<p>I'm a commuter student, so it is hard for me to make friends. I label myself as quite outgoing, and I can basically strike conversations with people in my class. I talk to one or two people in two of my classes. The thing is, all the people I talk to in class usually go somewhere after class, so I don't have any chance to hang out with them. Some of them have their own group of friends. </p>
<p>When I go to clubs, the same things happen. I met people, got a bunch of numbers, but never really talk to them afterwards anymore. Many people in my school usually go to events hosted by the clubs, but not the weekly meetings. I would go to this event, had a really great time with those people, got their number and that's it. I don't see them again because they don't go to meetings. </p>
<p>I know I should give them a call/text, and I did once or twice in the past. I just don't want to come off as desperate, so I usually don't text people first anymore. It's a bit weird to ask someone out to shopping, movie or a drink after only meeting them for one time. And the times when I do initiate and invite them to somewhere, they will have plans and I feel discouraged to ask again the next time.</p>
<p>It is so hard to make friends. I believe I am quite outgoing, but I feel like I have so many acquaintance and no close friend. It feels useless to make "friends" with these acquaintance because they don't call me or text me afterwards. </p>
<p>How can I find my own group of friends....?
From your experience, do people text you first or you text them after exchanging numbers?</p>
<p>My question for you is if someone else texted you first to hang out would you consider them desperate?</p>
<p>Someone has to initiate the contact, and there’s no reason it should be everyone else and not you. Perhaps, they are in a similar situation where they feel weird texting you first. Either you can decide that you’re fine with the way things are, or you can do something to change it. It’s really up to you.</p>
<p>If someone is busy, don’t be discouraged. Try again another time. Perhaps, you can ask when they’re free to hang out or get food or do this fun new thing that you want to try. I’ve found that a lot of people who think that others are “always busy” are those who tend to ask their friends to do something at the last minute. People often make plans to do things on Friday night or the weekend or any other time of the week, so if someone’s busy one weekend, why don’t you just ask them what they’re doing the next weekend or if they have some free time to hang out at another time?</p>
<p>You’re expecting everyone else to do something that you don’t want to do, and that’s just unrealistic (and clearly is not working for you).</p>
<p>Can you start a Commuter-Students club with outings, gatherings, etc.? Even finding three other students who might want to work on this effort with you could result in some new people open to friendship in your life. </p>
<p>I’m kinda the same way. This guy who I am kinda friends with asked told me we should catch up and to text him my number. But I was too shy to. I was waiting for him to see me again to ask. I saw him today in class and he didn’t ask. This shows I need to not depend on someone else to take action first.</p>