sample of academic work question

<p>I am now in an english elective called "Gender and Sexuality." I wrote a strong essay earlier this year, but some of the quotes wouldn't exactly get a PG rating. Would anyone here be willing to read the essay and see if it would be inappropriate? Perhaps a parent, so I could get an unbiased opinion? Thank you so much!</p>

<p>I met a student at Swarthmore who supposedly used the f-bomb a handful of times in his Why Swarthmore? essay. I don't think they're very squeamish!</p>

<p>There's a quote in my essay about gay oral sex with 9 year olds. I don't actually say anything inappropriate about it, but just the quote itself is a bit... shocking. (The essay is arguing that a gay man in a story we read is actually more in line with the ideals of masculinity than a coward turned macho man character, criticizing the macho man for being secretly insecure and showing how confident/secure/honest the gay man is... you can probably figure out how the quote fits into the context of the essay)</p>

<p>Sure you can send me via email. I am not usually shocked by anything!</p>

<p>Got it. I'll reply in the evening if you don't mind.</p>

<p>Hi, I would ask other people's opinion on this as well, not just mine...</p>

<p>Sounds good. Interesteddad, would you be willing to read the essay and tell me 1) if it is appropriate and 2) if it would add to my application? Thanks so much!</p>

<p>So is this ok?
The paragraph in question: </p>

<p>Paul’s version of masculinity comes off as being far more positive than Francis’. Paul
grows into a confident, self-assured man who is comfortable with who he is. Unlike Francis, he realizes that his desperate plea to be accepted is bound to fail, and that someone will eventually see that it is all an act. He looks back on his youth with disgust towards the “ventriloquism, the learning how to pass for straight” (2). This constant pressure to try to be what he was not, or to at least appear to be what he was not, ruled much of his childhood. A ventriloquist, as with Paul, must be very careful not to slip, for the slightest mistake, the smallest movement of the lips, will confirm that it is all an act. The most impressive sign of Paul’s transformation is his honesty about a subject that is still far from socially acceptable. He graphically describes his sexual interaction with Kite, telling how in the middle of a hurricane one day they “stripped naked and wrestled on the plank floor… I think that was the day that we discovered sixty-nine, though here I am probably editing memory shamelessly… Yet here in the tree, in our animal coupling, it was the two of us who seemed to generate the rising wind and rain” (26-27). Paul does not sugar coat his language in an effort not to shock the reader, nor does he try to justify his behavior; he simply tells it like it is, if anything emphasizing the animal behavior through phrases like “we stripped naked and wrestled” and “animal coupling.” Nor does he tone down the description of what happened between the two boys, openly declaring that at the young age of nine he and Kite gave each other oral sex. Paul’s candor about a topic that is still considered to be social taboo is refreshing. It takes a very secure person to be able to write a book about oneself with this degree of frankness. The fact that he does not try to explain or justify any of his behavior, instead simply pouring out his heart onto the paper, shows an incredible degree of courage. The very characteristics that Wilson and Francis were striving for—courage, strength, and power—are exemplified in Paul’s novel. Unlike with Wilson and Francis, however, Paul embraces these qualities at a much deeper level. He has gone beyond simply trying to appear to be strong and brave, and has gained a certain internal power by no longer being tied to society needing society’s acceptance. In the end, he becomes completely comfortable with himself, and, in doing so, proves that he is closer to the masculine ideal than Wilson or Francis.</p>

<p>Marlgirl, the reason I am having second thoughts about this is: I did not think it was inappropriate but what would this do to your overall application? Will it enhance it? Why would an essay you wrote in English class be considered anything out of the ordinary? I think maybe creative writing, a play your wrote, art portfolio, photographs etc. would enhance an application. But just sending an essay because they say you could send one does not add more to the application, does it? That's why I asked you to get other opinions. But on the other hand, I don't know the rest of your application, and you said you were a math/science person, so this could say that you are capable of literary criticism as well.....</p>

<p>I don't think the essay is inappropriate. </p>

<p>I really don't have any advice on whether sending an essay from a high school class is beneficial or not. I doubt that it would hurt, but I also have trouble imagining too many scenarios where it would help.</p>

<p>My daughter did not send in a sample of high school work, but I wouldn't use that as a general guideline. She just couldn't think of anything that would be particularly relevent or that passed the ultimate test: will adding this increase my chances of acceptance?</p>

<p>I guess what I'm saying is that the decision to attach the essay or not is probably not a big deal. [note: I can't imagine any adcom actually reading it].</p>

<p>Write what you want Swarthmore is very open minded</p>

<p>My daughter sent in a graded history class essay with her application. Its subject matter reinforced two of the themes of her application. So my advice, echoing that of others, is to send it in if you have a good reason to do so other than the fact that you're allowed to do so.</p>

<p>The question asks a sample of your academic work that you're particularly proud of. I'm sending an English class essay as well.</p>

<p>I think that if you are applying as a math/science person, and have a good paper on a completely different subject, it is good, as it shows that your mind is not locked on one thing. It's true that it probably will not make or brake your application. But if you like the essay, send it. Maximum, they'll admit you without reading it...</p>