<p>I've gone through the "12 Essay in 10 Days" and this is my first SAT essay following that advice. I'd really appreciate some feedback so I can know where to improve from here. </p>
<p>Prompt:
"Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below. </p>
<p>"Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive. People think that to hide ones thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse. " Adapted from J. David Velleman, The Genesis of Shame</p>
<p>Assignment: Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private?"</p>
<p>Essay:
In our world where everyone is connected through the Internet, the line between our public lives and our private lives has been blurred and sometimes even erased. By analyzing major new events such as suicides provoked by cyberbullying, the phone hacking scandal from News of the World and the Wikileaks cable leaks, we see an absolute necessity for maintaining privacy.</p>
<p>One of the greatest recent tragedies has been the frequent suicides by gay students from cyberbullying. Without the face-to-face interaction, people feel free to "express every inclination and impulse" they have, as Velleman states. They feel free to even lambast their fellow students with hateful slurs based solely on sexual orientation. Sadly, because these bullies lack a filter for their harmful thoughts and feelings, LGBT students are driven to the point of suicide. Clearly, keeping those remarks private would have prevented these unfortunate deaths.</p>
<p>This same lack of empathy for others and privacy was shown in the recent phone hacking scandal. Desperate for a good scoop, the News of the World felt no qualms tapping into celebrity phone lines, completely disregarding their rights to privacy. The journalists clearly believed it was fair to tramp into someone's private life, a clear consequence of the "too confessional" culture we currently suffer from, according to Velleman. Reporting so-called "truth" requires us to ignore others' rights to privacy.</p>
<p>Finally, on a global scale, we see a disdain for privacy in the Wikileaks cable leak. This vast trove of data revealed confidential cables sent by the US government and other countries. This leak could have harmful consequences for national security and diplomatic ties as the government is forced to make amends for private comments. Though some activist groups like Anonymous believe the leak was protected under freedom of speech, violation of privacy that puts the country into danger is unacceptable. Without respect for a government's privacy, how can we ensure valuable secrets can be kept?</p>
<p>From these examples, we see a very pressing need for maintaining privacy. When privacy is violated, we see a celebrity's life ruined, a suicide of young gay teens, a government's security compromised. We must make an effort to keep more of our lies private lest we too suffer a similar fate.</p>