<p>^^ Too true, TD. And that goes for our sons and our husbands. Luckily, the vast majority of people on this earth are good and helpful.</p>
<p>Monydad, the three girls didn't go to the same high school but they were all going to or attended Kansas State. Living in a nearby neighborhood- closer to the one the girl was killed at the pool- is scary. It is some deranged guy but he takes away all of our sense of security. It was early on a Saturday night in a populated area, her dad was in law enforcement and he looked like a normal everyday guy (we all want them to look like a creep) We all want to trust the guy next to us in line in a "good area". Her boyfriend went to my kids school- how hard to for him- knowing if he had just gone with her but she was picking up an anniversary present for him (a scrapbbok for their momentos). The articles in the paper, the newscasters, everyone around is just so heartbroken.</p>
<p>he looked like a normal everyday guy (we all want them to look like a creep
nice looking guys are more "successful"- even in their criminal activities</p>
<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Bundy%5B/url%5D">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Bundy</a></p>
<p>While in college, I was "visited" by the famous Jack the duct-taper at UNC_CH. Guess how he got in my apartment?? Someone left the door unlocked! When you live with 2 or 3 other people, you lose some control over house/apartment security. Eveyone focuses in on outdoor situations, which is great, but many many horrible things happen behind closed doors. And it's needless. No greater nightmare than waking up in the night to a stranger's face. Tell your daughters-- check, double check your doors and windows! And again, as people have said before...your vocal chords are your best weapons.</p>
<p>Edit: I named him Jack the duct taper, actually I don't know what his name was. He ended up guilty on something like 21 counts of sexual assault though. Good work!</p>
<p>One can worry oneself into paralysis with all the horrible "what ifs". Yes, awful things can happen; yes, women need to be prepared and not put themselves in unnecessary danger (ie walking alone at 2 a.m.). </p>
<p>However, after a certain point, one can let fear dictate her life, and a life compromised by fear is really no life at all.</p>
<p>Move to a safer country.</p>
<p>mini, how is that helpful? I'm not advocating going through life looking over the shoulder. But really, a little common sense can go a long way. No need to live in fear, live in power.</p>
<p>The least safe place for a female in her late teens is a college campus. The number of rapes, sexual assaults, and general assaults is absolutely astonishing. Second least safe place is a public high school. </p>
<p>My mother always told me that the best way to be safe is simply not to visit those places which are known not to be. People who obey the law (and don't drink before age 21) are much, much less likely to be assaulted.</p>
<p>If you choose places where the people around you are less likely to be flaunting their disregard for the law, you will be safer as well. Works a heck of a lot better than whistles or "self-defense".</p>
<p>OK I don't mean to seem like I'm taking this personally, but I was neither breaking the law nor drunk when I was so rudely awakened by an intruder. And guess what? He turned out to be a squeaky clean kind of guy, in terms of police record (don't know about his drinking habits). Perverts and rapists come in all sizes, colors, types.</p>
<p>"If you choose places..." OK, I guess it's a girl's fault to sleep in her own bed.</p>
<p>The plural of anecdote is not evidence. </p>
<p>The question was what can be done to provide safety for our daughters, and I simply provided the best advice I could, given what is known statistically. </p>
<p>"OK, I guess it's a girl's fault to sleep in her own bed."</p>
<p>As suggested above, some beds are more dangerous than others.</p>
<p>As suggested above, some beds are more dangerous than others.</p>
<p>And? You come onto a thread about coed safety, make a remark that is pretty flippant, respond to my post with a remark suggesting that you (I?) could avoid danger by not 1. drinking or 2. associating with certain types, then suggest something like this?^^^^^</p>
<p>WTH?</p>
<p>And what does this mean? The plural of anecdote is not evidence.</p>
<p>Look up police/court records from around 1983, Chapel Hill.</p>
<p>However, after a certain point, one can let fear dictate her life, and a life compromised by fear is really no life at all.</p>
<p>Yes I agree-
thats why I would encourage people to take personal responsibilty for themselves to be informed as they can be about whatever situation they might be in.
But while I think we can make informed choices, and adapt our behavior accordingly, I wouldn't advocate staying locked in your room, just because you are worried about getting hit by a bus.
