For the past 3yrs I have lived on campus at my university with the same roommate. We get along well and she is actually hardly ever there which is really nice. Whenever she is there I do feel a bit anxious but its manageable. And it comforts me to know that she will only be there until she is done with class and then she’ll leave until the next day or so. Lol.
Yesterday she texted me and said she is not sure if she is going to live on campus this year. She said she would keep me updated. But if thats the case I know I am going to have to get a new roommate which I really do not want to do. I really like having her as my roommate because she is hardly ever there which makes it SO much easier for me to relax and study without any distractions. I have math dyslexia and I have to take one math class for the next two semesters. I have to study at least twice as hard than the average person does due to my dyslexia. I am worried that having a new roommate who is there all the time will make me too anxious and prevent me from studying effectively. I could go into the library to study but that actually makes me feel even more anxious and uncomfortable. I tend to do a lot better if I study alone in a more isolated environment.
I’ve also been diagnosed with severe GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) so just the thought of having a new roommate freaks me out. I do not have many friends so my anxiety keeps telling me that my new roommate will have a ton of friends a notice that I have almost none.
I’m just really worried that living with someone new will not only affect my studying but also make my anxiety worse. I asked the housing director to add me to the private room waitlist but I am #10 on the list so I kinda doubt I will be able to have my own room. I go to a small private school so being #10 is not the best position.
Where you have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, isn’t the school required to make accommodations for you? If you need a single room to function, they need to provide you with one.
Really really wanting a single and needing one are completely different things. It sounds as if you need one, medically.
I am registered at my school as a student with a disability. But the only accommodations I receive are extra time on math tests and being able to take the tests at a later time in an environment with minimal distractions. Yesterday I emailed the student disability office to explain my situation. I am just waiting to hear back from them. I also contacted my psychologist asking him if he could verify that living in my own room would benefit me academically and help improve my mental health but he said he this is not an accommodation many psychologists would recommend. He then said he’d see what he could do. I don’t see why this accommodation would not benefit me.
Well I mostly want to live on my own due to educational reasons. I really cant risk failing one of those math classes that I mentioned in my post since I am scheduled to graduate this coming May. Having math dyslexia has already delayed my graduation date by over a year.
Sounds like you are taking the right steps to get this resolved. As a junior/senior, I can’t see where there would be a reason not to have your own room, especially if you explained the problem to the psychologist like you did to us. Do you ever study outside of your room, perhaps with headphones? Is moving off campus a possibility for you? If you do get a new roommate, be upfront with negotiating quiet time with them. If there are clear boundaries it might help you to cope.
I did explain it to my psychologist. He just said he’d see what he could do. I have tried to study outside of my dorm multiple times but it never works out. I always feel extremely uncomfortable and I end up going back to my room. I even get hot flashes sometimes when I try to study outside of my room, it just makes me too nervous. I do not like using headphones, I find listing to music while studying makes it impossible for me to fully focus. And moving off campus is not possible since the area my school is in is too expensive.
And another reason why I do not want a new roommate is because I tend to go to bed between 9 and 10pm most nights. I like to sleep early because it helps me manage my anxiety. If I am not well rested I do not feel my best. I just don’t want to room with someone who is going to get annoyed with me for sleeping that early most nights.
In your posting history you asked how to ask your roommate to leave when you brought your boyfriend over. Accommodation with a roommate works both ways.
First of all @TomSrOfBoston that post is from 2013. It no longer applies to me. And its rude to be rude to someone when they’re asking for advice and emotional support.
Are you on medication for anxiety? If not, talk to a psychiatrist…if your anxiety is preventing you from doing things in your everyday life, it may be time.
Talk to the Counseling office for help with anxiety.
Talk to a librarian about study options at the library…there may be some quieter areas you don’t know about.
Are there other places, like student lounges or classrooms or whatever where you could study? Are there study rooms in your dorm?
Yes, can you go for counseling on campus? My daughter has anxiety and goes for weekly sessions. The counselor isn’t as good as her private one, but she says the woman does help.
It sounds as though your anxiety is real, that you have a history and that it isn’t something you can wish away.
You say you’ve been diagnosed with GAD. So I’m guessing you’ve been working with a counselor for a while??
What does he or she say?? I would think that that single opinion trumps every opinion from this website. Your counselor knows you, knows your history, knows the coping mechanisms you’ve worked on.