I’m about two months away from heading off to college an I’ve just come to realize how much I’m going to miss my family. I’m so afraid! I’m scared that I might not be able to make it and that I’ll return empty handed. I’m usually the type of person who is seen by others as confident and sometimes intimidating, but right now I’m extremely terrified of the future. I know I might sound weak and immature, but is it truly normal to be afraid to leave home?
Yes, it’s normal! It is a transition, with a lot of unknowns, and that can be overwhelming for anyone.
Colleges know that there is a lot for incoming first year students to adapt to, and most have a several day orientation for first years to get settled, before the other students return and classes begin. Some schools have pre-orientation programs, where you go hiking, or do service etc. with a group of other incoming students.
There is funny, quick read of a book called the “The Naked Roommate and 107 other issues . . . .” by Harlan Cohen, you can probably find it at the library. It addresses personal and academic transitions to college and offers solid advice about how to handle them.
You might also look for opportunities to develop some skills that will help make the transition easier. For instance, if you aren’t doing your own laundry, this summer is a time to start. There are several threads on the Parents board where parents have asked about what skills they wished they had taught their kids before going off to college. You might select some of the skills on that list as ones you will master this summer (and might enjoy reading about all the things parents worry about!)
In terms of missing your family – perhaps decide on a weekly time to Skype so you can see younger sibs, family pets, the whole gang. Please know, your family is proud of you. You can do this!
Yes, you are normal.
Text, Skype and FaceTime your family.
It is a very scary, yet wonderful time in your life. Explore your options. You worked hard for this!
Now, step into the next phase of your life.
Quite normal and the amazing thing is that every other freshman you meet will be the same. Some will show it more than others. That is why freshman year is such a great time to make new friends. Everyone is looking for other people to bond with. Embrace your feelings. Talk about them with your parents and your new classmates.
The other aspect you may not realize is that even if you didn’t go off to college, things at home are changing. Your high school friends are going all kinds of different directions and your friendships with them will be changing no matter what you do. Again, embrace those changes also.
It is an exciting time for you. Keep your focus on the future. You are now also entering the adult world. Your success is dependent on you. Stay on top of your classes and all your homework. Be responsible. Take advantage of opportunities as they present themselves. Don’t be afraid to try new things and really challenge yourself. Some will succeed and some may fail. Don’t be afraid to fail once in a while.
You are going to do fine.
All great posts above, and yes, you are normal. Every kid in their freshman year is in the same boat. It’s good to think about this because, really, are your fears likely to happen? the vast majority of kids enter college feeling the same, but they get through it, and so will you. This post is closely related: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/2016222-to-those-who-feel-lonely-homesick-friendless-think-they-chose-the-wrong-school-etc-p1.html
Please read it, and also, click the link posted in #12 on that thread. EVERYONE is feeling uncertain. You’ll get trhough it, because you have to.
It’s okay to be scared, don’t tell yourself you shouldn’t be. You are going to miss your family, don’t tell yourself that you shouldn’t miss them. Fear and grief as as much part of growing up as the excitement, accomplishment, and great joy that can also come with the growing up and moving on. It’s a process. Embrace all of the feelings. Also know that it isn’t all or nothing. These feelings don’t just shut off, and they come and go.
ALso check out: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1808143-having-trouble-adjusting-to-college-making-friends-top-10-things-to-do.html
- Most kids are nervous about going to college…you have a new room, new friends, new school, new teachers
- Colleges have orientations to help you learn about the college, how things work, meet friends
- If you think you are having more anxiety than typical, go to the Counseling Center at your college…they have help for homesickness
- Chat with your family, but spend more time trying to meet new people
- If this is really affecting you more than typical, talk to your doctor about anxiety.