We moved in our dorm about two weeks ago and everything was fine when is was just me and roommate #1 but when roommate #2 moved in, the two really bonded. I feel awkward and unwelcomed in the dorm or like I’m 3rd wheeling when I go out. I get along with both of them but I can’t seem the make the situation better. They also are trying to get me to party and are trying to pressure me into drinking, which is illegal. I’ve made it clear I don’t want to be “corrupted” but they still keep brining it up. I don’t want to come off as stuck up either but it’s just not for me. How should I move forward?
You aren’t going to find a perfect situation. Just do your thing and try to find other friends who want to do things other than party. They don’t have to be your roommate to be your friend.
@kriskratt Don’t despair. It has only been two weeks. You will find your tribe. Triples are tricky. One person of the three often feels left out. To change the situation continue to get along with both but seek out the company of like thinking hallmates , club friends or classmates and pursue deeper friendships with them. If anything you and roommate #1 should have had the advantage meeting first. They just must click more for some reason. Greet them warmly, hang out if it is going well but if not change your environment temporarily. Do not depend on them for your good mood or self esteem. Just come and go and think of your dorm as the place to crash, get ready, study ETC and head out with others to do social time. You mention that they are trying" to pressure you into drinking (which you have pointed out is illegal), that they are attempting to corrupt you and that you feel unwelcome." Hopefully you are not saying it to them as they might feel offended. To them drinking may have been a part of high school or a part of what they thought college is. Everyone comes from different backgrounds and areas. Hang in there. Pursue other friends. Things will get better
What college is putting kids in triples at a time like this? Ugg.
I sympathize with you, and am sorry to hear you’re feeling left out. It isn’t going to be easy given the constraints everyone is under, but you’re going to have to make friends elsewhere, ones who more closely share your values. It is unlikely you can do so safely at this time, but you could try going out with your roommates and drinking non-alcoholic beverages. It won’t be fun hanging with a bunch of drunk people, but it will buy you time until you find your tribe.
You appreciate them for who they are and learn a bit about yourself. I would stop saying alcohol would “corrupt” you as it does sound stuck up as if you are better than them. One can enjoy alcohol and not be a horrible person (even if underage). They are adults and finding their own boundaries as well. All you have to say is that you dont like the taste of it or it makes you sick and continue to say no.
As others have said, after covid you will be able to get out more and find your people. Are you connecting with others at the college on social media? My son didnt vibe totally with either of his roommates last year and he still found good friends that hes moved in with this year. His one dorm roomie was totally weird and OCD and would chase him with a chair if you dared to not to as he said. The other dorm roomie sat in their dorm playing video games most of the day and rarely showered. My kid survived.
@readthetealeaves Thank you so very much for your advice! I don’t judge them for wanting to party or drink and I’m really trying to come off to them as understanding and not stuck-up but it’s only been two weeks and they’re already trying to push my boundaries. I’ll follow your advice and do my best!
You can always investigate moving to a new room. Kids leave all the time. Some schools might make you wait a few weeks but it’s usually first come first serve. Also look into substance free housing if you look to switch rooms…could be more in line with your preference of no drinking.
My D had a triple sophomore year with 2 girls she didn’t know beforehand. One moved out almost right away because the 3rd roommate kept a bizarre schedule: asleep at 7pm and no lights allowed in the room after that and up at 3 am doing homework. After numerous fruitless discussions and negotiations with the RA my D moved out as well.
Good luck ? and hang in there.
Many schools still have triples and quads, especially if they are suite style with individual rooms and shared living and bathrooms.
First year roommates don’t have to be besties. Civility goes a long way. Those two may have more in common and that’s really okay. Keep your eyes open for your people. Next time you go along with them, tell them someone has to be sober and you’ll be the Designated Friend 
@2plustrio Haha, I was quoting them ? They literally said that they wanted to corrupt me. I really don’t judge them for drinking, I just don’t like alcohol. It makes me uncomfortable that they keep saying stuff like this when I’ve made it clear that it’s just not for me. I have some friends here but since the first month has been moved online, I’m going to be spending a lot of time in the dorm until the library reopens. Thank you so much for your advice!
EDIT: PLEASE READ
Since we’re all underage, the floor is supposed to be substance free and I will get on the waitlist to move dorms if the situation gets worse but I just need a bit of advice to see if it can get worked out first. As for me using “corrupted”, they literally said that they wanted to corrupt me. I just don’t like alcohol or partying (ya know, with covid) and I have made that clear. I don’t judge them for it at all. Thank you to everyone who has commented!
@kriskratt
You are technically right about the way your floor is “supposed” to be but there’s a reason that schools often have designated substance free floors or dorms. And often there’s a agreement signed that you’ll abide by those rules if you live there.
Try to see the positive-- your roommates are trying to include you, even if it’s in activities you don’t want to do. So perhaps you can enjoy their company for some things, like a movie or a meal. Or go with them and don’t drink.
Don’t judge their choices and with a little luck, they won’t judge yours. This is always a tough situation.
In normal circumstances you could attend parties to meet people and just not drink. Or you could pour half a cup of beer and carry it around without drinking it. There’s no reason to announce to people that you don’t drink. But this isn’t a time to be out partying. Are your roommates attending parties? I’d be more concerned about that than whether or not they drink.
Are there parties to go to? Do they actually have alcohol or is this all talk? I wouldn’t take the “corrupt” talk too seriously. A lot of kids think you have to drink to have fun and they think others do too. My D is not a huge drinker and can’t take a shot to save her life- she takes a lot of ribbing for it, but she just laughs it off.
The dynamic of 3 is really hard. Two people always seem to get along better. A lot of times after a few weeks they end up getting on each other’s nerves. Just try to keep an open mind and join in as much as you can- unless it’s something that makes you uncomfortable. Also try to connect with other people on your hall- maybe there is another “third wheel” in the same situation.