<p>So yeah, quick question. I'm going to be a freshman come next fall and I managed to get a space in a 4 person suite dorm at my to-be home. I'm one of few of my friends actually in a dorm simply because I didn't join a frat... But thats a whole separate topic.</p>
<p>Anyway, I've been chatting with my 3 other roommates via email and I just found them all on facebook today. The first one is 23 and is a Brazilian international student who happens to be studying architecture (which is my major!). The other two are 21, and 20 respectively. But I'm only 18. While I could understand one of my roommates maybe being a year or two older, I have all 3 older. </p>
<p>It doesn't particularly bother me, but my parents are not happy. They believe with 2 people over the age of 21 in a single dorm, that I'm going to have basically an unlimited supply of alcohol. As well, they believe that individuals of that age will set a bad example for me, and they're alcohol, etc, will distract me from my studies.</p>
<p>My parents insist I need to switch rooms, but the problem is that I waited months, and filled out my housing information as early as possible just so I could get in a suite like I had wanted. If I was to back out now, I could very well be stuck without a room my freshman year on campus! Either that or I'll be throw into a dump of a room on campus.</p>
<p>My argument is that I really think I could benefit from rooming with not only an international student, but someone of my same major! As well, rooming with older people will make me more disciplined and mature. Not only that, but I think I'll have the opportunity to meet more people that I usually would, even if they are a couple years older. Finally, I'll be in college, not in the safety of my parents home, so it's about time I grow up.</p>
<p>In theory, people old enough to drink either have already seen the novelty of drinking wear off, or don’t care. This may not be the case in reality, but when people under 21 drink they sure seem to make a much bigger fuss about it. </p>
<p>Whatever you do will probably be your own choice.</p>
<p>Usually those 21+ will face severe consequences (including being kicked out of school) for giving alcohol to underage roommates. </p>
<p>You’re in college you’re an adult. I think you’re old enough to hand living with someone a few years older than yourself. Besides, access to alcohol in college isn’t exactly hard. If you want to drink, you’ll be able to find drinks on virtually any campus. If you don’t want to drink then dont. I think it should be your choice.</p>
<p>As a fellow 18 year old, I wouldn’t have any problem with that either. But I understand why your parents are concerned. Assure them that you’re mature enough to make your own decisions, and that it’s not like you’re moving in with three random 20-somethings you met on the street, they’re people pursuing higher education just like you.</p>
<p>Living with an international student is a luxury that I, fortunately, will also have this year. Get a different perspective on the world. Maybe even learn some Portuguese. Hell, you could even get a Brazilian perspective on architecture; they’re very into contemporary/futuristic design.</p>
<p>And for the love of God, don’t give up your suite unless it’s on fire. As a freshman, you’re lucky to live in anything bigger than a closet.</p>
<p>@wwlink - I always found this to be true, despite not even being 21. So you make a good point. I’m not gonna lie, I do party myself, but I’m disciplined and get good grades, etc. Even if its not the alcohol part direct, I think my parents have this fallacy that the 21 year old life style is much more “lavish” than that of an 18 year old… Thus distracting me, loosing focus, etc. Maybe more than just drinking, its just the age gap my parents are considered with.</p>
<p>@Lagging - Not that I want to disagree with you, but my brother was a freshman last year at college and had a beer fridge stocked 24/7 by some of the older kids on his floor. He never got in trouble despite the whole building knowing. As such, if there were those legally able to drink in the same room, it’d be a hundred times easier to defend my personal beer fridge. And like you said, even if my roommates aren’t going to get me a drink, I can no doubt get it myself elsewhere… My parents graduated like 30 years ago, so maybe there college experience was different then ours today and they see so much more danger in older friends/ roommates. Not only that, but (small story here), my mom’s sisters kids (who are now 26 and 22), well my mom has told me before how she didn’t like the age gap between them, because the younger one grew up so much faster… Maybe this isn’t helping my case.</p>
<p>@saman42 - You make an excellent point. They are there for a higher eduction as well. Damn thats a good one. I’m not gonna lie, one of my roommates looks kinda like a creeper on facebook, but I’m trying not to judge him until I actually meet him. And the international student to me was like an added bonus. My parents don’t yet know about his details, all they know is he’s 23, so maybe once I explain his major, and he is basically an exchange student, they’ll lighten up. And I couldn’t agree more! Pretty sure I turned in my housing application before my senior springbreak haha. I do not plan on relocating!</p>
<p>Agreed with upperclassmen not being as enamored by alcohol as freshmen. In my experience, people that are legally allowed to drink do so far more responsibly.</p>
<p>The novelty of drinking wears off the older you get. I mean yeah, it’s nice to kick back with a few friends and have a drink, but it’s not an “oh, I have to get drunk every weekend” kind of scenario. I’m on a dorm floor filled with sophomores as a senior next year. They’ll probably drink more than I do, actually, lol.</p>
<p>You will be too busy spending long hours in your arch studio to have time to drink.</p>
