Roommate Issues

Pre-College Topics
1

In March, I applied for housing, selected a dorm and the room. I booked a room right away because the dorm I really wanted to be in was already full so I wanted to be sure I could at least have my second choice dorm. I messaged the girl who was also in the room if it was okay that I was her roommate or if she had a friend she planned to room with. She replied back “no. you can’t room with me, my friend is. Find someone else.” Okay I thought that was rude but I wasn’t going to be rude back. I didn’t cancel the room right away because I got caught up with other things and the girl messaged back saying “I said you can’t be in my room, cancel it.”…Rude again…but I cancelled the room and found a different one. I messaged the girl in the room asking if she had friends or anyone she planned to room with and she said “No, looks like we’re roommates :)” Yippie I found a roommate (from now on I will be referring my new roommate as “C”). We didn’t correspond A LOT but we did message each other every once in a while asking questions and stuff. When she was at orientation at the end of May, she messaged me saying “hey I’m so excited to be rooming with you, I think I should have your number.” The next day a random girl messaged me on INSTAGRAM (I will be referring her to as “K”) asking if I was the girl rooming with “C”. Then she said she met “C” at orientation and they clicked so she said she’d like to switch rooms with me. I was so confused because “C” had just messaged me the day before saying she was so excited to room with me. I messaged “C” asking if she was aware of this and she said the decision was totally up to me. I mean I wasn’t going to say no to “K” because I don’t want to create tension and I really had no choice anyways. Before I agreed to switch rooms, “K” said she called housing a few days ago saying we’re switching and that I need to send an email to housing confirming it. (Note: she called housing after she got home from orientation, so this was before she even contacted me about it). She also told her current roommate (Who will be referred to as"N") that I was the one that was going to be in her room with her and “N” messaged me saying that I’m her new roommate and ya de da de da. Since I really had no choice, I confirmed the switch. About two weeks after I was switched into the new room, with “N”, “N” texted me saying she was going to room with a different girl in another building.That really pissed me off. I am a really chill, and laid back type of gal. I usually just go with the flow and do what people want me to do for them, but I am really irritated that I have pretty much no say in any of this and I think how I feel about being booted out of my room by a third party and being left by the new roommate isn’t really a concern to these girls. As high school was coming to and end, I had a dispute with a few friends because I told them I was sick of being everyone’s bitch and I’m tired of being walked over. I feel like I always get put into situations where I get the lousy end of the deal because I’m the one that’s “too nice” to say no to people. I think these conceited girls should just try being my roommate and if they don’t like me, they don’t have to hang out with me. You met some girl, so bam you want to room with her? You’re going to met a TON of people…are you just going to keep switching rooms? no. If we don’t get along, you don’t have to be in the room 24/7, you just have to sleep there. I am honestly (not to sound full of myself) but I feel like I am one of the least selfish people out there and I try to be nice to everyone. We don’t have to be best friends, we just have to get along for a year. I wish people would consider the feelings of others more often. I feel pretty shitty that nobody wants to room with me. I’ve said nothing bad to anyone and I promise I don’t bite.

Questions:

  1. Is it normal for people to want to switch rooms before school even starts?
  2. Should I not have switched rooms with "K" in the first place?
  3. How do I put in my opinion without being the "bad guy"?/ is there a way to be nice and still get a point across?
  4. What do I do now? Do I ask housing if I even need a roommate? Do I find a new one?
  5. Why are people so selfish?
2
  1. It happens. Happened to me, though fewer times than to you.
  2. I also switched when my assigned roommate told me to. Why would I live with someone who, right off the bat, will resent me for not leaving?
  3. "I have had to choose a new roommate three times now and I would really just like to get something set in stone"?
  4. So are you currently signed up for a room? If so, that is a better position than the previous times. That is your room now and nobody can demand that you switch. ("I was here first!")

Check online to see if single rooms at your school cost more. Once you have that info, you should probably call housing to ask the questions in #4. I’m not sure why you can’t just wait for someone else to take the empty spot – there seems to be a fair amount of movement going on?

ETA: I know the feeling of “why doesn’t anybody want to room with me?” My first one similarly told me to switch (less rudely than yours, but still not very politely). My second one moved out after a month. Just when I had accepted the idea of being alone for the rest of the year, housing told me they were forcibly moving someone else in. She didn’t even want to be there, and was wildly inconsiderate to boot.

So… People suck. I’m sorry you have to deal with all this before you even set foot on campus. But like you said, all you need is one person with whom you can coexist. If someone signs up for that empty slot in your room…great. If nobody does and housing says you can live alone…enjoy your space and privacy.