What do you do when your child falls in love with the safety school, even though accepted to the more prestigious schools?The love is based on lifestyle, not the academic program per se. The major is Civil Engineering, which is not a particularly strong program at the safety school. I think he just liked the outdoor adventure program, the pool with surfing lessons, hiking out the back door of the dorm, skiing on the weekends, that sort of thing. Part of me thinks, engineering is a tough field and one might as well study it in a place like that, but the other part thinks he will have more options to live his whole life in such a setting if he gets his degree from a top program, not just four (or five or six). Ugh, we never should have taken him for a visit, but we did not know when we booked the airline tickets that he’d have such good options.
Yes…engineering is a tough field…and one might as well study in a place where one wants to be!
I assume the safety school has ABET accreditation in Civil engineering.
Your other threads indicate acceptances to a bunch of schools in the upper Midwest. they all looked fine to me!
What’s wrong with letting them go to the safety?
I mean, yeah, you gave your reasons, but (a) college is one of our culture’s agreed-upon transitions to adulthood and taking responsibility for one’s own life, and (b) he’s going to have to live at the school for four years, not you, so it’s pretty important that he like it.
ETA: Assuming the safety is ABET accredited, of course.
@msd228 It sounds to me like our children chose the same school for the same reasons… ) except my D chose Mechanical Engineering. It was definitely her “safe school” and she has been accepted to higher ranked/more selective ones. Money is fairly comparable at all of the schools so that is not a factor. We said at the outset that we would be happy (and she should be happy) with any school she applied. It has to be a good fit academically, socially, geographically and all the other “ally’s” and we are thrilled she is so happy with her choice. That being said - There is the honors program and other things to do to make it more academically challenging - if that is what he is looking for. Finally - as this is completely her decision - my hope is she will own it and do her very best to prove to herself and us that she made the right choice instead of resenting us for pushing her somewhere she doesn’t want to be. There are so many articles that say it is not where you go to school but what you do while you are there - so that is what we are going with.
Which one can you better afford or is cost not an issue?
I say yea! for having a kid who doesn’t let prestige define them – assuming, as others have said, that the school is accredited and has reasonable job placement, etc.
Assuming the program he likes is ABET accredited, and he works hard in school, there is nothing that will hold him back from getting the job he wants by attending his safety. Safeties can be great schools, and in some cases, better than the schools which are harder to get into. You must factor personal fit into the equation as it plays a big part in staying happy and motivated, both of which are important for success.
It doesn’t really work like that, especially in engineering. His career options will ultimately be a function of his performance in college, not the prestige level of the college he attends.
Assuming the school is affordable, and he really likes it, I think it sounds like a great option.
@rdtsmith Cost is fortunately not an issue, although the distance would pose some challenges with getting him to school. Of course many parents have been through all of that and I’m sure we could too! But I won’t be likely to jump on a jet to go see him 
Possibly a plus in his mind LOL
He has not visited the most highly ranked program yet so I will insist he do so before committing. That visit is not until the end of the month.
There is something to be said for waking up to sun every day and not having to worry about trudging to class in 6 ft of snow.
If it is comfortably affordable, has ABET accredited civil engineering (either direct admit to the major or without excessive difficulty entering the major), and is his first choice, what is wrong with that?
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/engineering-majors/1862105-civil-engineering-at-uiuc-purdue-umn-uw-utah.html is a previous thread listing some schools. Virginia Tech and Alabama (with Presidential Scholarship) are mentioned in other previous threads.
My D1 fell for her safety and attended it. She decided she liked it just as much as higher ranked colleges she got into, and they gave her nice merit aid. She had a great experience – graduated Phi Beta Kappa, had her senior thesis nominated as one of the top 60 in her major nationwide, and got a great job after graduation. Your kid is the one going to college, not you – let him make the decision. Put any jonesing you have for prestige and bragging rights away – this is about the experience he wants to have.
It was kind of ironic that the faculty member who gave us a tour of her lab got all of her degrees at the top school.I told her we were visiting there next and asked if we should tell anyone there that we met her and she replied how there was a picture of her on every wall in the CE building because she was so involved in clubs etc. She obviously loved it! Maybe my son will as well.
Our goal is to ensure a quality education that will lead to good job opportunities so I compared the number of companies recruiting at the top and bottom schools’ Civil Eng job fairs and the difference was striking (75-20). We don’t think college should be about the amenities. Guess we’re old fashioned that way!
Safety=affordable+likely to be admitted+happy to attend. ABET accredited, direct admit and your student loves the idea of living there! Sounds like a your student found their “fit.” That’s a wonderful thing.
“Top” PhD programs produce far more PhDs than are needed to replace retiring or departing faculty members at “top” departments. While engineering PhDs do have an outlet to industry work, many of the graduates of “top” PhD programs do go on to faculty jobs at other departments at other schools.
For some kids, part of the college education is going to a different region of the country. That experience can be important and enriching and create a well rounded experience. Perhaps some of that is at play here
Thanks for listening! We shall see how this all plays out.
Some kids really thrive being the big fish in the smaller pond. He could get some great opportunities being a big stand out at the safety school.
If this is th school referenced up,thread…it is not a clunker school for. Engineering students.
Years ago my ex turned down MIT in favor of his safety-a state flagship, clearly a “lesser” school, because it was closer to good skiing. He graduated debt-free and has worked at some of the premier software/computer companies in the world. He DID go skiing, often, at some of the best ski mountains in this country, and is still friends with some of his classmates 30+ years later. Most of them went on to do quite well too, even going to a “lower ranked” college.
My roommate one year at MY state flagship was a chem E major, who chose it because of her boyfriend. She went on to be scooped up by one of the top companies and has her name attached to an product that many of us consume every day.
It’s REALLY not all about rank. Your kiddo sounds like a smart, sensible guy who wants to balance out hard work with doing the things he enjoys in the off hours. Let him.
What to do? Pay the deposit, fill out the housing form, sign up for orientation, buy the sweatshirt, book your summer vacation, reserve a hotel for move in weekend and enjoy the rest of senior year! 