates, and figured that he'd be better off rooming with him because "he realized that he's gonna do a lot more partying then he originally thought". I guess this excuse would work and everything, if ONLY he hadn't told me that he's not a "partyer". Not wanting to be difficult, I said okay and we emailed housing to have our names taken off. Now because the deadline has passed for housing, I can't request a new roommate, which means I'm going to have to go random. What do you guys think about this? Did I do something wrong for this to happen? Now I'm worried that I'll get a crappy roommate because my school (Pitt) had a really vague survey :/ I need advice!!</p>
<p>Many schools have a “no input” policy on feshman year roommates. And, yes, almost all the questionaire I’ve seen are somewhat lame.</p>
<p>My personal (ancient) experience and that of my recent college graduate son has been that roommate match is a crap shoot. Don’t over sweat this.</p>
<p>I don’t think you did anything wrong. The kid just changed his mind. It happens. It’s probably for the best because if he did not really represent himself fully (i.e. saying he didn’t plan to party when really he did) it would have been difficult once the two of you started rooming together. </p>
<p>The majority of students are matched up randomly with a roommate, based on a very vague housing survey. For the majority, it works out fine. It’s not important that you be best friends with your roommate, it’s important that you be courteous to each other, respectful, and reasonably clean. Of course, if you do become friends so much the better. If you don’t, well, that’s ok too. Don’t worry about it. Focus on preparing yourself for college and when you do get your roommate assignment, just try to get along with them. You might end up being best friends with them, and just think, you would have never met them if you stuck with the original guy.</p>
<p>Been through it twice with 2 kids, roomies picked by the school after answering questionnaire–one howling success (best friends for 8 years and counting), one meh (cordial relationship but definitely not on the same page with each other–no thought of rooming together ever again)…</p>
<p>So just make the best of whatever roommate that you get. Just because a person is your roommate doesn’t mean that he has to become your best friend for life. That’s an added bonus if it happens</p>
<p>Son went to a school with an extensive questionaire and ended up with a total mismatch for a roommate. Son had nothing to do with his roommate after freshman year. </p>
<p>Daughter’s school had a brief (and somewhat vague) questionaire and ended up (after requesting a double) in a triple with two great roommates. She is renting an apartment with one next year and the other is going to be rooming with her sport’s teammates.</p>
<p>So you never know. If you get into a roommate situation that is going badly most schools have a means to switch. Son should have done this but he wanted to work it out and it never did.</p>
<p>“Now I’m worried that I’ll get a crappy roommate …”</p>
<p>I’m sure Pitt screened out all crappy-roommate types during the Admissions process. There’s some small possibility that your eventual roommate many not be enamoured of you. That would definitely be a misperception, don’t you think?</p>
<p>In any case, it’s very common to have people around you who were randomly selected. Classmates, colleagues, neighbors, etc. won’t always be your choice. A lot of how they feel about you will come out of how you feel about them.</p>
<p>UW-Madison dropped matching roommates using a questionnaire a long time ago. They found that random matching was just as successful (students can still request each other). Don’t worry at all about this. You and your roommate will both have one important thing in common- you chose the same school.</p>
<p>Also don’t worry if you and your roommate are very different. You do not need to be best friends with that person- you only need to get along. You can each go your own way and socialize with different people.</p>
<p>I guessing that your ex-roommate was not the only one who stood up his initial choice. I’ll bet there are plenty of non-crappy options in the random pool. I predict that you will be fine.</p>
<p>No offense, but you posted this exact thread in college life and were told it was a non-issue. What made you think that the more experienced parents would be more likely to treat this as a huge problem?</p>
<p>I just heard a wonderful story about roommate situation during lunch today. The D of a friend of mine could not stand her roommate (via random match)and they did not get along at all the first semester. Guess what, they continued to be roommates for the rest of college years. Now this roommate is going to be in friend D’s wedding! So you never know.
A student contacted my S to be a potential roommate and they texted back and forth to get to know each other. On the day they planned to meet, he told my S he changed his mind and found someone else.</p>
<p>My D was random matched for her first year. Her roommate was a very nice young lady. She didn’t have that much in common, except the important things. Neither is a smoker, drinker or partyer and neither wanted a TV in the room. They got along well enough and are still friendly. After the first year, my D became an RA and now has her own room. The funny part is that the roommate now lives with D’s friend from home and she introduced the two of them.</p>
<p>DD had random roommates for two years. She was fine. The reality is that you don’t have to spend all of your time with your roommate. You just have to get along with one another enough to share the space. Sure, it’s nice if you end up being better friends but that often doesn’t happen. DD’s best friends…the ones she knew all four years…were others from her HALL in the dorm, but not her roommates.</p>
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<p>Why do you care? If OP wants another perspective whats the big deal? If he is nervous about the situation he can ask as many places as he wants until he is comfortable.</p>
<p>S was placed with his freshman roommate via a vague questionnaire. They peacefully coexisted but did not become best buds - the roommate was on a varsity team and spent most of his time with his teammates. However S’s best friends for the next 4 years turned out to be some of the other guys who lived on his freshman floor. And he didn’t fight with his roommate, they are still cordial - just didn’t “bond,” but as I said they got along fine and the year was comfortable for S.</p>
<p>This whole phenomenon of finding your own roommate online is very new, and the results are very mixed. I don’t think the etiquette has really been worked out yet, and it’s awkward. D knows people who met their roommate on FB and it worked, and some where it did not work at all. D’s suitemate (randomly assigned) looked like a major partier and obnoxious snob on FB - in reality she turned out to be a sweet heart and is now one of D’s best friends.</p>
<p>This is not a problem.
You may get a best friend or maybe not. My D’s was nice, but definitely not her best friend. So she hung out in the lounge most of the time…and met tons of wonderful friends.
So this may just be a lucky thing for you!</p>
<p>American U. studied this question for years, and discovered that the students ended up slightly happier when they DIDN’T do any matching at all.</p>
<p>Dude - no worries. Back in the day, everyone went “random.” It’s all good. Just show up. Be cool. Have a great college experience.</p>
<p>OP, I think this was a blessing in disguise. It’s good that you found out now that you’re not compatible, rather than being stuck with each other for the whole year.</p>
<p>My D (now a rising junior) became facebook BFFs with her roommate during the summer before freshman year. Once they met face-to-face in August, it became apparent within days that they had little in common, did not enjoy the same people, had incompatible sleep and study habits, etc. By May, they were barely speaking. I think she and this girl formed idealized pictures of each other, and when they didn’t live up to each other’s dreams, the disappointment made things much worse than if they had just been “randomized.” You don’t bring expectations into a random-roommate situation.</p>
<p>I second LasMa. If you are randomly assigned there is no pressure to be BFFs or hang out together all the time. If you pick someone you come into the situation with lots of baggage and expectations. Also, remember everyone else will be in the same situation.</p>
<p>For my DD and her friends random worked out better than trying to pick someone via FB.</p>