Rush and alcohol consumption has me concerned

<p>I am the parent of a 17, who has rushed and is now pledging. My son has had a couple episodes of binge drinking and I am very concerned. Are there any other parents or undergrads or recent grads out there who can share some insight into this? I am sure it has improved somewhat since I was an undergraduate, but fundamentally it is a drinking bro culture.</p>

<p>bjorncode12 I’m a parent of students in college right now, at colleges relatively comparable to Dartmouth in terms of selectivity. I don’t know if I have the answer for you, but I wanted you to know that I support your concern about your son and his binge drinking. </p>

<p>When my kids went off to college I was honest with them about binge drinking. I told them that when I was in college I did it. But I also told them very sincerely that here was never one single thing good that came from the binge drinking, and many many bad things, and that I regretted doing it. I told them what the bad things were: loss of productivity the next day, physical sickness and decline, loss of control and potential personal embarrassment, loss of control and potential legal trouble, etc. I told reminded them it is very possible to have fun without binge drinking, which they did successfully in HS.</p>

<p>I suppose I’m old fashioned so I couldn’t go ahead and say to them that they should drink in moderation in college. My official stance with my kids it that it is against the law to drink alchohol before 21 and (in most States) it is against the law to smoke marijuana, so as far as I was concerned, they should not violate the law and drink and / or smoke. I wanted them to know clearly where I stood on that.</p>

<p>I’ve also been frank with them that I believe that later in life alchoholic beverages can be a great source of pleasure in life. There is infinite variety and pleasure to be derived from good wine, beer, scotch, etc, but that you must be moderate in your consumption or the pleasure turns to pain. And never, never, never drink and drive, or ride with anyone who is driving after drinking.</p>

<p>As far as peer pressure and the fraternity culture goes, I am familiar with it because I was a part of a fraternity where that was a big part of the experience. But I clearly remember that about a third of our frat house was made up of moderate to no drinkers. Honestly, I respected these people for their stance and so did everyone else. And this was three decades ago during the dark ages! Also, as I look back, it was the non-binge drinkers who ended up the most successful in life. </p>

<p>My kids have not totally abstained in college, I’m pretty sure, and in fact my son told me about a fraternity experience where he had a beer or two. But I believe that the binge drinking has not been an issue for them (knock on wood) so far.</p>

<p>Basically it is a matter of self interest. It’s just better not to binge drink. Your son is intelligent so he will understand that, in my opinion. </p>

<p>It’s a tough one, and as a parent I feel your pain. I truly hope that your son can pull back and, if not abstain altogether, then maybe start controlling his consumption. It will just be better for him all the way around. </p>

<p>@bjorncode this article makes it sound like there is no more pledging.
<a href=“Wesleyan, Dartmouth Demand Major Reforms At Fraternities Amid Rising Criticism | HuffPost College”>http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5863616&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>You could inquire with IFC or Dean of Students.</p>

<p>@Hippobirdy, the fraternities decided to do away with pledge TERM, not with pledging. Pledge term is traditionally–everywhere, not just at Dartmouth–a period when the pledge class is asked to learn about the house and do things ranging from worthwhile to silly through potentially humiliating or dangerous–before earning full brotherhood. Think of it as basic training: supposed to build brotherhood and so on. That’s the idea, anyway. Unfortunately, it all too often leads to hazing. That’s why they are doing away with it. </p>

<p>Binge drinking is a problem for all college students, especially freshmen with no experience of drinking who suddenly have free access to alcohol. The fraternities mostly serve weak beer at their parties. Of course, some people drink hard alcohol. Plenty of it is drunk at dorm parties. Lots of freshmen “pregame” in the dorm ad come to a fraternity already reeling. (This is not limited to Dartmouth, obviously.) I think all we can do is educate our kids and hope.</p>

<p>Personally, I assumed that my kid was going to drink in college, although he didn’t in HS. I told him that there was a big difference between drinking a few–or even six–beers over the course of a long evening, and pounding down a six pack as fast as possible to get drunk. I encouraged him to take it easy, if he chose to drink. I also told him that I would rather he smoked pot than drinking heavily, since no one ever died of pot poisoning. I think pot should be legalized, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise to him, since intellectual honesty is important to both of us.</p>

