<p>I live in a 4 bedroom/2 bathroom suite with 3 other girls. I get along with the girl I share a bathroom with, but there's one problem. Her boyfriend (who attends college in the state where she moved from) is always there on the weekends! He comes up on Thursday nights and stays until Sunday. This has been happening since September, just about every other weekend. At first, I was fine with it since we have our own bedrooms, but lately I've gotten tired of it. At first she would ask/tell me in advance that he was coming, which I greatly appreciated. But recently, he just shows up and I have no idea until I have an awkward run in with him. He uses our shower and bathroom area, so I'm always worrying about him being out there when I get out of the shower and stuff like that. In our handbook, it says we can only have guests of the same sex up to 3 nights a year, and all of the roommates have to agree that it is okay if the guest is there. I'm not trying to get her in trouble, and I'm afraid of making things awkward if I say something to her about it. Any advice?</p>
<p>She should go back to giving you advance warning but beyond that I think having him come every other weekend isn’t that bad.</p>
<p>Really? I think it’s unreasonable. One weekend a month would be fine, but more than that seems ridiculous. They throw away their used condoms in our shared bathroom (without wrapping them up) and leave the trash there for a week. They also get up rather early and slam the bedroom/bathroom doors while im trying to sleep. They have no respect towards me. I didn’t sign up to live with her and her boyfriend…</p>
<p>I say try and talk to her, it’ll be worse if you wait until you blow up at her and this really isn’t fair to you. Can she go visit him some of the time maybe?</p>
<p>For any Roommate/Suite-Mate conflict I always have my residents talk about it first. You need to talk to her and let her know that you would really appreciate it if she would make sure you are ok with him coming up so that you can make plans or just know. Let her know what your concerns are. If you wait too long then you’ll end up blowing up on her. </p>
<p>You can also slip an anonymous note to your RA and let them catch the boyfriend staying over. I have had plenty of roommates do that, I usually just go up and say I say them walk in on the cameras and never saw them leave.</p>
<p>Hope this helped,
-C</p>
<p>okstategirl,</p>
<p>FWIW, everything you mentioned really has nothing to do with the frequency of the visits per se. They could be just as disrespectful one weekend/month (and I agree that the stuff in your 2nd post is rude), but you are also free to your opinion that 2 weekends/month is too much, and agree with others that if that’s how you feel you should say something as nicely as possible. If she gives you attitude, you can remind her that your one weekend/month policy is still more lenient than the school one.</p>
<p>If he wasn’t here at all, there wouldn’t be any problems. I’d rather he not stay here at all, because I’m not comfortable with it anymore. I’m entitled to feel comfortable where I live especially with how much I pay to live here. She has family here, so it’s not like they don’t have anywhere else to stay.</p>
<p>The only thing that I’d be really mad about is the condoms in the trash. That’s disgusting. Talk to her seriously, by herself, about slamming the doors while you’re sleeping and the condoms and ask for a little more respect.</p>
<p>She probably thinks you’re okay with it/expect him to visit by now so that’s why she stopped asking. I know it may be uncomfortable but honestly, it could be much worse. Ask her to warn you or tell you ahead of time whenever her bf is coming over. She might get the hint that his presence annoys you but I wouldn’t say I don’t want him to stay over ever again because things could escalate between you and her fast. </p>
<p>She is allowed to have guests, though. Try to work towards a compromise.</p>
<p>She’s allowed to have guests of the same sex. But apparently she’s not doing anything wrong and I’m forced to be uncomfortable until the end of the year. Thanks for the responses.</p>