<p>And the fact that the older students are still living in university housing, instead of a private off campus apartment, maybe indicates they are not into a party lifestyle.</p>
<p>And older students drink a lot less than younger students enamored with all their new found freedoms…my youngest (now 21) jokes that he drank more in any one week of his first semester than he drinks in an entire semester now (and I am so glad I did not know that at the time!). Older students don’t think it is cool to get hammered…they are at a different point in their lives and consider that kind of behavior immature.</p>
<p>Honestly, it shouldn’t be a big deal. My roommate this year is 21, and my parents don’t care. But I also live in a “dry” sorority house, so they don’t expect us to have alcohol in our room. </p>
<p>Anyways, basically be like: “Mom, Dad, you did a good job raising me to know right and wrong and how to control myself, so I won’t let what my suite mates do interfere with my ultimate goal, which is getting an education.” Or something. Plus, having someone older than you in your major is a huge advantage of you need help with something.</p>
<p>Not going to lie, all of college is an unlimited supply of alcohol. The older roommates will probably spend most of their time away at the bars anyhow.</p>
<p>Your parents have normal reservations about this just like any other parents would. </p>
<p>As far as I know there is a policy at my school that will get you either suspended or expelled for having alcoholic beverages in the school suites and/or dorms. If I lived in a dorm I would certainly make sure there wasn’t any alcohol in the fridge if they enforced this rule. Otherwise, drink away.</p>
<p>Like the others have said, look into the school’s policy regarding giving alcohol to underaged roommates. I know my school you’re expelled and have to pay 80% of your housing cost if you’re caught giving alcohol to your minor roommate; there is a different policy though if you can prove they took it rather than received it. And being over 21, the novelty of drinking has worn off some. For some people, the idea of getting as smashed as you would in high school isn’t as appealing. Plus, your Brazilian roommate has been of legal drinking age at home for four years now. That may help your parents calm down some.</p>
<p>Have a talk with your folks, and assure them that they raised you to make better decisions. The points others have provided are good starts. We’re all going to school to better our educations, not party 24/7. And as an incoming freshman, tell them that having older roommates who have probably been attending the school a year or more is beneficial for you. They know the ropes of the school and can help you out if needed. Plus, I find that older students are more likely to watch out for each other.</p>
<p>I’m having the opposite problem though. My mom is worried that my roommate and a suite-mate are 21 and younger. She assumes they’re the partiers and I’ll be distracted.</p>
<p>Because, really, it’s remarkably irresponsible of the institution to put you into a rooming situation with other students whose stage of life is so much different from your own. It’s developmentally indefensible.</p>
<p>Honestly, it’s not that big of a deal. Last year, I had several roommates who were all 1-3 years older than I am. I appreciated being around students who were a bit more mature and focused. Since they were older and had already been through many of the things I was dealing with, they were also able to offer good advice and helped me out quite a bit. I saw it as an advantage that I was lucky to have. If you know an older student who shares your major, that’s even better. They can recommend certain classes/professors and perhaps help you if you’re struggling with something. </p>
<p>As far as alcohol, my roommates occasionally had a few beers in the fridge, but it never caused a problem since no one was a big drinker. They had their own stuff to worry about and didn’t have the time, energy, or desire to get drunk every night. When they did drink, they usually went out to bars. Like many others have said, it’s often the freshman who are having sloppy, drunken nights on a regular basis. When the 21+ students drink, they’re often more responsible and less embarrassing about it.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the responses guys! I got my parents on my side about the whole situation so it looks like I’m good to go. </p>
<p>I did, however, do some research on the alcohol policies and stuff. I’ll be at Kansas University in the fall (KU), and the first line under the heading “Alcohol” in the student housing handbook reads this: “Cereal malt beverages and alcoholic liquor may not be brought into or consumed in educational buildings or in university student housing facilities.” So I guess even with older roommates we’re not supposed to have it. Now I still plan on having some, but it’s not like I’m gonna be raging in my dorm room.</p>
<p>You both are right. You can benefit just like you listed but you could fall victim to drinking. It will be up to you how you handle it. Do you plan to get drunk? Do you plan to party instead of studying? Older students tend to handle alchohol better since they may have already balance school with drinking or not drinking.</p>
<p>@momof3greatgirls - I’ll assume your a parent so I can understand your concern when I say that. I can assure you I’m responsible and understand the schoolwork comes first. I killed myself to get into the program I wanted to at KU and I don’t plan on leaving my first semester. Like most other freshman, yes, I plan on partying on weekends, assuming I have the free time to do it. Whether that be hitting up bars or house parties, or just casually cracking a beer in my dorm. I think having older roommates should be an advantage in that regard, as they are more “time tested” to know when it’s acceptable to be partying, and when its not.</p>
My mom is worried that my roommate and a suite-mate are 21 and younger. She assumes they’re the partiers and I’ll be distracted.</p>