Roommate walked in on me...how bad is that?

<p>I'm in a committed relationship and have been for a while, so naturally, and mind you occasionally, we have sex in my room. But she skipped her 9:00 class this morning and came back early while we were still lying in bed. I feel bad, and she's taking a lot of offense. She wouldn't talk to me for a while and finally told me I'm not allowed to have sex in this room because she's "tired of seeing it." (That was the first time she's ever walked in on anything...) </p>

<p>She's also said she doesn't want him hanging out in the room at all because it's "excessive" and we can hang out in his room if we want to see each other. This seems a bit much. It's my room too, and I don't like being told my boyfriend can't come over even to hang out.</p>

<p>She has things of hers I haven't gotten upset over: owing me money, asking for rides, sleeping with the TV on. It's not like I'm a sexfiend or this is a constant problem we have either. I just wanted to know if she's being a little too uptight or if I'm the one who's being insensitive to her wishes. Should I never use the room, just use more precaution, or just respect what she asks altogether?</p>

<p>Has anybody been in a similar situation?</p>

<p>I don't see why she objects to seeing the two of you in bed, if nothing was going on at the time. It's awkward to walk in on a roommate (having done it), but I also don't expect roommates to lead a sexless life just because they share a room with me. She ought to know to knock- and you should also be careful to be considerate too. Being sexiled isn't fun, but if you're respectful and make a real effort to not inconvenience her, I really don't think she has a right to decide what goes on in your own bed.</p>

<p>I'm sure you can figure out something where you can respect her feeling towards seeing this type of affection, and you can still enjoy your boyfriend. :)</p>

<p>Well I tried to post a similar situtation, but it apparently was deleted somehow.</p>

<p>wait I read it earlier- was it deleted joev?</p>

<p>I think that what your roommate is asking is unreasonable. Instead, it would make sense to decide when it's OK for each roommate to have private time when they won't be disturbed by the other roommate. What the person does with their private time is up to them unless it's something illegal. </p>

<p>It's reasonable to expect that if your roommate has a class, you then have private time. One also could do something like hang a tie on the door when it's not a good time for the roommate to walk in.</p>

<p>Yeah, I totally agree with that.</p>

<p>tell her she deserves it for not going to class like she should!</p>

<p>kidding aside, I believe she is being quite unreasonable. What you do in YOUR bed when it's normally YOUR private time should be YOUR business.</p>

<p>Cool. Thanks, all, for the advice. Just wanted to get, erm, an unbiased opinion.</p>

<p>i think you shdnt have sex in the room because that might be overdoing it a little if she's a conservative person or anything... but not having him over his madness! talk to her about it.</p>

<p>*maybe shes a closet lesbian with a huge ass crush on you lol.</p>

<p>Freshmen year, I walked in on my roommate all the time, and she walked in on me all the time. It got to be kind of a joke. An awkward one. It happens.</p>

<p>While I think your roommate was overreacting about walking in on you, I can see the validity of her feeling uncomfortable with your boyfriend being there a lot. It's tough enough to have a roommate at all sometimes, but having privacy/quiet time is even tougher with an extra party, especially one of the opposite sex. My roommates boyfriend has been living with us for quite sometime now. Literally living here. He keeps all of his stuff here. And doesn't go here. Although she's gotten in trouble with reslife for having a live-in boyfriend, he hasn't moved out, and it's incredibly frustrating for me.</p>

<p>I'm sure your roomie doesn't mean your boyfriend can't come over at all, but she's probably just fed up and wants some time to herself. It's understandable. Hang out at your bf's place for a while. Eventually his presence will be tolerated, but listen to her wishes for now.</p>

<p>I have a question along the same lines. My roommate has had her boyfriend sleep over and she never tells me, I just walk in at like 2 am and there's her boyfriend in the bed with her. I don't think they're having sex or anything, but it still makes me kind of uncomfortable having a guy in the room overnight. Should I tell her that this should stop or am I being too sensitive?</p>

<p>Tell her how you feel. If her boyfriend's roomate doesn't mind as much or he doesn't have one, then they can do the sleepover thing over there. If that isn't the case, I think its reasonable that her boyfriend sleep over (partially clothed) occassionally with some prior warning.</p>