[SAT Essay Attempt #1] Grade my Essay c:

<p>Knowledge is power. In agriculture, medicine, and industry, for example, knowledge has liberated us from hunger, disease, and tedious labor. Today, however, our knowledge has become so powerful that it is beyond our control. We know how to do many things, but we do not know where, when, or even whether this know-how should be used.</p>

<p>Assignment: Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit?</p>

<pre><code>Knowledge is one of the many traits everyone desires to have more of. With our evergrowing understanding of tecnological wonders, the human brain and its capabilities are constantly underestimated. According to Dr. Stein, " Knowledge is power... we know how to do many things, but we do not know where, when or even whether this know-how should be used." This quote is completely valid. Over the past 200 years, humans have made incredible advances in many different fields including science and math. However, not all of our creations were good. Similar to the original Frankenstein, just because we can make it doesn't mean that we should. Two real life examplesin which knowledge is a burden could be the Hiroshima bombings and the flu vaccine that changed Desiree Jenning's life forever.

The Hiroshima bombings were one of the first nuclear bombings of such a high caliber. Nuclear warfare had always been a very sensitive issue due to the lack of knowledge about it. There is only so much you can control about an atomic bomb; how it will react with the environment, casualities, etc. are all variables that cannot accurately be assessed. The Hiroshima bombings were a series of two atomic bombs that detonated on islands in Japan. Those who didn't die from the initial explosion, died a slow and painful death due to radiation poisoning. Over tens of thousands of people were killed.

For a more present day example of how knowledge could be a burden, the case of Desiree Jennings is often discusse.d Desiree Jennings was a famous cheerleader for the Redskins. Every year, she got her flu shot but in 2011, this flu shot was different. After being given the shot, Deisree was no longer able to talk without a studder or walk normally. She was only able to talk and walk regularly if she was walking backwards. After an investigation took place, it was found that the flut shot Desiree was given wasn't tested properly enough on human participants although based on scientific tests, it should have worked perfectly.

To sum it all up, the human brain and the amount of knowledge it is able to hold is incredible. However, just because we know how to do something doesn't mean it should be done. Human knowledge is capable of analyzing theories and scientific laws but the world isn't that simple. The wolrd is filled with uncontrollable variables. Knowledge is a burden unless all the pros and cons are throughly weighed and measured.
</code></pre>

<p>Your intro is definitely longer than it should be. Take the time you put into it to create a third body paragraph. Also, your second body paragraph speaks more of a lack of knowledge that caused her illness.</p>