SAT Practice Essay; Will someone grade?

<p>This is the practice essay that you write for a practice test on the SAT website. If anyone is willing to grade this for me and give their honest opinion whether it be good or bad, then I would be truly appreciative! I'm not really good at essays and anything to help me better my writing skills is welcome! Thank you for your time!</p>

<p>Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive. People think that to hide one’s thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse.</p>

<p>Adapted from J. David Velleman, "The Genesis of Shame"</p>

<p>Assignment:
Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Times have changed since the introduction of new forms of media that weren't available a few decades ago. This has since changed our perspective on sharing things more openly with other people. People share so many details about their everyday life through blogs and social networking sites because these things provide you with an opportunity to share these details, and not many think too much about what they are sharing. These new medians of information make people think it's alright to share this information because it's just the internet, and it seems harmless. This is just something our culture has conformed to, but it's not necessarily a bad thing.
There are people that share a little too much information, while others do not. It really just depends on the type of person you are, as well as your perspective on things. Being self-expressive is a good thing, but when does it get to the point where you're too self-expressive? Hiding one's thoughts or feelings does not necessarily mean that person is pretending not to have those thoughts or feelings. It may mean that they are not sure how to deal with them, so they push them out of focus; they know they are there, but they do not deal with them. Honesty does not require someone to express every aspect of their life and every, single detail that they have in their life.
Expressing your feelings and what not can help you express that honesty to yourself, but it does not mean you're inclined to share this information. Honesty to yourself should be more important to yourself rather than others when it comes down to your thoughts and feelings. As long as you know these things are true within your own head, then it should not matter about anyone's opinion. Keeping these things to yourself does not mean that you're a dishonest person either. People deal with things how they want to whether it be sharing as much as information as they want, or keeping these things all to themselves. How you choose to look at a situation is how it shall be.
The effort to which a person should keep things more private is completely dependent on what type of person you are. You may be the type of person to overly express every detail of every second. You may also be the type of person to keep these ideas, expressions, feelings, etc, all to yourself. There is not really a right or wrong answer within this question. People should choose to be private or more open about things based on their own views. If you are a more expressive person, then this can help others relate to your own experiences. That is a helpful way to look at overly expressive people. There's nothing wrong with whichever choice you make, and it all depends on how it benefits the person that is doing it.
With all these things taken into consideration, there is nothing that points to where people should be more private or not. It can be beneficial for the person one way or another, and it can even be beneficial for more than just that person in the long run. A person can give as much effort into this situation as they want, and it really doesn't make much of a difference anyway. It has became our culture nowadays, and there is nothing that points to this as a bad thing.</p>

<p>The glaring red flag that I see with your essay is that I can’t clearly see your position on the matter. I’m not completely sure whether you feel that people should be private or not. Yes, I realize that not every question is black and white and doesn’t have a concrete answer, but for the sake of the SAT Essay, it’s crucial that you choose a side and defend it.</p>