<p>One of my kids suffers from a chronic illness that had a huge impact on her adolescence. Her essay did not mention it. She wrote an impressionist essay about getting up in the morning at our house, no big substance, just an essay with nice style and vibe.</p>
<p>However, since her illness had impacted attendance at high school, she wrote something brief in the supplemental essay, just a sketch about the moment of diagnosis at age 4.</p>
<p>The guidance counselor wrote a note as well, which was no doubt more explicit, because, again, the pattern of her attendance required explanation.</p>
<p>The issue of “using” life experiences, particularly those involving others, is a good one to ponder. I would feel squeamish about it, and leave what is private, as private as possible. But that is just me.</p>
<p>The other issue is whether or not to base one’s identity on hardship. This was what kept our daughter from writing an essay about difficult experiences. It wasn’t a matter of what admissions would be impressed with: surely, overcoming obstacles is seen as a plus by admissions. But she did not want to base her identity on illness or any other hardship.</p>
<p>Perhaps the real way to overcome what you have gone through is to not mention it at all. Or if it truly impacted your life, in a way that requires explanation, then either write something brief in the supplemental essay or have your guidance counselor inform them.</p>
<p>Just my own thoughts: others will differ. And certainly, writing about your hard experiences can be helpful for acceptance, if done right. I just think it is sort of emotionally unhealthy in some cases.</p>
<p>My D who is an amazing writer,came up to me and said she is trying to start working on her college essay but she can’t find any important event or any tragedies in her life she can write about. Thanks to god it has been almost perfect. She just wants to write about something fun which is a good read but relevant to her and about her life. Would colleges accept only if you have a cliche’ story to tell or can she just be herself and write what she likes?</p>
<p>I would rather read an interesting essay about caving and mountaineering and what you get out of them (and put into them), as opposed to the tragedy.</p>
<p>You have to keep in mind your audience you are writing. The Admissions Officer might have read hundreds (thousands?) of stories similar to yours. He/she might also have the frame of reference as to how those previous accepted applicants did at college. If I were an Admissions Officer I would ask myself “Why are you telling me this?” Is it justifying a grade slip, a tug on my heart strings asking for a favor. The College Admissions Officer might have 100 sadder stories and yours looks pale in comparison.</p>
<p>Remember the M<em>A</em>S*H episode where Klinger was all broken up about his mother dying. To the audience it seemed like a sad story until the dispassionate Henry Blake read thru all the other heart breaking letters that had allegedly come from Klinger’s family over the year. Klinger’s ulterior motive was quickly found out and it was good for a chuckle. I picture College Admissions Officers similar to Henry Blake; they have files of sad applications and they perhaps jaded when the applicant goes down that path.</p>
<p>I will not write an essay about my boyfriend, maybe just bring up the event in an essay about mountaineering/ caving and how I started loving these activities (or probably not bring it up at all). Actually this would be much more comfortable for me because I’ve always been the tough/masculine kind of girl and I swear no one has ever seen me sad or crying except for the funeral day, so I would definitely not want the admission officers to shed tears as they read. I would have to be a hypocrite.</p>
<p>Your pieces of advice have indeed lifted a weight off my chest because I had initially decided I wouldn’t write about it but then I asked myself: ‘What if I should write?’ and well… here I am.</p>
<p>And btw, many of you have apparently misunderstood what I said. After his death, my grades remained the same ( straight A’s, or 10’s in my country) and my performances in Mathematics/ Chemistry were quite outstanding because I found refuge in studying all the time. I would spend all my spare time studying in order to try to stop the pain.</p>
<p>I personally find something wrong with using someone’s death (or debilitating illness or what not) to help get into college. Not saying someone who writes about death is a bad person- more often than not they aren’t thinking about getting in while doing so. But still, that’s the end-result, and surely the thought of getting accepted with this essay must be at play somewhere in the background.</p>