<p>My D is in a difficult, although enviable, position. She is receiving a number of awards from various groups, some of which include minor scholarships, never more than $1,000. Each group giving the award wants her to attend their luncheon/dinner/ceremony/whatever, which I can certainly understand from their perspective. The problem is at this time of her senior year, she has numerous scheduling conflicts.</p>
<p>We are discussing which event she must attend. Note, this is just a discussion, we are not arguing. My general feeling is that the order of precedence should be as follows: 1st comes school and academic events, 2nd is scheduled games involving her varsity team, 3rd is any pre-existing EC commitments, 4th would be an award events and 5th is any "fun" type events, such as a trip to an amusement park with her school class (not the entire senior class, just one section of one subject, a reward from the teacher). There are probably others, but this is off the top of my head.</p>
<p>Obviously, the sticking point is #5. My feeling is that if a community group is giving her a scholarship, she should attend their luncheon. I think they have the right to see the person they are supporting with their funds. A trip to an amusement park, however "special," can wait. Her position is that the trip is a reward for a year of extremely hard work, was scheduled first and she should have the right to attend, as the luncheon invitation just came by mail.</p>
<p>I don't know if I'm right or wrong, but I believe I would let my D make that decision. It seems to me your D must certainly be intelligent enough and has made enough good decisions to get where she is at this point. I totally agree that the groups would like to meet the person to whom they are awarding something, but I do see your D's point in that she has worked hard all year and would like to partake in the reward of having a FUN day. When my D was younger, she was part of that Duke TIP program. She scored high and was invited to the state ceremony at Vanderbilt. It just so happened that D's friend's birthday party was that same day. D made the decision to go to the party and didn't regret it. I believe a sincere note of thanks along with her regrets for not being able to attend due to prior commitment is perfectly acceptable.</p>
<p>I am a student who has also won a few awards and just got back from a luncheon 800 miles away which honored my volunteer work. (Granted, the organization paid for me to attend, but it still meant being away for two days!)</p>
<p>I'm with Dad. Personally, I feel that if we students take the $$$ we should be at the luncheon.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, I agree with you! Attending the luncheon invitation is a way of saying thank you to those who gave her the scholarship (s). While she may well feel, correctly, that she has worked hard to earn these scholarships, it would be gracious for her to personally express her thanks to the groups which granted her the scholarships.
Could some alternative fun activity be organized on a date that does not clash with these events? It need not be through the school.</p>
<p>I have to agree with Dad, too. In the case of the TIP award ceremony that Splashmom mentions, I think that going to the birthday party was fine. The student had performed at given level, and all students who had done so are awarded a certificate (did a couple of those things ourselves). But the scholarship events are different. Presumably, they are organized around the one or several students chosen, they are giving their money, not just a certificate, and I'm guessing tht the group members get some satisfaction out of meeting and formally recognizing the student(s) they have chosen. I think that if the student wants to accept the scholarship, she should attend if at all possible.</p>
<p>Last year, we attended a luncheon like that and the one scholarship winner who didn't come was the one who lived closest. He sent a statement, which was read, and which didn't explain why he could not attend. It felt almost insulting to those of us gathered and those who had awarded the scholarship. There were important people who had taken time out of their schedules to attend this event, including college professors and deans, not to mention parents like us who had taken a day from work to drive 100 miles or so. Those who run the program awarding the scholarships had put much effort into the presentations, talking about each of the winners individually and reading comments from those who had recommended them. They presented plaques and took pictures, which were then posted on a website and published in a newsletter. It involved so much recognition beyond the check. From my selfish perspective, I loved sitting at the table with some of the other parents and hearing about their kids as well -- including the girl whose father barely spoke English and who worried that she worked too hard, staying up until three or four every morning doing coursework so she could go to college. And, her sister, who came to the luncheon as well, and who was graduating college and about to go to medical school. What a great program, I thought. What a great country. Hope my kid appreciates his chances and the recognition he is getting.</p>
<p>I was especially glad we had gone after attending our son's graduation ceremony. It was a small high school but, in an attempt not to make anyone feel left out, they did not honor anyone but the student speakers who had been chosen by their classmates. That luncheon ceremony we attended was much more meaningful -- plus it gave us a chance to personally thank those who had selected and honored him.</p>
<p>I agree with dad...she owes it to the people helping her afford her education to say thank you. There are plenty of other students who applied for those same scholarships and would love to be at those luncheons paying their respects.</p>
<p>Oh, please, please, please ... may I change my answer?! Please ignore what I wrote earlier UMDAD. After reading the rest of the messages posted here, I really do agree with you all. Garland, I used a bad analogy with the Duke TIP thing. That in no way compares to a scholarship, and you are absolutely right in that it is usually just one or few people who receive the scholarship and they really should be there to graciously accept it. I stand corrected.</p>
<p>Many of these organizations are proud of the students they choose to honor, and use this occasion as more than just honoring the kids, it shows the people who donated where their $, time and effort went. They take pictures, and use it to advertise their efforts in an attempt to get more people to help so they can do even more. They gave $, and effort - remmebr, someone had to volunteer to read those apps, etc., and the least you D can do is show her appreciation by attending. Not doing so shows the people who really want to meet her, that their decision wasn't that important to her. I know my D wasn't really thrilled about attending the shareholder's meeting where they honored the 10 students who received 1K scholarships, but no one failed to show up, and if proved to be a wonderful evening! It's rude not to attend withour a very good reason, and a trip to the amusement park just isn't it.</p>
<p>LOL Cur :) Adding my vote to the "go to the luncheon" pile. Like Garland, I have been at a scholarship dinner where the honored student did not attend. The absence felt like a heavy rock in the room.</p>
<p>I'd even go so far as to say that if she'd rather go on a rollercoaster at some amusement park rather than be gracious to the people who choose to honor her accomplishments, that maybe, just maybe, she should think about giving the award(s) back. But that's just my personal opinion.</p>
<p>I understand the pressure of scheduling conflicts, but I will have to say: have your daughter attend the luncheon.</p>
<p>I have an AP test the afternoon of a luncheon for an organization that has sponsored me as All-City Colonel, but I am paying the $8 fee and balking. (It's Comparative Government. I should have been able to pass. =).) Luckily for me, it starts at 1pm, so I can take the AP US Government test. (Yey!)</p>
<p>My point is, scholarship obligations come before "fun." No matter what the sum, sponsorship is sponsorship, IMHO. Even though I think like your daughter in believing that a break's a break, and I'm deserving of one, I know when to put it off for something that I'm obligated to do.</p>
<p>IMHO, amusement parks can ** wait. ** </p>
<p>(BTW, even though I'm on vacation, I still have a luncheon for the Daughters of the American Revolution on the 11th, my Award Ceremony on the 13th, the Asian Pacific Administrators Scholarship Award Ceremony on the 18th, the Republican Women's Federated Club Address (speaker) on the 19th, the American Legion, Boys State (alumni delegate) on the 19th (evening), and the British United Services Club dinner on the 20th.)</p>
<p>My two cents - luncheon. I know that it is hard for these students who have worked so hard to give up another event for the luncheon, but I have always told my son that it is a reflection on his character (which I really think is why they get the scholarships anyway). After all what an honor to have received the scholarship. If our children stop attending the events a lot more people may decide to stop giving them which would be a shame because there are students who need these scholarships desperately. Good luck!</p>
<p>Money AND free food? Who could pass that up?</p>
<p>I'm only being slightly facetious--I also agree, she should really go to the luncheon. The amusement park will be open more than that one day (I would assume or I seriously doubt she would be missing something :) ). Not going without a really good reason is taking their money without a thank you.</p>