my roommate is lesbian; I don’t have any issues with LGBT people, I just don’t know how comfortable it’ll be sharing a room with them, especially if I will be changing in the room. I know she isn’t there to hit on me, but idk how to bring this up or voice my issue without sounding conceited of homophobic (which I’m not)…
That’s an understandable concern, but lesbian women are not like straight men. They are not always thinking about sex; in fact, they think pretty much like you. Furthermore, I don’t think lesbian women are all that attractive to straight women. They’re just not.
When I was in college, my best friend/roommate was gay. I didn’t find out until ten years later when she finally came out to me. I’m glad I didn’t miss out on knowing her. She is one of the best people in the world. Relax and stay open to knowing people who are not like you. It’ll be fine.
I’m rooming with a bisexual girl. She has a girlfriend. I met my future roommate on Facebook but also got to meet her in person. She told me before we agreed to be roommates, just in case I wasn’t comfortable with it, but I am.
Chances are, you’ve slept in and changed in the same room as a girl who is lesbian or bisexual, whether that be someone at camp, a sleepover, the locker room, etc. Do you assume that every heterosexual guy is attracted to you and is checking you out? Probably not, because that’s a ridiculous thing to think. The same holds true for lesbian or bisexual girls; just because they like girls doesn’t mean they’ll do anything to make you feel uncomfortable.
I have a lot of lesbian/bi friends. I’ve slept in the same bed and changed in the same room as some of them, and never did I feel uncomfortable. Personally, I would feel LESS uncomfortable walking in on my roommate with another girl than I would walking in with some naked guy in my room. Same thing if her significant other wanted to sleep in our room and I didn’t know them.
As a lesbian, I’m with the other commenters. I completely understand why it might make you uncomfortable, but it’s really not something to worry too much about. We don’t go around checking out every girl we see, and even when we find a girl cute, if she’s straight, we know to respect that and to not make her uncomfortable. (This is just as much for us as it is for you, because trying to get romantically involved with a straight girl is like playing with fire.) The fact that she was nice enough to let you know immediately that she’s a lesbian shows that she’s being considerate, so you should have nothing to worry about. Personally, I’m not out to any of my suitemates, but since we each have a single, it’s not as big of a deal.
If you’re still uncomfortable about it, if you have a suite, perhaps you can change in the bathroom?
I’m gay myself, so I can assure you that you don’t need to worry about it at all. Just like straight people, we’re not automatically attracted to all individuals of the same sex. Most of us don’t even look twice at people we know are straight.
Changing in front of my roommate is definitely going to be awkward at first too, even though we’re both gay. I’ve never had to full out change everything in front of anyone before, but I know I’ll get used to it.
Remember that college is a time when you can be whomever you want to be, so this could be the first time she’ll be completely out of the closet. If she was anything like me, it was probably extremely difficult to even tell you about it up front. I know if I had been placed with a straight guy, I would’ve been terrified to tell him about it until I got a better feel for his views. Your roommate deserves great respect for what she has done.
Obviously she values your opinion, and I’m sure she’d be open if you wanted to communicate about this. Just don’t be ignorant about it. And if you want to establish certain guidelines with her, make sure you adhere to these same rules yourself. For example, if having a girl sleep over would make you uncomfortable, don’t be bringing guys home either.