Hello everyone, I have moved into a two bedroom apartment with someone that I was assigned to by the apartment complex. My roommate and I were getting along the first month that I have moved into the apartment, but things made a turn. The reason why things took a turn was that I told my roommate that her boyfriend living in the apartment made me feel uncomfortable. First, I feel uncomfortable with him living in the apartment because I pay rent to only have one roommate, not two. Second, my roommate and her boyfriend take all the space in the refrigerator, freezer, and cabinets in the kitchen. Thirdly, my roommate and her boyfriend do laundry every single day and I am never able to do laundry. Furthermore, my roommate will complain and become passive-aggressive if everything in the apartment is not done her way. However, when I take the time to do everything that she asks, she still complains and becomes passive-aggressive. Additionally, my roommate loves to leave her bedroom door open and stare at me when I am in the living room. Further, when I am eating at the dining table, cooking in the kitchen, and doing laundry she loves to come outside of her bedroom and pretends to use her phone but really is staring me down. Now, her boyfriend has graduated and does not live at the apartment anymore, but she has taken over the whole apartment. So, I had to move out of the apartment that I am still paying for because she made it clear that she did not want me there and she did everything she could to get me to move out. So, I went and tried to find someone to take over my lease because I do not want to waste any money paying for an apartment that I do not live it. However, the only person I was able to have them take over my lease is a male and the apartment complex told me that my roommate feels uncomfortable with that. So, since she feels uncomfortable, he can’t move in until she moves out. The worst part is this guy lives in dorms and can’t wait until late January to move into the apartment because then he would have to pay for another semester of housing on campus. When I found that out, I decided to text her and ask her if she is moving out earlier than January 31st (her lease ends) since she is graduating December 15th. Well, she never responded, even though she was texting someone that I knew. Thus, I decided to go to the apartment three days after not hearing from her and ask her in person, no response. So, I left a friendly letter asking her to contact me as soon as possible. The next day, I still haven’t heard from her so I texted her again and she sent me a rude message and that same day went to the apartment to move a few things out. When I got to the apartment, the letter I wrote was crumbled and laying by my bedroom door. Now, I know she is being petty. I asked others for advice and they told me to move back in and make her want to leave after she graduates and to not be a doormat. Any other advice or do you agree? I NEED HELP!
Wall of text… very hard to parse. But… honestly, you let yourself get intimidated into moving out. Staring at you…so what? Taking space - if she doesn’t move it hedelf when you ask, take masking tape and mark off space in each storage place and label. Then put her stuff in her space, and yours in your space. If your lease has rules about guests, ask her to please follow them. Tell the apt complex people if she violates them. I agree with the others you asked that you should move back in. I wouldn’t try to “make her want to leave”. But assert your right to live there, too.
Actually, your roommate seems to be the one who needs help; you just need another roommate.
Yes, move back in and learn to be strong. Don’t back down from bullies. Ignore her and if she speaks rudely, tell her to leave you alone and go on about her life. Be decent if possible. If not possible, pretend you live alone and don’t hear or see her.
Sounds like time to divide things equally space, time, etc and follow that thereby avoiding arguments or fights over the little annoyances that keep coming up. You should not feel intimidated as it is your space as well. Move back in and hold your ground until you go your separate ways
Do you have a lease? If so, it is your apt too. Move back in. Talk to the landlord…let them know your apt mate is trying to freeze you out.
If she is taking up the whole cabinet/fridge…just move her stuff so you get a cabinet/shelf for your stuff.
Don’t engage with her.
How incredibly ironic that the roommate feels uncomfortable with a male being proposed to live there.
She is, of course, merely manipulating you and securing for herself space she wishes to inhabit until she is ready to make changes on her own terms, in her own time.
Move back in. Apologize to the proposed tenant, then, if roommate moves in truth, let him know the space is open.