Hey everyone, I’m having a slight problem right now and idk what to do. I currently have a roommate right now and we aren’t that close, but overall have minimal problems living together. Although sometimes, my roommate will do this weird thing where she obnoxiously sprays febreze in the room. The first time I thought maybe it was because I had recently gone to the bathroom and the smell may have subtly gone into the bedroom, but when I asked her if something smelled, she said yeah “it smells really bad” but claimed that she didn’t know what it was.
But now she still sprays febreze in the room. It’s extremely frustrating for me because I don’t smell anything out of sorts, and she is really passive and won’t tell me what it is, if she even knows. I shower regularly, do laundry regularly , clean my sheets regularly. I rarely leave clothes on the floor and I’m for the most part clean. I’ve had guests over that have hung out in my room and even slept in my room and not once has anyone complained. I have a boyfriend who is a neat freak and has slept in the room and said that he didn’t smell anything. My mom has been in my room and if anyone were to point out that I smelled, it would be my mom, but she didn’t say anything. I’ve had three past roommates, and not once have I ever had a problem like this.
It’s not really that big of a deal, since there is only a month left of living with this roommate, but it drives me absolutely bonkers that I MYSELF could be THAT roommate that is smelly. I just don’t know what to do because my roommate won’t talk. The only other possibility is that my roommate thinks that she smells, since I’ve noticed she sprays febreze most of the times right after she gets out of the bathroom? It’s just really awkward because she will do a febreze spraying session and just not talk to me or give any explanation as to why she is doing it. You’d think she would at least have the decency to tell me why she is doing it, but she’s always so weird about it.
There are literally no other problems with this roommate besides the fact that we aren’t close at all and never have anything to talk about, so it’s a bit uncomfortable sometimes. I hate being a bad roommate, and all I want is for my roommate to be comfortable. And if it turns out I have smelled my whole life, but no one has ever told me, I would be so horrified, but I’d want her to tell me. But I honestly am extremely clean and there is not much else I can do. Any advice of what to do, or what I could possibly be missing would be helpful.
Do you shower daily and use an anti-persperant? Do you use perfume (that could bother your roommate, so consider skipping it)? Do you have an item of clothing you wear regularly that might need cleaning (bathrobe, coat, etc)? Do you smoke? Do you have athletic shoes or equipment that might be an issue? Do you microwave food or keep food in a common fridge that might have an odor? Those are the things I can think to check.
I am wondering if the issue might be dirty clothes that you both have stored up prior to getting to the laundry. You might also want to air out your room from time to time. Do you have a window that you can open just a very small amount?
Do you like to eat highly spiced/flavored/garlicky foods? Kimchee, curry, etc.? Those can make you smell too, even though you’re clean. But it’s probably her, not you.
I shower daily and use deodorant daily. I don’t use curry and don’t even know what Kimchee is, but I never even leave food in the bedroom since we have a kitchen (she is spraying febreze in the bedroom). I mean yeah we both have bags of dirty laundry but doesn’t everyone lol? I leave the bedroom door open usually to air it out but we are unable to open our window. I also keep my fan on during the day to air it out even more with the door open. I mean I have shoes that I don’t clean, but they are kept in a bin in my closet. I don’t leave them out in the open and I don’t work out regularly. I also don’t smoke at all.
It sounds like you’ve covered all the bases. Some folks just have a keener sense of smell than others. Also, it may just be the “dorm smell” - especially if it’s an older dorm or apartment that gets that permanent musty smell, and that can be highlighted when the humidity is high (like right after a shower). The only other suggestion I can think of is to ask other friends over (who haven’t been there in at least a week and not soon after your roommate has sprayed) and ask them straight out if something smells. Tell them to be completely honest. If they say no, then I would not worry about it anymore. The longer it’s been since someone has been in your room, the less likely they will be acclimated to any smell that may have been there. And the next time your mom comes, ask her specifically within a minute or two after she comes through the door - again before her nose has time to acclimate.
The weird thing is that I’m usually very intolerant of bad smells. It is my pet peeve when I have to sit next to a smelly person and they are simply oblivious to the fact that they do smell. That’s why I feel bad and wish she would be honest with me, but I don’t even smell anything at all that is off in the room.
@Choski94 It’s a college apartment complex, and it is a brand new apartment complex, so idk I don’t think it’s the actual smell of the apartment since its not actually a dorm room. But yeah i’ll try asking my friends the next time I have someone visit. Hopefully that will give me an answer.
Can you try asking your roommate directly again? Let her know that you’d like to help, but need more info on what is bugging her. Too much Febreeze can set off the fire alarm, even. (D1’s fiancé managed it in college after someone threw up in his room)
So do you have a window that is non operational? While a bit off topic, seems unsafe (and a code violation) to not have an operational window where you sleep in the event of a fire. Perhaps notifying the maintenance department of the unsafe conditions would result in a quick response and allow some fresh air in the room.
@svlab112 we live on a high floor so they deem it unsafe to allow the windows to open. It’s a common complaint in the apartment complex but there is not much we can do.
@intparent I mean I could ask her again. Not sure how effective it will be asking her though, since the first time I asked her she claimed to have no idea where the smell is coming from.
If your mom and guests cannot smell anything offensive, I’d say it’s your roommates issue and not yours. Perhaps there is no bad smell. I have a friend who vacuums twice a day!!
You’ve considered all the possibilities and seem thoughtful. Dorm living can be tough.
Ask her why she sprays febreze. :"Roomie…I noticed that you have been spraying febreze lately. Is there a smell that you are covering up?
If she says yes, then ask what it is.
If she says no, then ask her to stop spraying febreze please.
A smell that bothers me that doesn’t seem to bother others is a “mildew” type smell that comes from taking clothes out of the dryer when they aren’t totally dry and then folding them and putting them away or wearing them. A lot of people don’t seem to be able to smell this but it drives me crazy.
