Sorry to take time out of all of your busy schedules, but if someone could just read my essay, give me a score, and leave some comments, I would be extremely grateful. I don’t have that many opportunities to receive feedback for my SAT essays, so this is somewhat new to me. Thank you so much for anyone who leaves feedback! (Note: I am typing this with all of my errors, so it may sound super awkward at some parts xD)
Topic: Do changes that make out lives easier not necessarily make them better? (The background information talked about technology, so it may seem that I only talked about technology as a change.) ^ ^’
Humans have been innovating to find solutions to their problems since the beginning of the Stone Age. They have been searching more efficient and less labor inducing methods to guide them and help them supply their basic needs. However, making such practices easier prevents humans from fulfilling their full potential strength and sometimes causes societal changes to follow an estranged path. Although labor became less intensive, the quality of life did not necessarily improve.
During the early 1800s in the United States South, cotton became a more profitable and high-demand crop. Using slave labor, plantation owners received large profits; however, the cotton-picking process was difficult because the cotton plants were surrounded by thorns,and the cotton seeds were difficult to removed from the fiber. During his visit to South Carolina, Eli Whitney witnessed this pain-staking process and developed the cotton gin. The cotton gin maximized efficiency of removing the seeds, and profits from cotton soared. However, to gain even more profit, plantation owners sought more slaves, which revived slavery in the United States while other countries in the world were beginning to phase slave labor out of their economies. This prolonged abuse and maltreatment of slaves only further.
In addition, recent technological innovations such as the smartphone have minimized the people's full potential strength. Smartphones have enabled people to record and store information such as telephone numbers, addresses, and birthdays; however, this instant access to information has decreased the need to retain the information. People have started to forget their own phone numbers or friends' and family's birthdays. Also, prevention research for Alzheimer's disease has found that technology may be to blame. Because people have begun to rely on technology as their memory aid; they have found less need to retain information and less chance to use their memories. This leads to deterioration of cognitive function at a much earlier age. Although technology has allowed people to plan and keep track of their lives, it has replaced out brain as a memory bank.
Technology, through useful and efficient, does not make life any better. People must regain control over their own human strengths to reach their full potential, and society must be cautious to make use of technology to improve all lives and evolve into a more advance, cohesive, and harmonious society.