SAP Appeal

<p>Please read as much as you can and make as many corrections as you can, you can stop wherever you want just post a quick response.</p>

<p>My questions are am I or will I probably have my Fin Aid suspended? Will call them tomorrow to ask but
( Freshman first appeal: Fall 2013= 0.566, Spring 2014= 2.944, Cum=1.921,Holds listed are "Probation effective 01/08/2014 for Spring 2015 and Fin Aid SAP suspension effective 5/30/2014 for Summer 2014") I am worried because they gave me fin aid for summer which I later changed my mind and it looks like they took it back, why won't take do the same for fall semester as in refuse to give me fin aid? Completion ration is 17/40 earned credits but I came in with 18 advance placement credits.</p>

<p>Re: Section B and C of SAP Appeal</p>

<p>To whom it may concern,</p>

<p>My name is ... and I am a Biology, Society and Environment major and an African American and African Studies minor in the College of Liberal Arts. I am writing in the hopes that the decision to possibly suspend my Financial Aid would be reconsidered so that I may be able to continue my education. Please know that when I received the news of my possible financial aid suspension- which has yet to be finalized, I was deeply saddened but understood completely the circumstances under which the decision might be made. My low GPA failed to meet the requirements of the University to remain an active student on campus. I take full responsibilities for my actions and realize that I am at fault for being in this position.</p>

<p>There are many reasons or excuses that I will refrain from simply listing for my poor academics dating as far back as the summer before the start of my Freshman year. I acknowledge that there are many other students with circumstances far more grievous than mine who managed to excelled. I was unfortunately in a very trying mental space throughout my Freshman Year, I had to deal with physical health issues while also juggling financial, familial and academic pressures. After a dismal 0.556 fall semester GPA, I decided that I could no longer allow all that seemed to be going wrong in my life to control my destiny. I made a sincere effort to raise my grade to at least the Good Standing minimum by the end of spring semester. That effort resulted in a 2.944 spring GPA and a cumulative 1.921 GPA. Though this isn't particularly admirable, it reflects the long ways I've come in terms of my ability to succeed.</p>

<p>The following details what initially went wrong in my academics, the changes I made spring semester, and what I'm doing this summer in order to succeed my sophomore year.</p>

<p>The main cause of my current situation is my 0.556 fall GPA and the cause of that was primarily financial. During my first semester I endured several panic attacks as I dealt with the fact that my only means of paying my fall bill and first year expenses were either my mother's retirement fund or taking out over $10,000 worth of loans. Coming from a poor African family that has always been self reliant, I was very disappoint in myself for not being able to afford college. To rectify the situation I: eventually accepted the loans as an investment in my aspirations even though I was hesitant to use it to purchase textbooks and supplies and eventually fell too far behind; I got a job as student assistant at the academic health center to offset the cost but soon realized it focused my attention on money rather than grades, this limited my mental breathing room and soon I could barely make it out of bed after as panic attacks over money corresponded with panic attacks over grades, I lost the job by winter break due to severe nonspecific allergies and my inability to commute between Minneapolis and Bloomington while sick; my lack of funds for college and my poor academic start made me feel like I didn't belong in college so I became too self-conscious to speak up in class much more ask professors for help.</p>

<p>Last spring I made the following changes in order to perform better academically: I investigated available majors and decided BSE was varied enough to keep me interested in my studies as opposed to a major in Afro studies; I visited Boynton health about my undiagnosed sever seasonal allergy issues which cause me to lose my job during winter break, I didn't scheduled classes before 10am to allow time for breakfast everyday and the 30 minute bus ride from Bailey Hall to the Minneapolis campus; I spoke with my advisor Danny Khotsombath about recourses such as the LASK classes, the writing center and the SMART learning commons; I began using my phone and laptop as a daily planner and as alarms that only shut off after I complete random mathematic problems.</p>

<p>To prepare for academic success this fall I: have secured housing in Comstock Hall since busing from Bailey Hall in St. Paul was particularly limiting during the last fall; l decided to reconnect with my family support system this summer by going to Canada and being a full time nanny of my 4 and 6 year old nephews while my single parent aunt works to sponsor her charity trip back to Sierra Leone in September, I spend my days taking care of the children and my nights applying for scholarships and creating a list for non-summer scholarships for the academic year; I am working through my failed pre-calculus and chemistry assignments on Moodle so that I pass when I retake them this fall: I'm enrolled in non-major classes such as Mastering skills and Natural Hazards and Disasters that count for liberal arts requirements I don't already have or to help me become a better student.</p>

