Roommate Issues

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>Hello, I'm Eric and I'm in my freshman year in college. I'm staying at a school away from home so I live in one of the dorms on campus. Since I did not know anybody that I could room with, I was assigned three random roommates. </p>

<p>The good news is that we each have our own bedrooms which all open up into a common room that we share, along with a bathroom. </p>

<p>The interesting part is that roommates all requested to live with each other, so I'm the odd one out. In addition to this, they are all three partiers and I am not at all. Just to clarify, these guys go out every single night. I'm not joking. Classes have been going on for almost two weeks now and they still go out and drink/smoke every night.</p>

<p>The two weeks of living with these guys were ok. Sure, they came in late and kept me up since I'm a light sleeper, they would often stay up till five AM in the common room, but they were still nice to me. Well now that we're halfway into the second week of classes, I've found out that one of my roommates hates me. I've entered our common room to find not only rude things written on the marker board, but also a picture of myself with male genitalia in my mouth.</p>

<p>I have actually no explanation for any of this. The only reason I can think of for this random rude treatment is the fact that I'm different. I don't drink or smoke and I actually care about my school work. I don't just sit in my room and do nothing, though. I have made other friends that I hangout with pretty much everyday. </p>

<p>My concern is continuing to live in this situation. I am afraid to stay at the school on the weekends because I know my roommates will go buck wild and keep me awake. I'm also afraid that the situation will get worse and that they will start seriously bullying me.</p>

<p>I have spoken with my RA about this and he said he would speak with them about always coming in late and making noise, but I know that won't help the fact that my roommates are being cruel. </p>

<p>I apologize for the long message, but I just want some extra opinions on what I should do, if anything at all. Thanks in advance!</p>

2

<p>If your RA doesn’t seem open to helping with the animosity, I’d go straight to your housing office and discuss it with them. That sort of thing should NOT be happening, and should be rectified as soon as possible. I hope it works out for you, and soon.</p>

3

<p>Honestly I think you should offer to go out with them and buy them beers one night. Try to befriend them.</p>

4

<p>Nerdygrad, that sounds very submissive.</p>

<p>Some a-hole messes around with you, then you buy him a beer. Lol that sounds pretty funny. They’ll take him for a punk.</p>

5

<p>No, I think he can win them over by becoming their friend. Kill them with kindness.</p>

6

<p>It can work that way, nerdygrad, but I don’t think guyndfan is happy as it is with his current roommates. He’s already having trouble with sleeping hours, and now this. I don’t think they’ll be won over, so much as they’ll see him as being a pushover, plus he’s outnumbered, and they’re all friends already. I think he’s doing the right thing by talking to someone higher up.</p>

<p>The one thing I wonder, though – guyndfan, do you think there’s any way you might be showing disdain for their lifestyle? I’m not out to blame you, I’m just wondering if there may be something you can change while you wait for this to play out.</p>

7

<p>Thank you all for the replies!</p>

<p>Buying them drinks is definitely out of the question since it would be very out of character for me and I legally can’t purchase alcohol anyway. My school is also a dry campus that enforces the rule, so I’d rather not be caught out with a bunch of underage drinkers.</p>

<p>TitoMorito, after additional thought, I think I know what the problem is. There is one roommate who I have a better relationship with. He is smarter than the others, handles himself better and seems to be understanding. So if they ever kept me up or if I had an issue with their lifestyle, I’ve taken it up with him. Of course I have never been confrontational and I have said most things in person. However, I think he may be taking my words out of context and telling the others what I said/what he thinks I said. </p>

<p>So basically I returned to campus from home this weekend on Sunday. One of my roommates hasn’t spoken to me at all since then. I’ve had very minimal contact with the other two as well. They can be in the common room, I’ll walk in, and they don’t say a single word to me. Even though I don’t really mind it, it’s still very awkward.</p>

8

<p>I would check to see if any rooms/beds have opened up in dorms where your friends live. If so, request a room change.</p>

9

<p>Eric, you need to go over the head of your RA. Go to the housing office. I’m a mom, and I’m concerned for you. You shouldn’t have to put up with ANY of this. It’s a horrible situation, and I can understand your concern about staying for the weekend–but if you leave, they sound stupid enough to escalate their behavior towards you.</p>

<p>Seriously. What is wrong with people? What a bunch of jerks. </p>

<p>I want you to protect yourself and get into another room. You may be different, but it’s because you’re the normal one there. Please, be proactive, and update.</p>

10

<p>I agree with marbling. Go straight to housing – I don’t think your RA can fix this situation. Good luck.</p>

11

<p>

You always give horrible advice. One of your posts was downright homophobic. Just stop posting dude.</p>

12

<p>Go to the housing office of your DRY campus and tell them that your roommates come in and abuse the system. Recommend that they (housing office) videotape your DRY room and that you want out since you also pay housing fees and feel bullied. Then, get the blank OUT!</p>

13

<p>The “drawing” is an act of harassment and bullying!</p>

14

<p>Thank you all for the replies!</p>

<p>I’m not sure if the housing office would be consider with complaints that I can’t back up aside from the drawing which I took a picture of with my phone. I spoke with my RA again today and he told me that he was on the way to speak to my roommates.</p>

<p>I’m just worried that things aren’t going to get better. I do not want to have to go to the housing office and get my room changed, but I feel like that might be necessary. I haven’t spoken to any of them at all today and I’ve seen them multiple times. Should I wait and talk to my RA again to see what they said?</p>

15

<p>Have you heard back from your RA?</p>

16

<p>I don’t even think you need to speak to them. In their drunken hearts, they know that they’ve been unreasonable. The RA doesn’t have much “teeth”. You have to go to the housing office. Don’t worry about “hurting” their feelings; this is business-you need to sleep to get good grades. If you let this go further, your grades are going to TANK! DD went through some of this crap. She never got sleep! The RA didn’t do JACK!</p>

17

<p>Just another update. </p>

<p>Tonight I had an allergic reaction to something. I’m only allergic to peanuts as far as I know. I had some chicken that could have been fried in peanut oil, but I had the same chicken last week. My RA came rushing in with his roommate who’s a nursing major. The guy said that stress could cause my immune system to be weak. </p>

<p>My RA was so mad that my roommates have been stressing me out and he is going to talk to them and tell them everything.</p>

18

<p>You need to speak w a councelor </p>

<p>Sent from my iPhone using CC</p>

19

<p>You need to speak w a counselor and they can really help push things along. Your sanity is at stake here especially since your coursework is only going to get more intense and you need to feel comfortable and safe. You also need to be treated w respect which everyone deserves.
They can put in a request for you and let you change rooms.
Good luck. </p>

<p>Sent from my iPhone using CC</p>