SAT on Nov.1st,please grade it!Thanks

<p>Assignment: Is it more valuable for people to fit in than to be unique and different?
My essay
People are coerced to fit in, to obey those consecrated rules and doctrines by themselves. Indeed, people are beneficiaries of those rules. However, from individuals to the whole society may be restrained in a seemingly felicitous circumstance. Therefore, it’s more valuable to be unique and different. Without people’s trying to create that uniqueness, there’s no new flower blossom in a field.
Henry Ford, the great entrepreneur behind Model T, utilized his own creativity to make automobile become a prevalent consumption that affordable to everyone. During the second Industrial Revolution, automobiles appeared in people’s life. At the point that the manufacturing of a car required elaborate accessories and rigid techniques, the car was sold at a fairly high price. At that time, everyone held the same view that car would always be a luxury. However, Henry Ford said that he would build a motor car for the great mass of people. He got down to drawing the blueprint for a simplest plan that modern engineering can produce. Mr. Ford built the largest factory of its time. He designed the factory that circulated under a new system. Inside the factory, car parts moved to the workers exactly when they needed them. Each worker is specialized in and responsible for only a small area. Amazingly, production rose sharply. And eventually, Model T became part of every citizen’s life with the cost of only $850. Henry Ford innovated in the field of car manufacturing. His creativity makes automobile no longer a fantasy for ordinary people.</p>

<p>Similarly, Steve Ells, the founder of Chipotle Mexican Grill, persists in his own distinctive idea and make his restaurant a great achievement. Usually, Mexican food is fairly cheap. And it’s common that restaurants tend to have a close kitchen. But Ells didn’t follow these rules. Though selling fast food, Ells makes those foods different from the traditional ones. He cooked high-quality food which cost $5 dollars for a burrito. Despite that there’s little restaurant pays a lot attention on every specific of ingredients, Ells did. He only uses pasture-farmed pork which is free of antibiotics and artificial. On the other hand, Ells set an open kitchen to make every customer feels like they’re having an amiable dinner party. At first these exceptional idea of him was doubted by lots of his friends. But Ells sticks to his own perspective. Trying not to fit in those traditions, finally, those uniqueness contribute to the success of Chipotle which has nearly 800 branches through USA and Canada. </p>

<p>Fitting do give a hand to us to get alone well with this world. But if every individual don’t express out their distinctions and make them into actions, the whole world is standing still in the ancient times.</p>

<p>good examples, good transition
i'd give it a 10-11</p>

<p>9</p>

<p>Because you have to be extra cautious with those grammatical mistakes. There are quite a lot of them.</p>

<p>Also, this essay is kinda too long to be written in the limited space in 25 minutes. Are you sure you completed it in time?</p>

<p>Thanks,and how do you think about my examples?</p>

<p>Thanks!I hope that I can get 10 in SAT essay writing portion.</p>

<p>Again, the examples were littered with mistakes. Although they are good, but then with the mistakes they become more tempting for the person checking your essay to give you a 4 :D</p>

<p>Good examples, but yeah, those grammatical errors are a killer. Sometimes it's almost hard to follow. I'm thinking this would get a 8-9.</p>

<p>People are coerced to fit in, to obey those consecrated rules and doctrines. Indeed, people are beneficiaries of those rules. However, from individuals to the whole society may be restrained in a seemingly felicitous circumstance. Therefore, it’s more valuable to be unique and different. Without people’s trying to create uniqueness, there’s no new flower blossom in a field.
Henry Ford, the great entrepreneur behind Model T, utilized his own creativity to make automobile become a prevalent consumption that affordable to everyone. During the second Industrial Revolution, automobiles appeared in people’s life. At the point that the manufacturing of a car required elaborate accessories and rigid techniques, the car was sold at a fairly high price. At that time, everyone held the same view that car would always be a luxury. However, Henry Ford said that he would build a model car for the great mass of people. He got down to drawing the blueprint for a simplest procedure that modern engineer could easily learn to produce. Mr. Ford built the largest factory of its time. He designed the factory that circulated under a new system. Inside the factory, car parts were moved to the workers exactly when workers needed. Each worker was specialized in only a small area. Amazingly, production rose sharply. And eventually, Model T which cost only $850 became part of every citizen’s life. Henry Ford innovated in the field of car manufacturing. His creativity made automobile no longer a fantasy for ordinary people.</p>

<p>Similarly, Steve Ells, the founder of Chipotle Mexican Grill, persists in his own distinctive idea and makes his restaurant a great achievement. Usually, Mexican food is fairly cheap. And it’s common that restaurants tend to have a close kitchen. But Ells didn’t follow these rules. Though selling fast food, Ells makes those foods different from the traditional ones. He cooked high-quality food, like burrito which costs $5 dollars. Despite few restaurant pays a lot attention on every specific of ingredients, Ells do. He only uses pasture-farmed pork which is free of antibiotics and artificial. On the other hand, Ells set an open kitchen to make every customer feels like they’re having an amiable dinner party. At first these exceptional idea of him was doubted by lots of his friends. But Ells insisted on his perspective. Trying not to fit in those traditions, finally, Mr. Ells has got nearly 800 branches through USA and Canada. </p>

<p>Fitting in do give a hand to us to get alone well with this world. But if every individual don’t express out his or her distinctions and make them into actions, the whole world is standing still in the ancient times. </p>

<p>I didi some correction, how about this time.(I'm sorry that my grammar is very poor)</p>