<p>In conclusion, I understand the seriousness of the situation that I have put myself in. I know that federal and institutional aid is a privilege, not a right. I hope that the faith initially expressed in me by being accepted to the University of Minnesota will be extended into a second chance to improve my academic standing. I am dedicated to my new major and motivated enough to not walk way from the pre-med track, my freshman year I am certain is merely a spot on my eventual success story. </p>

<p>I’m sorry not to be able to read all this right now, but you MUST cut this in half. Try another edit and make sure you are getting to the point and not putting a bunch of info or extraneous sentences that are not needed. Do not tell long winded 'poor me ’ stories. State the facts, the backstory briefly and what very firm things you are doing to show that you are removing obstacles and getting help to pass classes.</p>

<p>I did read it, and agree that it is far too long and has too much detail. For example, the material about reconnecting with your family and your aunt’s trip is completely irrelevant. And while I understand that you want to explain that you are taking action to improve your financial situation, all you need to say is that you have secured summer employment. Given your GPA and the fact that you are a rising sophomore, it’s unlikely that you will be able to get any scholarships, so I don’t think it’s useful to mention that you are trying to do so. Your second-to-last paragraph should simply read: “To prepare for academic success this fall I have secured housing that will afford me a more reasonable commute and have obtained summer employment that will reduce my financial pressures.” Pare down the remainder of the letter in the same way. Best of luck.</p>

<p>Thanks! also I guess spelling and grammar is okay then right? </p>

<p>You say things like “managed to excelled”. No, the grammar is not ok. The letter needs proofreading, but that can’t be done until you fix the content.</p>

<p>Agreed. Post a new draft and let’s see where you are.</p>

<p>working on it… almost there</p>

<p>Better?</p>

<p>Re: Section B and C of SAP Appeal </p>

<p>To whom it may concern, </p>

<p>I am writing in the hopes that the decision to possibly suspend my Financial Aid would be reconsidered so that I may be able to continue my education. A contributor to my current situation was my lack of sufficient funds Freshman year, it led to a poor academic start which made me feel like I didn’t belong in college. I became self-conscious and speaking up in class or asking professors for help was unimaginable. I am deeply saddened but understood completely that my low GPA fails to meet the requirements of the University to remain an active student on campus. I take full responsibility for my actions. </p>

<p>The fall of my Freshman year I dealt with health issues, financial, familial and academic pressures. Starting Spring semester I made a sincere effort to raise my grade to at least the Good Standing minimum by the end of the year. That effort resulted in a 2.944 spring GPA and a cumulative 1.921 GPA. Though it isn’t admirable, it reassures me of my ability to succeed. </p>

<p>The following details what initially went wrong in my academics, the changes I made spring semester, and what I’m doing this summer in order to succeed my sophomore year. </p>

<p>First semester I endured several panic attacks as I dealt with the fact that $10,000 worth of loans was the only means of paying my college bill, I was disappointed in myself for not being able to afford college. To rectify the situation I: accepted the loans as an investment in my goals, but I was hesitant in spending the money because it wasn’t really mine, I fell behind purchasing textbooks and thus fell behind in classes; I got a job at the academic health center to offset the cost but this focused my attention more on finances than on grades, I could barely make it out of bed as panic attacks over money corresponded with panic attacks over grades </p>

<p>Last spring I made the following changes in order to perform better academically: I investigated available majors and choose BSE which is varied enough to keep me interested in my studies as opposes to my previous Afro major; I visited Boynton health when my undiagnosed, sever seasonal allergy issues that caused me to lose my job over winter began to act up again; I scheduled classes to allow adequate busing time from Bailey Hall to Minneapolis; I spoke with my advisor who exposed me to resources such as LASK classes, the writing center and the SMART learning commons </p>

<p>To prepare for academic success this fall: I have secured housing in Comstock Hall to eliminate transportation issues; I obtained summer employment and have been applying/ researching available scholarship opportunities; I am working through my failed per-calculus and chemistry assignments on Moodle since I will be retaking them this fall; I’m enrolled in LASK classes that will provide better study and testing skills. </p>

<p>In conclusion, I know that federal and institutional aid is a privilege, not a right. Please do not suspend my Financial Aid, I am dedicated to my new major and motivated enough to not walk way from the pre-med track, my freshman year I am sure is only a spot on my eventual success story. </p>

<p>^^</p>

<p>Actually, your grammar is off in a number of spots. Read it through yourself first, and see if you can correct the grammar. There are also a couple of run on sentences…sentences that really should be two separate sentences.</p>

<p>Your revision is better.</p>

<p>I know this isn’t what you are asking here…but I would omit the part about not walking away from a premed track. Your grades are such right now that premed is about the last thing you should be thinking about. </p>

<p>Thanks for all the suggestions, my final draft was trimmed down and edited. Thanks again everyone. </p>