<p>I suggest that if anyone wants more perspective on fraternities at D they read this article and others:</p>

<p><a href=“http://thedartmouth.com/2014/10/17/greek/quick-takes”>http://thedartmouth.com/2014/10/17/greek/quick-takes&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>ETA: My S had a couple of friends who really seemed to have a problem with alcohol, which we talked about. He clearly knew the difference between their habits and those of an adult who drinks in moderation. Luckily, I have the impression that they have both turned the corner on that, and are managing fine in the working world.</p>

<p>@Consolation‌ thank you.
For @bjorncode12 whether your S will be offered opportunity or encouraged to binge drink will depend on students in charge of pledging and their frat’s traditions.
I find it notable that the student paper have this position against the Greek system.
<a href=“http://thedartmouth.com/2014/10/17/opinion/verbum-ultimum-abolish-the-greek-system”>http://thedartmouth.com/2014/10/17/opinion/verbum-ultimum-abolish-the-greek-system&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>@bjorncode12‌ you may be able to find out about the frat, whether the IFC has fined it, whether the Admin has placed sanctions, whether there are legal proceedings pending such as this case
<a href=“http://www.unionleader.com/article/20130620/NEWS03/130629850&template=mobileart”>http://www.unionleader.com/article/20130620/NEWS03/130629850&template=mobileart&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Hippobirdy, that article got some attention a few days ago, but that is the stance of the editorial staff of the paper, not of the student body as a whole. I am always perplexed as why people think that doing away with the Greek system is going to be a game changer. </p>

<p>@Hippobirdy, let’s be realistic. I think that one can safely say that EVERY fraternity at Dartmouth has served alcohol to underage drinkers. On a regular basis. I also think one can safely say that there are many unaffiliated and affiliated students who have purchased alcohol for underage drinkers. If not, how would they get it? You need to realize that if a student pregames on vodka in his or her dorm, and then goes out to a fraternity party where he or she has one weak beer, if that drunken student is picked up by the police, s/he will be asked where s/he has been drinking. If that student says s/he had a drink at frat XYZ, they have an alcohol violation. It is also the case that if a house (or anyone else) makes a Good Sam call for a drunken student, that the police follow the ambulance to the hospital and interview the student, with the same result. Even if the student drank 10 shots of vodka before setting foot outside the dorm. The degree to which this is done depends on the current attitude of the Hanover Police. A former police chief, I believe, started the thing of following Good Sam calls, which kind of defeats the purpose of Good Sam, doesn’t it?</p>

<p>I must say, all of this was much more straightforward when I was in college, because the drinking age was 18. Yes, we were known to get drunk. Yes, we did stupid things. But I do not recall knowing a single person who was ever hospitalized for alcohol poisoning, or spent the night in a drunk tank. I think we ought to go back to it.</p>

<p>Believe me, I am not saying binge drinking is harmless, quite the reverse.</p>

<p>Something that is very different about the Greek scene at D is that it is extremely open. Anyone with a Dartmouth ID is welcome. (There are some private meetings and events, obviously.) The houses range widely, and most do not foster the kind of exclusive atmosphere one might find elsewhere. These are some of the reasons that so many participate, who wouldn’t have considered it at another school. </p>

<p>I was in college at a small liberal arts college in the mid 1980s and binge drinking was prevalent back then too.</p>

<p>You also need to be concerned with the long term relationship between binge drinking and alcohol dependancy syndrome down the road. 11% of college age binge drinkers go on to develope problems with chronic alcohol abuse and all the misery it brings. 89% have no problem but an 11% risk is not acceptable for our countries brightest students. Students need more education on the risks of bing drinking. This is true at all universities. Talk to your son!</p>

<p>I am guessing that the author is not a parent of a current student but someone who wants to project the image of Dartmouth as one of binge drinking. Sorry that you did not bring up your child in a way that would allow your child to function in an appropriate way at an elite college. Maybe you should insist your child stay home next semester. Withdrawing tuition usually works.</p>

<p>Lostaccount: Yea you might be right unfortunately. The use of the phrase, “drinking bro culture” should have been the tip off, haha. </p>

<p>It’s a shame because binge drinking and other types of alcohol abuse hurt the whole society. It’s an issue at Dartmouth but it is an issue on every other campus in the United States. </p>