Roommate Essay?

<p>Hey, is anyone up for giving me some feedback on my roommate essay? As you know (or may not know), the SCEA deadline is November 1...so I'd say it's coming up pretty soon. I just cranked it out in 15 minutes-ish, so it's pretty rough, but I guess what I'm really wondering is how informal it can be. Mine's kind of a stream of consciousness/meeting my roommate for the first time/a one-sided conversation. I don't really know how to describe it.
Help me please?</p>

<p>i already turned in my stanford app, so i’ll take a look at it if you want</p>

<p>sure, I’ll read/critique for you</p>

<p>sure
mine is in</p>

<p>pm me already submitted</p>