SAT in 6 days so please do grade it!!

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Only 6 days left in the only SAT exam ill ever take (hopefully)!</p>

<p>Please grade this essay, and I would appreciate if you ridicule it with your remarks!</p>

<p>Thanks in advance!</p>

<p>There is, of course, no legitimate branch of science that enables us to predict the future accurately. Yet the degree of change in the world is so overwhelming and so promising that the future. I believe, is far brighter than anyone has contemplated since the end of the Second World Adapted from E. Goodman. A Brief History of the Future: The United States in a Changing World Order</p>

<p>Assignment: Is the world changing for the better? Plan and write m essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. </p>

<p>MY ESSAY</p>

<p>There is no doubt in the fact that the world is changing rapidly. It has changed before but will continue to change. It is regrettable. Though, that the way the world is changing presently alludes that the world is heading towards a big crisis, if not a disaster.</p>

<p>Although science cannot predict the future accurately, it has enabled s to make guesses by observing current trends. The most rapid change that is taking place is that of environment. The earth’s environment is becoming more polluted day by day. This is not only resulting in a polluted atmosphere, but also global warming. Global warming is causing the glaciers of the arctic, which happen to be our primary source of water, to melt down at an ever increasing rate. The disaster is conspicuous: our water reserves are dying out. It is implicit that the rapidly changing environment is definitely taking us towards a global crisis.</p>

<p>Another change that is a premonition of disaster can be observeD in the world’s stock markets. Markets all over the world are collapsing, leading to exponentially hiking prices of food and basic necessities. According to a survey by the World Health Organization, due to this financial crisis, the number of people sleeping empty-bellied has increased to a billion. Although the world’s stock markets were doing well in the past years, this sudden change has resulted in an escalation of starvation. If this trend were to continue, one can imagine how bad a hunger crisis the world will suffer from in the future.</p>

<p>The current changes taking place in the world clearly show that the world is heading towards disasters that one can easily imagine. To just sit back and relax, thinking that these changes will somehow have grand results is akin to dreaming flowery dreams which are nothing but fantasy. What we should do, instead, is strive against the adverse effects of these changes in order to make the world a better place to live in.</p>

2

<p>Please help in some way people!</p>

3

<p>umm…9,a 10 if you’re lucky
compared to your previous 2 essays, this one was really low on ‘prose quality’… maybe that’s because you tried to give 2 examples and didnt have much time, so work on it…
there were a LOT of mistakes, tho i dont know which ones were due to typing…
nice ending, good start, solid examples…as i said a 9/10 essay</p>

4

<p>All the mistakes (i know they are glaring!) are typos man…i dont spare more than 10 minutes to get it all typed…:)</p>

5

<p>I’d give it an 8.</p>

6

<p>I’d give it an 8. </p>

<p>I think your introduction is weak, most of it talked about change itself and not your opinion. The last sentence of the intro was grammatically wrong, and presented your opinion in a weak manner. </p>

<p>Your first argument, global warming. It’s a weak argument. Most prominently, the facts are wrong. We don’t get most of our water from the glaciers. The primary concern about glacier melting is the potential threat of flooding in lower areas and possible desalinization of the sea, which can imbalance hydro-currents.</p>

<p>Your second argument, about the stock markets, seems very narrow sighted and gives bad arguments and generalizations to back it up. “Markets all over the world are collapsing” seems like a big statement to use for a recession at this level. Economic Panics and downturns come at cycles, and doesn’t really say anything about why the economy is turning for the worse. Furthermore, you have detracted from the main argument of the “economy” into a too specific realm of “hunger”. Your final sentence has to be seen as your final word on the matter, and whittling it down doesn’t help your larger argument. </p>

<p>And finally, conclusion is just strange. Your conclusion doesn’t defend your main argument and rather posits what we should do. I can’t understand your second sentence in the conclusion and how it fits into the overall meaning of your argument of “why the world is going down the toilet” </p>

<p>There… Gryffon’s analysis of your paper.</p>

7

<p>@Gryffon5147</p>

<p>You did an awesome analysis! That really was extremely helpful! Thanks!</p>