My oldest lives in a city in another state and rides her bike everywhere, she is "relatively" street savvy, at least Im assuming she has increased her awareness so that when a carful of gangbangers drive by and yell "complimentary" suggestions out the window, she doesn't go out into the middle of the street and yell "uncomplimentary" suggestions, back at them, like I have seen her do. :rolleyes:</p>
<p>My younger D also attends school in an "innercity" neighborhood, ( by innercity- I don't mean housing costs so much as crime rate ) loves to go surfing and snowboarding, plays rugby and has been planning a trip to the Australian outback for the past couple years ( to study sharks)
I think I * would* have to lock * her* in her room, if I was more interested in her reducing "risks" , than I was in encouraging her to follow her passion.</p>
<p>However- you can reduce risk- but in order to do that, you have to acknowledge it is there.</p>
<p>Everyday we see people who have made the decision to eat whatever, do whatever, because if they admit that what they are doing could cause damage to them, then they would have to admit that they are not immortal & they can't handle that.</p>
<p>Taking calculated risk, is a totally different thing than either staying in your room or pretending that risk doesn't exist.</p>
<p>My oldest daughter kinda worries me. She wanted to go to the ATM late on Sat. night (11:00 p.m.) -- park in a parking garage, ATM not visible from the street -- and I said no way. She kept insisting it would be fine, esp. because I was along and still I said no, unnecessary risk, can do the ATM the next day, in day light when lots of people around. Still she thought I was the most fear crazed fuddy duddy. I'm hoping that the message about not making yourself a target is soaking in, even if she does like to argue with me.</p>
<p>For what it's worth:</p>
<p>"Monydad, the three girls didn't go to the same high school "</p>
<p>If you do a search on the victims names and the high school name I believe you will find that they each did attend that same high school. They attended at different times though.</p>
<p>And specifically, I believe that high school is your kids' school.</p>
<p>"but they were all going to or attended Kansas State."
True for the first two, and also the most recent victim. However the third was still at that high school and had not yet applied to college.</p>
<p>The pool in question is just a few blocks away from where the parents of the first victim live.</p>
<p>Mini--that a high numberof crimes happen to young women in college campuses and high schools might just have to do with the fact that this is where they are. You have not proved through numbers that those places are more dangerous; you need to have the percentage of crimes there in a ratio to the chances that that's where a young woman is.</p>
<p>Several years ago, my daughter was severely beaten while jogging through the park near our house, three in the afternoon on a sunny summer day. you just never know when some punk decides he needs to prove he belongs in the gang.</p>
<p>Broken nose, bruised kidney, two black eyes. The hardest thing I have ever done was watch her get on a plane to Ireland for her study abroad a week later, looking like that. The Irish and other folks she went to class with sure got a startling image of America.</p>
<p>I hesitated to even post on this thread, because I've been told on these boards before that it was, basically, her fault for somehow not avoiding it, but I have to say your flippancy is a little sickening to me.</p>
<p>Of course, men can be in danger, too. The only severe violence I am personally familiar with was commited against men. One was a high school kid I know who had seven bones broken in his face alone. The other was an adult family member who was thought to be in a gang and was very seriously beaten in front of his young son. He no longer walks with a cane (over ten years later), but his recovery was a very long road. I know several male victims of rape. The most recent string of attacks near my college have almost all been against men. Unfortunately, many men do not take safety precautions because they believe that they are safe.</p>
<p>Ive also seen men behave as if not only that they are safe, but actually tempting mishaps- taunting someone bigger and angrier than they are, certainly driving more recklessly, and putting themselves into situations that they think they can handle, just becuase in the past "nothing has happened" even though the situation in itself is risky.</p>
<p>The neighborhood by my daughters highschool attracts those who come from 10, 20 miles away to pick fights, to buy drugs/weapons.
Then according to Barrons, they move on to the frat row by the UW to do the same thing. ( to harrass the students anyway)</p>
<p>Over the past couple years students from her high school walking to the public bus stop or home have been targeted. Assaulted, robbed or even just hassled.Boys have had a tougher time of it, I don't know if they are targeted more often than girls, if they are more likely to be walking home by themselves instead of with 5 friends, or if they try and fight rather than run or get help.</p>
<p>So I would agree that everyone needs to be aware and not oblivious of their surroundings, not just women.</p>
<p>Doubleplay; my condolences for your awful assault. :( Thank you for sharing it with us; it brings home how important it is for us to teach our own kids about safety rules, especially in the home. (and Mini, for Chris* sake, would you have a little sensitivity here!) Garland, you poor dear, and your poor daughter! My condolences to you, too. :(</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>ANSWER:
It isn't. And that ridiculous comment had NO place on this excellent thread. Really, mini, if you can't contribute something worthwhile, then why don't you try a little restraint? :confused: You're just making yourself look foolish.</p>
<p>handgun training and a concealed carry permit.</p>