<p>So first let me start by saying that my roommate and I are friends. We are both friends and became friends because we didn't know anyone. I grew up in an area where there is a high crime rate in Virginia. She is from Michigan from an area that is kind of in the middle of nowhere. She consistently leaves the door unlocked, leaving my very expensive Mac Book Pro and other values including my wallet out in the open as well as her belongings. I have constantly talked to her even being polite but it is annoying because I feel like I am talking to an 8 year old and asking her to do this one task. I don't even care that she is dirty and messy, all I care about are my belongings being safe and knowing they are there when I return. She lost her keys once and for 2 weeks she was keeping our door unlocked and leaving for hours until she got them replaced. She is very irresponsible and doesn't go to class or do her homework. My other friends and I were concerned with her and had a talk to her because by the sound of her aspirations, she wants to accomplish a lot in her life. She took the advice and asked us to help her out and remind her to go to class and such. My other friends stopped helping her. I kept helping her. I even woke her up for class and reminded her like she asked and then she would get annoyed. Eventually I just stopped caring if she failed or passed because I can't be holding her hand if she doesn't want me to help her. Anyways she subtweeted me on twitter the other day, and I thought that was disrespectful and childish because I was offering her help. She thought that I had been angry with her this week but we have had finals and final papers due all week and next week and I like to be alone because I have a stress disorder and need peace and quiet. I think she thinks I was angry at her because she left the door unlocked yet again and my laptop was out in the open on my desk and she went to take a 30 minute shower. I was a little upset so I told my RA to speak with her since I have told her more than 10 times. I even told her that I am not angry with her, but that I wish she was more careful. She said "Idk, i don't want to talk about it. I have heard some things." Am I being over dramatic because I don't want my stuff stolen or what? Not to mention our school is in a mid-sized city. Ever since I spoke with my RA, she has ignored me and such. All I want her to do is take 2 seconds out of her day to lock a door. She filed for mediation, but what is the use for that if all I ask is to lock a door. I have been ignoring my other friends the exact same way because I am stressed out over my grades and final so why does she feel she deserves to be treated any differently? I am not understanding. Now, I have to go to a small meeting with her and my RA to discuss "differences." There are none except for the door. And I feel I did the right thing by going to my RA after asking her multiple times to lock the door. Can someone tell me what I did wrong?</p>
<p>I don’t think you did anything wrong, I feel like she just doesn’t want to listen.</p>
<p>I would say go to the meeting with her and the RA, but ultimately I think you’re going to need a room change. Can you go straight to the RD about that? I mean, I don’t know how it works at your school but I feel like you’re going to need to go to someone higher up than your RA to get things changed.</p>
<p>Your roommate sounds like she has ADD. It is not your job to take care of her and add to your stress. You have been more patient than anyone should expect. I too think you need a roommate change. Over the winter break will be an ideal time. Go to the housing director and request it. This is beyond the scope of the RA. Your roommate is putting both of you in physical danger by leaving your door unlocked for days at a time. What if you came back and interrupted a thief?</p>
<p>If your RA won’t do anything helpful, talk to another helpful RA or housing chief.</p>
<p>Not a particularly helpful solution, but you might want to invest in a laptop lock if you’re really concerned about the computer being stolen. Just keep it locked to your bed/desk, and no one can walk off with it, regardless of your roommate’s actions. For something like a wallet, you probably don’t want to leave it sitting out in the open anyways.</p>
<p>Door: Totally reasonable to want it locked when you’re both out. If someone’s sitting in the room, I think leaving it open is fine, but if you’re both out that’s kinda dangerous. Hopefully she won’t have to learn that the hard way.</p>
<p>Homework/class: Honestly, you’re not her mother, and you’re probably best off not bringing it up at an RA meeting or anything. She’s an adult and shouldn’t need to be micromanaged… and it’s irrelevant to the door stuff.</p>
<p>As for what you did wrong… possibly nothing. It’s final season. If she’s not been going to class or keeping up with her work, she’s probably realizing she’s screwed and is stressing out about it, or just stressing over finals, same as you. But it still might help to get the RA involved with the door thing. It doesn’t sound like she’s forgotten the issue (she’s tweeting about it, right?) so I would keep bringing it up til she starts locking the door.</p>