Hi. I’m a recent high school graduate, and I’m very lucky to be able to be going to a really good college next year. It’s not Ivy League, but it’s one of the better private institutions in the country. However, I had a really, really rough senior year. I finished pretty strong academically after taking a lot of tough courses, but emotionally/mentally it didn’t go so well. I’m not looking for pity, but I was diagnosed with chronic anxiety and moderate-ish depression. I’ve been going to therapy and on the whole I’m feeling a lot better, but I still have bad days. Since the beginning of the month, I’ve been really, really anxious about college, from getting documents in on time to worrying about move in day. I feel out of control and I’m also worried that my mental health will deteriorate in college.
My advice is to talk to your parents and your doctor. You should be seeing a mental health expert, not asking us on the internet. You may want to take a gap year, but you need your parents involvement.
I’m already talking to my therapist about it- I feel like a lot of my worries are unsubstantial though. I’m trying to clarify- are my anxieties about freshman year, like not being able to handle the workload, and just generally being nervous- bound to go away?
Essentially, I feel like I’m just worrying over nothing, and I just want to know if that’s all they are- unreasonable. I didn’t really get that across in my original question.
How smart of you to recognize and articulate your concerns and ask for help. You have mastered the first and most important step to addressing this.
First, talk this through with your current therapist and work out a strategy for the summer and when you arrive. Make sure you know how to access care on campus and know what resources are available. If you need a doctor in town, get that introduction made and set up an appointment before you leave home. Every thing you have thought through and know how to address will lighten the load. Honestly, everyone has some struggle in the transition but not everyone has plans to deal with it. Be empowered by that.
Get in touch with the resources available to you at your college now. Don’t feel as if you can’t rely upon them until you get to campus. My son has a medical condition and during orientation he had a meeting with someone from disability services. They are experienced with handling all types of situations and the recommendations she gave my son were really helpful and comforting. It was also a great discussion about what the plan will look like when he’s on campus and becomes ill. They also discussed what needs to happen over the summer to put himself in the best position to succeed. Please speak to your parents, your doctor and the disability services advisor at your college to start putting together a plan. You definitely want to have your therapist recommend someone local and maybe transition with some skype sessions with your current therapist.
Most kids are going to have stress and anxiety as they start school in the fall. It’s how your body will respond to that stress and anxiety that you want to be prepared for.
Agree that you should talk with your parents and therapist and lay out a course of action. If you do start college in the fall, be sure to set up an appointment at the counseling center there either immediately upon your arrival at school or preferably before you get to campus.
My random thoughts & suggestions in no particular order:
Purchase a big wall or desk calendar. The kind that you have enough room to write stuff on for each day.
Purchase a regular "old school" planner/calendar - the kind that comes in book form that you'd carry around with you in your backpack.
When you get your syllabi for your various classes once you're on campus & the semester begins, take the calendar of events for each of those classes and write when the midterms, finals, assignments, etc are due....for the ENTIRE SEMESTER.
Put all of that info in your Google or iPhone calendar, too, so you have it on your phone.
Practice making lists. For example, if you know that certain things have to be turned in, mailed in, etc. before the semester begins, then make a check list with due dates of all of that stuff. Display it prominently in your bedroom at home. And put it on that big wall or desk calendar so you see it every day.
Make a mental and written list of all of the tools, techniques, and other stuff you used to do in high school that worked well for you. Plan on using those in college as well.
Make a mental and written list of all of the tools, techniques, etc. you did in high school which you feel did NOT work well for you in terms of managing your time, your school work, your anxiety levels, etc. Take the lists from #6 and #7 to your next therapy session and get some advice from your therapist.
Do some research online and at your local library about good study techniques, good note-taking skills, etc. Consider stuff like this similar to adding to your mental & emotional "college tool kit."
Do some research with your university and ask if there are any anxiety and/or depression support groups on campus or in the local community (i.e., close enough for you to attend so you could take public transportation to get there).
If you follow a particular religious faith and you find that practicing that religious faith to be helpful for you, then find out before you get to college where that particular religious group meets up at your college. Do the same thing for any club or special interest that you might have which you are especially interested in.
Plan on:
a. going to class
b. getting to class on time
c. taking notes
d. studying your notes
e. going to professors' office hours. Get to know your professors. Introduce yourself.
f. for harder classes, form study groups with your classmates. Sometimes when you're all in it together in a small group, it can make it easier to cope at more stressful times of the semester like before midterms and final exams and when big papers are due
g. take a tour of the campus library. Ask the librarians for help in conducting research for papers, etc. They're usually really nice people.
Thank you to everyone for your help. I feel a lot better already, and I just talked to my mom about all of this as well. I’m definitely beginning to feel more at ease, even in such a short amount of time.
Agreed: your therapist and parents are far better resources than we are.
But know that deciding to attend a particular college is NOT necessarily a 4 year commitment. It doesn’t even have to be a full year commitment. It’s merely a commitment to give it a shot. If you find that your anxiety is kicking into overdrive, then you, with your parents and therapist, can re-evaluate. You can always come home, you can always transfer to different school.
But start by contacting the mental health professionals at your school. Do it this summer, before the school year starts. Know that you won’t be the only one doing this-- I think that many people would be surprised at the number of high school and college kids with anxiety issues. They know the drill, and will find the words and the procedures to help you cope.